(Closed) Do you get offended when people ask when you will have a baby?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you get offended when people ask when you will have a baby?
    yes : (90 votes)
    28 %
    no : (146 votes)
    46 %
    depends : (83 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 62
    1586 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    We dont really get asked… we get told and its super annoying… 
    We got married on january 8 in mexico and when we got back… people started telling us that we better be having a baby in 9 months… talk about pressure… we arent avoiding pregnancy but i feel like with all the pressure we may never get knocked up.  

    Post # 63
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @SoobySays:  It’s really great, right?  You aren’t saying anything rude in response to a rude question, yet it still puts the onus 100% on them.  They have to come up with a reason why they asked such a rude question!!  Usually the subject just gets changed 🙂

    Post # 66
    9134 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    In all honesty, then it’s your child’s turn for birth and marriage while you await death.  It sounds awful but it’s how anthropologists and sociologists discuss it.

    As for what comes next other than death, it depends on where you live.  For me I would say it’s celebrating birthdays and anniversaries (wedding and job related) while celebrating the same for my child and waiting for my child to get married and have children to start the process over again.  Also since I work, retirement would be a rite of passage as well.

    Post # 68
    1430 posts
    Bumble bee

    It didn’t bother me when we weren’t trying we would just make a joke out of it. But now that we are trying and it hasn’t happened yet everytime someone asks (because no one really knows) it kinda sucks. I get it from EVERYONE. Family, friends, co-workers.  Its like… if it were up to me we WOULD be having kids but it doesn’t work like that. 

    Post # 69
    6116 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think it s very intrusive.  It’s like saying, “Hey you, everytime you’re having sex are you planning to get knocked up?”  Intrusive.

    Post # 70
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @carbear02:  I tell them the truth, that we don’t plan to have any.  As you can guess that opens up a whole different can ofworms. To which I honestly tell them the 50 million reasons why we don’t.  And that shuts them up good.

    You could just tell them that as soon as you and your husband have discussed this personal and private matter that you’ll be sure to let them know.  

    Post # 71
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Not much offends me, certainly not something like this. People are just inquisitive, it’s human nature. If you think something like this is intrusive or offensive I doubt we would be friends. When I get asked I’m happy just to say ‘Shoosh you, none of your beeswax!’ and leave it at that. 

    Post # 72
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2006

    Yes! Yes! Yes! and Yes! Especially when you ask every time you see me. Totally unnecessary.  

    Post # 73
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee

    I got married when we were both 22, so I was surprised that people started asking AT the wedding when we planned on having kids. I just never thought someone would be asking me that question at 22. My husband was quick to tell everyone “not for a long time”.. flash forward and we are both 24 and due in June 😉 We ended up changing our minds haha. I am not offended by the question, though. I hear people ask my other friends/family who were just married the question all the time, only difference is most of them had set timelines unlike me! I wouldn’t ask people this question though unless we were realllly close (like my SIL loves babies, so I asked her what her plans were).

    Post # 74
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    I find that question annoying. 

    Post # 75
    1073 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t get offended! People are curious, so they ask! 

    Post # 76
    1623 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    The only person who can ask me that without annoying me is my gynecologist. 

    Seriously, if I want to clue you in to my reproductive schedule I will tell you without you asking me!  I’m not offended by the question, it’s just really not any of your business.

    I think the big issue is that the question is usually stated in a way that implies “you really should be getting pregnant now” as opposed to a truly curious question with no judgment or other such intentions behind it.

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