(Closed) Do you give a gift if you’re IN the wedding party?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

umm YES! If you can even a bigger gift than you would have normally.

Post # 4
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes!

Post # 5
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’d say so, unless there’s a real financial hardship.  But, my thought is that if you’re special enough to be in the party, your relationship is important enough that you’d want to give a gift to someone.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes.  When I think about how much it has cost me to be in weddings in the past, I feel like telling my bridesmaids to take it easy.  Between showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaids dresses/hair/make up/shoes/etc, and the presents, the bridal party spends quite a bit of money!

Post # 7
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t know if you *should* give a gift. Fiance and I are hoping our party doesn’t get us gifts. Bridal parties spend so much money as it is, they don’t need to be buying a gift on top of everything.

Post # 8
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

This is a great question! I was just wondering this because most of our bridal party didn’t give us a gift and I was wondering if people normally do or not.  I thought they would at least give us a card?? 

Post # 9
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

No. You give your gift at the showers you threw. You don’t need to give another gift. IMO.

Post # 10
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Especially if I’m in the wedding party, I’d give a gift.  Even if it is a little homemade memento that costs nothing, I wouldn’t want to be the Maid/Matron of Honor without a token, although I’m sure your friend saw the showers, parties as gifts too.

Post # 11
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve told my BMs to not get us a wedding gift. I’m kind of hoping for something small at the bridal shower, but definitely not a wedding present after they’ve spent all this money. When I’ve been in bridal parties in the past, I typically give a gift (even though one time it was just dog sitting while the couple was on their honeymoon. I was very poor and in college). So I guess it just depends on what you’ve spent before and what you can afford.

Post # 12
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, I would.  If I was in college and couldn’t afford the standard $100, I would give what I could.  Or, I would chip into a group gift from the another bm.  I think of gifts to help the couple out in the future.  I don’t really consider being a bridesmaids a ‘gift.’  I felt honored that my friend chose me to be a part of her wedding.  I gave them a gift to say congrats and good luck with their future.

As a bride, I wouldn’t expect a gift from my wedding party though. I think they did enough. Everyone from the wedding party got us a gift, whether it was a group gift or a check, they gave something. It was very generous of them though and I thanked them for doing so. We didn’t get a gift from the Brother-In-Law (best man), he had money problems so we understood.  (I thought he would get us a card but no he didn’t.)

 

Post # 13
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

You don’t have to. Gifts are nice but not required. If your throwing parties for the bride, a card should suffice.

Post # 14
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I think it would be kind of weird to go to a shower without giving a present. Even if you’re the one throwing it. So, the gift they give you at the shower should be considered your wedding gift.

Post # 15
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I always have.  I’ll bring a gift to the shower, and a gift to the wedding.  I always feel like I should give a nicer gift, since I am obviously a good friend, if I am in the wedding party.

Post # 16
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I always have.  But I wouldn’t expect it from Bridal Party.  They do so much that costs a lot of money.

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