do you give yourself house tours when at a dinner party?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
2225 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’ve commented about this kind of thing before. I think it’s incredibly rude for anyone to take it upon themselves to go into any rooms in someone else’s house (except the bathroom, area that you’re hosting them, front foyer common areas etc.) It’s much worse if the doors are closed. It’s obviously understood that a closed door means that that room is not meant to be entered.

Post # 17
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I think it’s very rude to go through someone’s house when the doors are closed.

Post # 18
Member
9717 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s insanely rude unless it was specifically a housewarming party to show off the new house.

All our bedrooms are upstairs and my Mother-In-Law took it upon herself to give my SIL a “tour” when I had dd and was in the hospital. Being huge and 9 months pregnant, things definitely weren’t at their tidiest. I was pissed when I found out later. We never invite Mother-In-Law upstairs so why she thought that was okay, I have no idea.

Post # 19
Member
3454 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I’m on team “that’s rude AF”.

That said, some people have a bit less social awareness with regard to etiquette/politeness than others and just think if something wouldn’t bother them then it’s OK. My Dad is one of those people. He is incredibly sweet, but sometimes just doesn’t think lol 

When I was about 6 months in dating my now Fiance, my parents were in town for a visit (they live on the other side of the country) and met him for the first time. He invited them over to his house  to BBQ and have a couple beers rather than go out, which was very kind of him. He told them to make themselves at home, which generally means “don’t be afraid to grab a beer out of the fridge, sit wherever you’re comfortable, and use the bathroom at your leisure). We were all outside and realised we hadn’t seen my Dad in a while. I went in to see what the heck he was up to and found him in my BF’s office/guest room looking in the closet (which was empty and open). I asked him what the heck he was doing and he said he was looking around the house and checking out all the electrical work (he’s an electrician by trade).

I was like “Dad.. dude! You can’t just wander around someone’s house like that! That’s snooping and it’s not polite!” and he was like “woops! Sorry! I didn’t mean to snoop!” lol he was a bit embarassed and I was utterly horrified and totally embarassed. BF/now-fiance didn’t care and thought it was funny when I told him after, but still… I wasn’t even living there at that point! It wasn’t my house and they had literally JUST met him the evening before…

Post # 20
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That’s a nope. And I don’t offer “house tours” to guests. I love entertaining, but I have very specific spaces for doing that (living room, dining room, patio, bar room) and I have a powder room, all of which are on the main floor. In those areas, I’m fine with guests exploring, i.e. taking books off the shelf, having a look at the selections on the wine rack, thumbing through our wedding album, etc.  I don’t consider the kitchen a common area, and prefer people to stay out of it but it’s hard to avoid as my entire downstairs has an open concept. I broke down and bought some bar stools for the kitchen island so that if folks absolutely must enter, at least they can sit still and stay out of the way, lol.

The only thing we have upstairs are ensuite bedrooms, home gym and office, and I cannot think of any need a casual visitor would have of seeing them. If I saw someone even heading toward the stairs, I’d follow them and ask where they thought they were going. And if they said anything about “showing themselves around,” I’d politely lead them right back to the common area. 

Post # 21
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Definitely rude! I would be furious. Like others, I close doors to rooms that I don’t want people to go in, as I’m very private about certain spaces. My bedroom is one example.

My mom used to do that and I would get so angry at her and she wouldn’t stop. Whenver she’d come over, she’d snoop and open doors to rooms that were closed and then comment about things she saw. So rude. I’ve never had friends do this, though.

Post # 22
Member
47287 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Place a few marbles inside the medicine cabinet on one of the shelves. If someone snoops, they will never do it again – to you, or anyone else.

Post # 23
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Helllll no, that’s RUDE AF.

We actually had someone do this at our Halloween party last year. We kept our 2 large dogs in our bedroom because there were too many people, and some guy who we didn’t even know (one of my good friends brought her boyfriend, and it was her boyfriend’s friend) heard our dogs bark so he went down the hallway and opened our bedroom door, went in and closed it behind him?!

Me and my husband were both just like…. ummmm what the heck dude?! 

Like not only did you just walk into our bedroom without even asking, which I already find a huuuuge intrusion on privacy… We had the door closed FOR A REASON… For all he knew our dogs could’ve been vicious. 

Some people have no concept of social awareness, I swear haha.

Post # 24
Hostess
2916 posts
Sugar bee

Absolutely not. I am a very private person, and if someone did that, I’d have a shit fit. I’d probably kick them out, too. My home is my sanctuary. I don’t like having my privacy invaded.

Post # 25
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I mean… if I did snoop or peak inside, I surely wouldn’t brag about it or announce it to the whole dinner party. That being said, I wouldn’t open closed doors. Maybe peek down a hallway or something.

Post # 26
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Orange County, CA

What? Never! That is so creepy and invasive. I have been guilty of looking into open rooms, but I would never enter a room or open a door unless I was given express permission! People are bizzare.

Post # 27
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

Absolutely rude! I would never go inside a room with a closed door, and I don’t even ask to look around someone’s home.   Yes, doors are probably closed for a reason – like hiding a mess, lol. 

Just like I wouldn’t open somebody’s fridge if I was a guest and not close to them, it’s just plain rude! 

Post # 29
Member
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

That’s weird. I don’t go anywhere I’m not told to go/invited to go.

Post # 30
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee

No way. A closed door is closed for a reason. Unless I’ve gotten lost on my way to the bathroom, I don’t open doors that are closed (I get lost really easily…). And even I do open a door I wasn’t supposed to, I don’t look around once I realize this isn’t where I meant to go.

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