(Closed) Do you go to bed together/at the same time?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Do you go to bed together?
    Yes. : (226 votes)
    64 %
    No. : (126 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 76
    246 posts
    Helper bee

    We always do. It’s something that just happened when we first moved in together and now it’s been such a habit I find it weird to stay up without him. Mind you FH usually “rests his eyes” as he likes to call it well before we actually go to bed. But it’s nice to just be next to each other on the couch before getting into bed. 🙂

    Post # 77
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Always! We never made the concious decision to do it but it’s a habit and breaking it would feel so weird! We’re in college and he has morning classes, mine are in the afternoon, so I help him get ready in the morning and if I stayed up late I would be exhausted 

    Post # 78
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    We try as often as possible to do this.  FI travels for work so sometimes he has to get up early for flights.  Other times I have to get up early to go to work.  If neither one of us has to get up early, we tend to go to bed at the same time.  It makes me feel more comfortable. 

    Post # 79
    7371 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    It’s 60% not at the same time. Works for us.

    Post # 80
    68 posts
    Worker bee

    MrsMY:  I’m in a long distance relationship so this question is a little tricky.  We visit each other weekends.  Since we don’t always get to visit each other every weekend I prefer when we go to bed together.  It happens most of the time.  When it doesn’t it does kind of bother me.  We have talked about it and it seems we view it differently.  I take it personally and he says he wants to stay up and watch TV.  I prefer not to watch TV to fall asleep.  Haven’t quite figured out how to view this differently and not over think it.  I’m glad you started this thread, it’s interesting to hear other’s perspectives!

    Post # 81
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    We work similar schedules so its not inconvenient for us to go to bed at the same time. He likes to go to bed a lot earlier than me, where I would rather stay up later. Even though if I were alone I would tend to go to bed later, I think it’s really important in a relationship to go to bed at the same time, so I just go to bed when he wants to. I feel like going to bed at the same time is important in order to stay close… changing that could be the start to drifting apart.

    Post # 82
    341 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    During the week, yes. Not usually on the weekends. He’s a night owl, and I just can’t stay up until 2 or 3 am as he does on Friday and Saturday nights. It took some adjustment, but now neither of us cares. We get that time together during the week, and I go to bed when I’m tired on the weekends.

    Post # 83
    161 posts
    Blushing bee

    We both work shift work, so that’s a no. Sometimes I go watch movies before bed in our room and he plays games. We are different people, different personalities, with different job times. We love each other but I am not gonna make him go to bed at 9.30 so I can get up at 6am and he has a night shift the next day and doesn’t have to get up till 2pm lol. 

    Post # 84
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It’s a nice ritual for us. We wrangle the cats, and tell the dog “Let’s go to bed!” and she scampers up the stairs. If it’s the winter time, he’ll preheat the heated mattress pad. We cuddle until I roll over to fall asleep, and he usually reads for a while after that.

    The only time FH and I do not go to bed at the same time is if he has work to do or if he is out playing a gig with his band.

    Post # 85
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    My SO and I normally sleep together on week nights then on the weekends I go to sleep early because I work weekends and am a grandma at the ripe age of 25:) while he stays up then comes to bed at like 3am

    Post # 86
    688 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    My bae and I go to bed together every single night. We’ve never discussed it, but it seems to be a shared relationship value. Even if one of us is up super late working, the other will stay up reading. I just can’t go to sleep if he’s not ready, because if he’s up because he’s worried if stressed, then I’m worried/stressed until he’s resolved what he’s working on!

    Post # 87
    80 posts
    Worker bee

    We rarely go to sleep at the same time. I work early so I’m usually in bed around 10, and he tucks me in by cuddling for 15 minutes. He then works for a few hours and has his alone time until around 5:30ish, and he comes in to cuddle me awake before I get up for work, and he gets to sleep. It works out really well actually. On the weekends, I will stay up as late as I can to hang out, but usually fall asleep on the couch. He will pick me up to put me in bed. 🙂

    Post # 88
    194 posts
    Blushing bee

    We always lay down together, but sometimes he “puts me to sleep” then gets up and does stuff (homework- we’re college students or video games mostly). I actually didn’t know this until recently, when he mentioned it assuming I knew and I was like no I’m sleeping….

    Post # 89
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    On Sunday nights I’m in bed by 10pm because I have to be awake at 5am for work, where he doesn’t work Mondays. Apart from that, we’re go to bed at the same time.

    Post # 90
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    MrsMY:  Never. I am an early bird and he’s a night owl. It’s never bothered us that we go to bed at different times.

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