(Closed) Do you go to weddings with the envelope unsealed?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll:

    Yes, all the time

    No, that's just rude

    Sometimes, depending on whose wedding it is

  • Post # 3
    634 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    o wow! i always seal the envelope

    Post # 4
    9971 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t – I seal it ahead of time.  I gift based on my relationship with the couple, among other things.  However, if I had to sit on a windowsill for dinner — ehh, I might reconsider that!  (In all actuality, I’d never take money out of my gift because I’d be humiliated if someone saw me)

    Post # 5
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I ALWAYS steal the envelope!

    Post # 6
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Sit on a window seal? Wow!

    I don’t leave the envelope unsealed. I figure out how much I want my gift to be in advance and leave it at that.

    Post # 7
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m not sure if it’s common…

    But, I don’t ever base my gift on the quality of the wedding reception. A gift is a gift. Period.
    Not everyone can afford a fancy reception or fancy ceremony so, imo it doesn’t make sense to base a gift on something like that.

    Post # 8
    30399 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I usually give a gift from the registry and send it to their home ahead of time.

    On the rare occasion where I have given a cheque,( never cash,too easily stolen and used by someone else) I have sealed the envelope.


    Post # 9
    7414 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    my gift is based on what I can afford at the time and my relationship with the couple (and how many parties etc I’ve already spent money on for the wedding). 

    Typically, when I’ve been to a shower and a bachelorette for a couple already my gift will be $100 (shower I usually spend $60 and bachelorette parties usually cost about $100). 

    Next month I’m going to a wedding where I have had none of those events and I will likely give them $150 to $175 even though I’m travelling much farther (it’s in my home city and I’m staying with relatives for free – the travel part in this case doesn’t matter to me).

    Post # 10
    2056 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I have taken an unsealed envelope to a wedding, but I was meeting with people to pitch in money together with the card, so I don’t think that counts…

    Post # 11
    3380 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014


    But yeah, I definitely seal the envelope. I can imagine your friends frustration, but it’s almost like she was looking at the gift as a tip of sorts and gave based on performance :-/

    Post # 12
    2973 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Rubbs:  I heard about this on the radio. They were discussing going to weddings with 2 envelopes with 2 different amounts in each. If they are treated well, have a great time, and can see where the money went, then they will give the higher amount. If they don’t have a good time or things look like they were thrown together, then they give the lesser amount. 

    Interesting concept but I don’t agree with it. As a guest, you aren’t tipping or paying the couple. It’s a gift. The gift should have more to do with the character of the couple rather than how much the guest feels valued at the couple’s celebration.

    Post # 13
    6574 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I take the envelope unsealed, and while I do put my expected gift in before I get to the wedding, I have added to my planned gift while at the wedding. I haven’t reduced my gift but I can’t say that I wouldn’t, if it was a real train wreck of a wedding where the hosts gave me the impression they didn’t care two shits about their guests.

    Post # 14
    4835 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    It’s never occured to me to not seal the envelope…but if I was that miffed I would just take my card home with me and mail it with a lesser amount.

    Post # 15
    3329 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I always buy a gift beforehand and have it sent to the couple before the wedding. I base the amount on the relationship I have with couple, it would never be based on the quality of the wedding. 

    Post # 16
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    How sad; I can’t believe people do this.

    The topic ‘Do you go to weddings with the envelope unsealed?’ is closed to new replies.

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