(Closed) Do you go to weddings with the envelope unsealed?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll:
    Yes, all the time : (12 votes)
    9 %
    No, that's just rude : (120 votes)
    85 %
    Sometimes, depending on whose wedding it is : (9 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 32
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I personally don’t understand giving a gift that is based on the wedding in any way.  The gift that I give is based on my own financial situation and my relationship with the couple.  The cost or format of the wedding is completely irrelevant.  I’m giving a gift to a couple, not rating a party.  The only reason I would alter my gift is if the couple decided not to get married in the middle of the ceremony.

    Post # 33
    2417 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @Regina Phalange:  Seriously, I need to get more sleep or concentrate less on the Bee and more on my job. I meant to say seal!

    Post # 35
    3101 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Rubbs:  Never heard of this.  Just strange.

    Post # 37
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Personally I believe it depends what is usually done in your area. I know in Jersey and some surrounding areas it is pretty standard that you always give enough to cover the amount of the plate. Typically I always give at least 250-300 for my fiancé and i but I always go w a blank check and fill in the amount aftera I’ll while at the reception. I’ve never given less than 250 from the both of us but there was a few times where I raised the gift amount at the wedding bc it was over the top. 

    Post # 38
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I hate the whole concept of “covering your plate” because it’s so counter-intuitive. The couple that is able to afford the $250/per plate reception (paid for my mommy and daddy) don’t NEED the gifts, as much as the couple that scrimped and saved to have the $50/per plate reception. UGH. 

    The only time I ever even came close to this was when I got to a reception and it was cash bar. I was so poor at the time and felt a little annoyed that the couple couldn’t spring for a cash bar and now I had to pay to have a drink. 

    Post # 39
    1382 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @JrzyGurl:  I agree. I’m having an expensive wedding, not far above average where I am but probably three times what my cousins spent. That is because it is easy for my parents to pay for it and they offered. It will be expensive enough for most of my guests, being from out of town. I don’t want anyone thinking about that cover your plate nonsense! Honestly, we live off a grad student/disability budget so I can’t cover my plate at a fancy black tie wedding. Does that mean I shouldn’t go to a good friends wedding? Bullshit. Especially if I have to travel to get there, it’s already expensive. I’d be more likely to stretch my budget for friends who scrimped and saved for a simple wedding (and probably worked their asses off with DIY) than a friends parent-funded black tie. Two really well-off friends of mine are getting married soon, their registry was links to their two favorite charities. That’s how it should be.

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