Do you habitually compare yourself to others?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Do you regularly/automatically compare yourself to other women?
    Yes, all the time : (25 votes)
    32 %
    No : (25 votes)
    32 %
    Sometimes, but it doesn't bother me : (26 votes)
    34 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I used to but I have grown a lot in confidence, I know what’s important to me and I know that I’m doing my best to advance in those areas, so I don’t compare myself anymore.

    Post # 17
    Member
    1593 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    apresallday :  I do this all the time. I do know why – I’ve got shitty self esteem and never think I’m good, pretty, talented or smart enough.

    The main thing I’ve learned is, if you find yourself doing this, to recognise that it’s not the other girl’s fault and to avoid judging them because you are feeling insecure. I mean, my self esteem is so shit that I used to be jealous of other women simply because my SO complimented them. That’s next level crazy. I had to work really hard to keep on top of my irrational thoughts and work on building myself up, not pointing out all the ways I compared unfavourably to others.

    Post # 18
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee

    I do compare myself to others but I don’t find myself judging the other person. I usually self reflect and realise that I compare myself to others because on some level there is something I am not happy about either about myself or my life. Once I figure out what it is I then change it so I feel better about my life and myself and no longer feel the need to compare… until it happens again, and I then I repeat the process. We’re all constantly reflecting and growing in life. It’s only human to feel a little inadequate and compare ourselves to other sometimes. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    771 posts
    Busy bee

    This is so so common, and unfortunately made worse due to social media and the ever-increasing importance placed on appearance – of a very specific kind. What I find helps is to remember that the “ideal” changes, across culture and across ages. This helps to make me realise that it’s not static, that it’s all just about society, stereotype and misogyny. We all have moments of insecurity, and why wouldn’t we when we are constantly bombarded with appearance-related media. But just know you can rise above it and see it critically for what it is.

    Post # 20
    Member
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    apresallday :  You’re welcome lovely, I found that useful too.

    Post # 21
    Member
    3456 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    apresallday :  I don’t compare myself to people in terms of appearance. Primarily because I’m fairly pleased with my appearance (pretty face, gorgeous smile, healthy hair, long legs, good shape) and partially, I guess, because I’m married and not competing for attention with any other woman. It’s rare that I meet a woman on the street and find her objectively more attractive than me, but when I do, I don’t consider it anything to feel threatened about. I have noticed that I compare my fitness/weight with other people’s though. For a bad example, I have been dieting and exercising for YEARS and I have never (and may not ever) reach my goal weight. And I get so pissed when I see a skinny coworker eating cheese fries, lol. I start thinking how “unfair” it is that it was a different decade since I last had fried food or a scoop of ice cream but these skinny heffas can eat whatever they want. It’s silly. I dismiss the ideas almost as soon as they pop up and I move on with my life. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    676 posts
    Busy bee

    Not really. I would say I am very pretty and attractive to the general population… but I also think that there is always someone out there that is not going to find me that attractive and may find someone I found not good looking to be the finest thing on the Earth. There is no such thing (as hard as it is to believe) as being more beatiful than another woman. 

    In otherwords there is a man or woman out there (or much more) that would not find you OR his gf in the slightest attractive and would not want you. 

    So don’t think that way about his gf and just think… all women are beautiful. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    Overjoyed :  that’s so sad 😕 girl I’m sure an ice cream cone won’t derail your progress. Life is short, have some cheese fries or a cone this decade.

     

    To answer the OPs original question, yes I compare myself to others but then quickly try to nip it in the bud. An ex od mine had a drop dead gorgeous sister and group photos with her would make me feel very insecure. But as I get older I’m learning to love myself more and appreciate my good qualities. Exercise Def helps with the self-esteem/feel good hormones ☺

    Post # 24
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee

    i think I did many years ago,but then I suffered terminal illnesses and great tragedies and that sort of thinking just seemed too petty to me,when you have real problems it won’t bother you.

    Post # 25
    Member
    4094 posts
    Honey bee

    apresallday :  I do all the freakin time. It’s almost an automatic thing. Never with looks or money but always with other people’s achievements. I normally vent out to my mom or SO about it but they try to put me back in my place by pointing out how lucky I am in many aspects. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t so I’m stuck moping around.

    Post # 26
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee

    You are definately not alone here!

    Hell… I’d probably envy myself if I didnt know me lol

    The grass is always greener and I think only growing older and wiser will help ease this feeling. 🙂

    Post # 27
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee

    I compare myself to others all the time. It’s used as a way to push myself to do better. 

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