(Closed) Do you handle each others savings/saving habits?

posted 5 years ago in Finances
Post # 2
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We each have personal accounts (checking and savings) then also have a mutual checkings account to pay joint costs plus we have a savings account that is sub-divided into separate saving-purposes:

1. debt reduction/long term (once debt is gone this will become a down payment savings) 

2. Travel (the continent we live on is not the continent either of us grew up on so we do A LOT of expensive travel to visit family each year)

3. Rainy day (an emergency fund in case we lose our jobs — it’s basically kept at a level to cover all living expenses for 6 months)

Savings (3) just sits as it’s been built up to the necessary 6-month level at this point so we don’t put any more money into it anymore. Travel and debt reduction has a fixed amount added each month.

Basically we sum up how much we each need to put in to cover monthly joint costs and monthly savings targets (targets that we have determined together in advance) then have an auto-transfer that moves that amount of money into our joint account each month the day after our paychecks are deposited into our individual accounts (we’re paid monthly). 

Every 6 months or so we re-evaluate our savings targets and joint costs to adjust how much is auto-transfered monthly. Neither of us keeps much as individual savings, it’s really just a few thousand each and for me it’s more of a buffer in case an unexpected big cost occurs (e.g. vet bill, emergency flight home, etc). The bulk of our savings is in the joint account. 

So I’d say that our savings is done mutually and not his savings vs  my savings. We make fairly comprable salaries at the moment (that will change in the future as he has higher earning power) so for now everything is 50/50 but once our salary difference increases we’ll switch to proportional contributions. 

Post # 3
Member
371 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
iwanticecream:  Currently, we have 2 accounts each. 

One where our monthly pay gets paid into and the other where a part of our monthly pay gets paid into. 

The latter we don’t touch. It’s our back-up savings account.

Then when we get married, we plan to have another account which will be a joint one where we contribute the same amount. We’re unsure if the latter account previously mentioned will add to this one though. 

Post # 4
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

My BF is in charge of the economy in our household 🙂 I am relieved and he feels good about having control, since I am terrible with money 🙂

Post # 5
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Having been on both sides — being the one who was responsible with money and tried to help my then-boyfriend save and pay down debt and now having a husband who is an accountant and we are totally on the same page with finances — I can say that I would NEVER go back to the relationship where I felt like I had to hold his hand through his finances.  I felt like his mother and it SUCKED.  He would get on track and then go off and spend a crap-load of money again on stupid things.

It is easy to say now that you will take control of the finances but this can very easily result in built-up resentment.  Say you agree to start saving for a house.  You agree he will save $x,xxx and you will save $y,yyy.  In 2 years you look at the progress made and he has only saved $zzz.  What do you do then?  How do you handle that?  How will you feel knowing he didn’t put away the money you had agreed to put away?

I can’t even begin to tell you how different it is when you are with someone who is completely on the same page financially as you.  As I said, I was in your position once and I remember the anxiety, frustration, and anger when he was putting stupid spending habits over paying down his $75k+ debt.  Now is the time to figure out a plan and be completely open and honest with each other.  Figure out what it is that you expect on both sides.  Figure out if you would both be ok with you controlling the finances.  It is easy to say you would be fine with it, but then once you are in the middle of it things can feel a lot different.

Post # 6
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

I take care of my husband’s bank account as well as my own. He just gives me access to everything and I manage everything. He’s not good with saving and investing money (though he’s not that much of a spender either). I’m not good either but it’s easier that way.. You don’t need to be with an accountant to be completely happy if you do not mind managing the cash flow. I like to have control of everything and am a bit of a micromanager in that sense and he has full trust in me so it works out perfectly for us. As long as he listens to what you have to say about finances, I think it’s okay. My husband doesn’t go and spend heaps on things..if he did, I prboably won’t be able to cope with that…

Post # 7
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My Fiance is not good at saving money. He even has a savings account, but it’s connected to his checking so he just pulls from it when he’s low on funds. To save for our wedding, I made a spreadsheet where we input what we save from each round of paychecks, and we opened a savings account at a credit union so it’s super difficult to get money out (you have to actually drive there to do it). And if I don’t bug him about writing a check to the savings account, he won’t get around to it. He really wants to save, but he needs someone to prod him along to actually do it.

He actually wants me to be in charge of the finances when we get married! I’ve always been super good with money and I’m a big planner, whereas he had it pretty easy even in his early 20s (mom basically handled it all, although that turned out to be more of a control mechanism than kindness).

Post # 8
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

We get paid on alternate weeks, we just talk about our spending and what we need to pay. All our accounts are joint

Post # 9
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My husband isn’t terrible with money, but he struggles with financial planning for the future. We have all joint accounts. The key to finances is communication. I handle all of the bills and maintain a spreadsheet with our budget. I track our spending throughout the month. We discuss our budget and plans for future frequently. I save the spreadsheets on our computer, so he can see our spending, and of course he can access all of our bank accounts. There have been a couple of times where he spent way too much on something, especially in the beginning of our marriage. But we would have a long talk about our goals and keeping our eyes on the prize. Regardless of our personal wants, we both know that we are in this together and OUR future is key.

Post # 10
Member
509 posts
Busy bee

we have a joint account as my other half is terrible with money… i pay everything out of our joint account and i handle the savings. 

Post # 11
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We are going to have a joint checking and savings account once we get married. I am a little nervous about this as my fiance is pretty bad with money. It is a habit he got from his parents. However, I am hoping that once I have a little more control, I can monitor where his money goes. I feel as if I cannot say much too him because I am a full-time student and work a seasonal job. Despite that though, I save every cent that I receive and hate to spend money. I have found that since he moved to live closer to me, his spending has gotten more under control. Now he simply window shops (in person or the internet) and does not actually buy too much. I would be carefuly bringing up finances because it can often come off a little aggressive. To date, the worst argument we have had has been about his financial habits. We discussed it again at a later date in a much calmer fashion. He has so far paid off his debts that he had and is now working on saving as much money as he can. I let him have control over his money now because he is paying more in monthly expenses than I am. But, we have the mutual understanding that once we’re married especially, there will be no hiding of each other’s finances and we will have our finances combined.

Post # 12
Member
3607 posts
Sugar bee

My DH is good with money, so I don’t have to push him to save, but I could be better and he sometimes has to remind me to cool it a little with my spending. We sit down and talk about our goals and how much we should be putting into savings each year. We have joint finances, so it’s impossible not to be transparent with one another.

Post # 13
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Our finances are still technically separate (as in separate accounts) but we have a lot of financial conversations and we each contribute to different things as needed so it’s also really a joint effort. Once we’re married it will be joint accounts. In the last 6 months we’ve really been talking more about it and getting on the same page about our financial goals and setting money aside and being responsible. It’s definitely a great step for us.

Post # 14
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

My Fiance is horrible at saving money as well, so we will never have a joint account. All bills come from my account/credit card, so whenever he’s responsibile for contributing anything, he transfers money from his account to mine as soon as he gets his paycheck. He also lowered his credit card limit to what he can actually afford every month.

Post # 15
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

DH is fiscally smart, which I found to be a very desirable quality in a partner. Early on we discovered that we’re both similarly frugal. Although he has some spendy hobbies, he keeps it in check. 

My parents have very different approaches to finances, and it led to a lot of disagreements growing up. Because of that, it would really bother me to have to curb a partner’s spending so much. 

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