- 8 years ago
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
I’d be interested in a thread about if your SO’s have a best friend. Mine says that I am his best friend, but he has three brothers and a lot of male friends from his fraternity that he is close to. I’ve asked him who is his best friend, but he can’t name one over another.
I can TOTALLY relate to this and am feeling very emotional about it recently, myself. I take a long time to open up to people, but growing up all through high school I always had a best friend. I didn’t really find that in college, and now that I’m five years out of college, I miss it dearly. I also recently moved to a new city and am finding it difficult to meet people, let alone meet best friend-potential people.
Anyway, I don’t have anything that I can say to help, but I do relate to you. I would like to believe that it’s never too late to find dear friends, though, and that 30 is certainly not too late to find a bff.
To those of you out there who have best friends, particularly those of you who have found best friends after college–where did you meet your bffs? How did you get so close?
I have recently “broken up” with a long time best friend, or rather, she broke up with me. It was worse than ANY break-up with a boyfriend because of the history we had, 15 years of friendship. I cried a lot at first, I was hurt, confused, and finally, I moved on. In my heart I will always love that girl but I have at least recognized that the friendship was toxic and it was time to move on, just like a relationship. I whole heartedly agree that it can hurt as bad as a bad break-up, because it did.
But I have other best friends, that are still part of my life every day, as well as my Fiance, so I guess I’m not really so bad off.
I have struggled with this as well. My best friend is a straight guy–I’ve been friends with him for 10+ years and he actually introduced DH and me. He is also quite close with DH and he is like a brother to both of us.
I have good girl friends, and had a pretty big bridal party, but I don’t think any of them consider ME their “best friend.” My mom is probably my best girl friend, lame I know. I grew up with an older sister who I was very close to, but she died when I was 13 and I haven’t had a best friend who was a girl since then. I’ve always wondered if part of me is scared to be that open with another female.
Sorry to be a downer, it actually somehow makes me feel a little better to know I’m not the only girl who feels weird about not having a female BFF!
As a mature woman in my mid to late forties, I longed for a BFF for many, many years. I felt like I had a lot to offer. Kindness, loyalty etc. Although I have had close friends through the years and some I thought were “best friends”, these relationships never stood the test of time. I built up a friendship with a great person over the last several years and I consider her my long awaited BFF. We get together regularly and share very personal experiences just like great friends should! It came a lot later in life than I expected but am so grateful that it finally did!
I do not have a best friend, let alone friends.
I know people through my Fiance, but all of my friends went by the waste side.
I knew a few girls but we are not close, we don’t talk to each other unless it is on FB.
I suck at making friends. xD
My Fiance is definitely my best friend.
But as far as “best friends” outside of the relationship go, I would say when asked that it’s my Maid/Matron of Honor, but truly (as my fiance is well aware of) it’s actually (bizarrely) an ex-boyfriend. There’s nothing romantic there at all anymore (and we only dated for a few months, years ago, and decided we were better off as friends) but when I need someone outside of my Fiance to tell it like it is, he’s definitely my go-to. We talk almost every day. If my Fiance was talking to some girl every day I know I would be jealous, but he (my FI) seems to be completely okay with this arrangement (the ex-boyfriend is generally on his side when I’m acting crazy, which helps I think).
I’ve never really had a best friend. I have a group of pretty good friends, but truly my best friend has always been my big sister. And obviously I would be pretty devasted if I lost my relationship with her.
I think some people have groups of friends, and some people have super close best friends. And some just have lots of acquaintances. It just depends on the person, no reason to feel sad. 🙂
I have two best friends. One is a girl and one is a guy. We met in Middle School and have been best friends since.
I can really relate to you when you say that you give advice to friends and are there for them, but you dont find yourself going to them often. That is something I have struggled with too. I just find it difficult to open up and talk about myself. I didn’t even realize it about myself until I had several friends point it out to me. I think for me, that is what keeps some of my “good friends” from being “great friends.” I really want to work on it!
That being said, I do have a a best friend (besides my fiance). She and I have known each other since were 6 and 7 and we are 27 and 28 now. We went to elementary, middle school and high school together. We went to different colleges and but made an effort keep in touch regularly and as a result remained very close.
I consider her to be more than a friend — she is like my family! Its funny –if we don’t talk to each other for a week it feels like we havent talked in forever. We are both very supportive of each other there is absolutely no drama anywhere in our relationship. I often have a hard time opening up to people for fear of being judged, but she is able to give advice and her opinion without judging you or holding things against you. I like to think I do the same for her. I can honestly say I would be lost without her!
I’ve had more than my fair share of best friend breakups. They suck, but you eventually realize that it’s for the best.
I do have a small circle of best friends, though one of them is definitely my best best friend (that sounds weird). She’s my Maid/Matron of Honor, but she lives an hour away, which sucks. She also works full time and goes to school full time and I work full time, so we don’t see each other a whole lot. I have another best friend who actually lives around here, but she works full time and has a daughter (who’s awesome), so we also don’t see each other much. One of the other girls lives across the country and works third shift, so we don’t talk nearly enough. And then there’s my (slightly older by three weeks) cousin, who lives in another state (but it trying to move back here), who’s married, has a baby, works full time AND goes to school full time. We really never talk or see each other, except on Facebook.
Other than that, my Fiance is my best friend. We have a great time together, we live together and don’t drive each other nuts (mostly), we enjoy the same things, etc.
No friends or girlfriends accept my fiance. I had a really close girlfriend for nine years (we went to HS together) until she let her masters degree go to her head – at the time I was just angry and since she had been pulling her crap for months, I knew it was time. I miss her every now and then though when I need advice and I can no longer go to my mom who was my best best friend. “Breaking up” with my mom was VERY hard.
Has anyone else been in the position of not just drifting apart from friends but not really ever having had best friends in the first place? I feel like I am constantly in the position of thinking I’m very close friends with someone and realizing that they consider me more of a casual friend. About four years ago, I really got my feelings hurt by friends on a regular basis. Basically, I lived in the same town as lots of friends from various points of my life (high school and college) and they were frequently too busy to see me and didn’t return calls. They were all single and childless so they didn’t really have a good excuse for why they were too busy to hang out. In fact my married friend with a kid was 10 times better a friend, even though she had a legitimate excuse for being too busy to maintain a friendship. As you can tell the hurt feelings still linger.
Anyway, I have my mom (another one who considers her mom her best friend), my nephew, my BF and about three friends (one being a guy friend) who were really good at keeping in touch while I was abroad and who put pretty equal effort into the friendship. And the friends I’ve make in the past few years although they seem to have a close-knit college groups so it’s hard to get BFF status with them. So it could be worse I guess.
I have two friends who I consider best friends, but I had one friend who I considered was my true soulmate best friend. Unfortunately, a year ago we had a huge fight and haven’t spoken to since. She won’t reply to my invites to the wedding. Our breakup has hit me more than any boyfriend one just because I felt like nothing would ever tear us apart and that she would never betray me like a man could. I would feel the same way if my Fiance and I had a fight and broke apart because I feel like we are soul mates like I thought my friend and I were.
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