(Closed) Do you have a Work Spouse?

posted 8 years ago in Career
  • poll: Do you have a Work Spouse

    Yes - I have a Work Spouse

    No - I don't but would like one

    No - I don't and don't see the point

    I think it is a great way to get support and have fun on the job

    I think it is dangerous to my REAL relationship with my spouse

    I think they can be beneficial as long as both parties do not cross the line

  • Post # 3
    2559 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    At my last job I had two – haha.

    Luckily, we were part of an 8-person close work friendship and my husband knew and was friends with both of them, and it was a non-issue to my relationship.

    Now I’m in grad school and I’m not sure if I’ll develop work spouses in my current job – sure hope so though, cause it was great to have someone who empathized with the bad days, laughed with me on the good, and was generally on my team. My husband is also a huge support but he’s in a totally different field so I like having someone who knows what’s up in my particular line of work.

    Post # 4
    5843 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I have a work husband. We do the same thing so we mostly just complain about work and grab lunch together. We’ve also been house hunting at the same time so its nice to have someone to bounce things off of. We’re both married, DH knows about him. DH actually makes his own beef jerky once in awhile and my work husband always gets a batch.

    My previous work husband came to our wedding (we don’t work together as much anymore hence ‘previous’)

    ETA: Oddly, I used to work with DH and he was never my work husband.

    Post # 5
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i work with almost all women and dislike most of them, so my real spouse (to be) gets to be my stand-in work husband and hear all my vents throughout the day via text. i am not sure how he feels about it, but it works great for me!

    i dont see anything wrong with being close with coworkers of the opposite sex at all and if that friendship is what keeps you from storming out the door some nights then more power to you!

    Post # 6
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    He’s not really a “work spouse” because we don’t actually work together, but I have 1 very best friend who is my “back-up husband”.  We have been friends for a very long time, and my husband knows him as well, we hang out as a group occasionally, but not all that often.  My husband knows how close we are, and we’ve had a few bumps in the road over it, but nothing major and he now understands the level of friendship that we have and is comfortable with it.  

    He also has a steady girlfriend, but even during the times when he didn’t, our friendship has been solid.  He’s actually the first person I talked to when I thought DH might be the real-deal.  

    Post # 7
    2861 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    No, I’ve always found the concept odd. I am not the type to reach out to others for support though. I gravitate towards females, I am just not a big fan of aquiring new male friends. Just would feel weird and wrong to be getting emotional support and or attention from a man other than my Fiance for me.

    Post # 8
    2899 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I have a “work husband” – his wife actually addressed the thank you note to me after their wedding to “My New Husband’s Office Wife.” Neither she nor my fiance are threatened by our relationship – our partners obviously come first, and there’s never been any romantic feelings between us. But we all spend so much time at work, it’s nice to have a really close friend to hang out, have lunch with and vent about work. And we’re all definitely “couple friends” – we have dinner together a lot and my Fiance and I babysit their kids too. 🙂 

    Post # 9
    1812 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I have a work spouse, and I have been sleeping with him for about 4 years.





    But in fairness, he’s the same spouse as I have at home – I work with DH and it is great having someone who knows the downside of my job.  We can support each other and be able to give each other advice.

    Post # 10
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I don’t like the term, “work spouse”–I think it’s more just coworkers who work well  but when I worked in a more office-based, collaborative job (I’m a grad student now and on my own), I had colleagues, both male and female, who I leaned on in ways like you are described. For example, my moh was a friend from my office, and I also had a close male coworker who is a very good friend. I leaned on him a lot for both work and non-work things–for example, he’s married and was an awesome support when I was waiting for dh to propose!

    Post # 11
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have a work spouse too.  I am making him my real spouse in 24 days.

    Post # 13
    299 posts
    Helper bee

    @cariad you got me good! For a second I thought this thread was going to take a very different turn.

    I used to have an office spouse but he got fired. Now he’s just my friend. 

    Post # 14
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think they’re inappropriate, but maybe that’s just because of the only experience I’ve had with “work spouses.” I work with two people who call each other their work spouse, but they have a very flirty, very touchy-feely relationship that frankly makes me uncomfortable.  I would NOT be happy if I found out another woman was giving my Fiance backrubs at work.

    Post # 15
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Both my SO and I have work spouses – but I have a work wife and he has a work husband (and, I like to joke, a work mistress who is also a guy). Both of us are in academia but at different schools – we can definitely understand each other on the work issues and stresses, but we each have someone in our own department who we talk shop with, complain to, freak out with with, etc. It wouldn’t bother either of us if our ‘work spouses’ were opposite sex friends, but they just happen to be the same gender as we are. Incidentally, some people in our department think me and my work wife are romantic ladyfriends… I think it’s really healthy to have someone who can really understand your work dynamics to talk and vent to, rather than always bringing it home where it can cause additional stress.

    Post # 16
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    My husband totally has one. I never knew there was a term, but it kinda annoys the hell outta me! So often he tells, “Well Beth said this…” or “Beth thinks that…” or “Beth and I are going to get ice cream.” (There are two ice cream places near their office.) I’m like, “Really, dear?” 

    But, I’ve met her. It’s fine, but I really wish he worked with more men. His offices always make me doubt that gender gap in the sciences I always hear about.

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