(Closed) Do you have “Gaydar”

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know what you mean, but often times we are wrong.  I’m in a same sex relationship, and when I tell people, they are SHOCKED.  Sometimes you can just never tell.

Post # 4
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

maybe it’s a cultural thing. i have a friend who everyone swore was gay. he wears really tight shirts, was the only boy in guard, and the things he said sometimes just screamed gay. now he’s married (to a girl) and has a baby. i still question him but whatever makes him happy.

Post # 5
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think effeminate mannerisms are a pretty poor marker. I’ve known plenty of butchy gay men and plenty of effeminate straight men.

I don’t really have gaydar so much as I just attract gay men to me. I am a total fairy princess.

 

Post # 7
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I didn’t think the post was offensive. I was just saying I don’t think it is a good predictor.

Closeted people marrying a member of the opposite sex is a tragedy for everyone involved, and there is nothing wrong with worrying about your cousin if your alarm is going off. You’re probably right to say nothing, just be supportive if you’re right.

One of my best friends married a closeted gay man. When he finally came out, it was really tough, but they maintained their friendship for their daughter and it worked out. For most people, it is tough, but it is one of those things were there usually isn’t a bad person. The closeted person is usually just really deep in denial and honestly loves their spouse.

Post # 8
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My gaydar’s pretty bad.  I didn’t find out that one of my good friends turned roommates was gay until after we moved in together (other friends have always had a suspicion he was though).  He didn’t publicly come out until that time.  When another close friend of mine came out to me, I was pretty shocked too.  I just thought his mannerisms were a result of him being from a foreign country, lol!

Post # 9
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

I do have a gaydar…but mostly for males…

FI has a two cousins who are also brothers, one of them gay and the other claims he is not. For example’s sake, let’s call them Jimmy (gay) and Johnny (“not” gay). Jimmy is out of the closet and people dont mind. Johnny is very metro, and hangs out with only males. In the 6+ yrs with FI, I have NEVER seen Johnny have a female relationship. He brings his male “friends” to family functions, family reunions, and even on vacations. I asked FI “how long has Johnny been out of the closet?” and he gruffly replied “Johnny’s not gay!”…I am pretty sure he’s gay…

Post # 10
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think sexuality is a tricky subject– there is a lot of gray area. One of my friends married a closeted gay man and I had no idea. Other friends are married to more effeminate men and have very happy marriages. I think it would be hard to say anything to your cousin without  risking your relationship with her.

Post # 11
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I agree that this is a tricky subject and manerisms are not reliable – mostly correct but that 10%(or whatever) where it’s not correct is killer. 

The only bright side is that speedy romances are usually based partially on uh, excellent twister, no?  That’s what I associate them with :).  I’d be more concerned if your cousin was religious.

Post # 12
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Ugh, no… not at all. I’ve hitten on more gay men than straight, I think.

Post # 14
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I dunno, again, when two people have nothing in common but seem into each other I assume they have great twister!

Post # 16
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Lol, sorry!  Euphanism from Mrs. Cheese – great sex.

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