- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
I don’t know about other places, because honestly, I’ve only ever worked here…since I was 13, I’ve been in this building…which is a good thing, I consider it my second home, but the downside of that, is one of my fellow employees.
With the exception of three people…the other ten have been here as long as I can remember, and I understand that kind of loyalty is rare and to be celebrated, unless the party in question is also insane.
One person in particular, I call her Old Ironsides, is without exception, the most horrendous employee in this whole office. A martyr of epic proportions, a bad communicator, passive aggressive, Chanel soaked, dried up husk of a woman that delights in the misery of others.
That’s why her office is in the back, like some horrible she-dragon that slaughters assistants , she waits back there for an unsuspecting victim to venture too close….and then she feasts on their broken corpse, flinging their entrails into the filing room as warning to the rest of us, never get to close to the lair…..at least not without an offering of some kind to appease her.
Old Ironsides came out into the light of day, to shriek at me about one of my receptionists. I have two, and one of them is currently battling breast cancer, for the second time, so of course, she can come and go as she likes, the fact that she’s even here at all still blows my mind, since my father and I argued that she should just stay home through her treatment…but she insisted that she work, at least part time, because it gave her something to focus on….ANYWAY she handles a lot of the little things around the office, since with two receptionists, the work load is a little thin, and one of those things is scanning the incoming mail….but she wasn’t feeling well and is not here today.
ENTER THE DRAGON:
Old Ironsides: Are you going to scan the mail today?
Me: Let’s see, let me check…NO
Old Ironsides: Well, YOUR receptionist isn’t here to do it.
Me: I am aware…cancer is funny that way.
Old Ironsides: Well, I just wanted to know who was going to do it.
Me: And what if no one does it? What happens then?
Old Ironsides: Someone has to do it.
Me: No, no they don’t.
Old Ironsides: Don’t be ridiculous! If you won’t do it then I will.
Me: I believe we have reached an understanding at this time then…will there be anything else?
Old Ironsides: No….yes, you are a spoiled rotten brat and I’m telling your father!
Me: No need.
Old Ironsides: Why is that?
Me: He’s standing behind you.
Old Ironsides stomps off furious as my father stands smirking behind her….
Dad: Why didn’t you just tell her there wasn’t any mail today?
Me: Because this is more fun!
Anyone else work with a monster? How do you wrangle them?