(Closed) Do you have registry regrets?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would LOVE to hear the bees’ opinions on this!  I’m debating the same thing! 

Or even more so, the things that we really want/need are rather $$$ (new mattress, vacuum cleaner, etc.) And while we could use a couple new towels and plates, we’re really pretty set!  I have no idea how to go about this.  Normally I would just not register for anything, but let’s just say our taste is pretty different than the majority of our guests and I REALLY don’t want a ton of knick-knacky things!

Post # 4
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Oh there are afew things I would do differently if I could go back a year in terms of my registry. For the most part I love my gifts but I put a lot of specialty items on there that I thought were neat but not overly practical. While I agree that a few of those are fine most people loke giving those types of gifts so we got a ton of serving pieces (we don’t really entertain much either) and fances vases or pitchers, etc when we really needed things like dish towels, bedding, etc and did not recieve any of those.

Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

For the most part we registered for typical things, linens, dishes, some decor items, etc. We didn’t register for crystal or china though, while we have some family crystal, we don’t have any china and we decided not to register for it because we didn’t think we’ll ever use it.

Now, I kinda wish that we had registered for a nice china pattern just for the special occassions/holidays. It’s probably still not very practical for us to have china, but I slightly regret not having pretty china to display/use for nice dinners.

Post # 6
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think I handled the registry in a pretty practical way. Fpr example, I have a million vases, so we didn’t register for anything like that. One thing we did that was sort of impractical was register at two high end stores and one lower end. My Fiance is always worried that people won’t buy us anything because there aren’t enough lower priced items, but I think there are a ton. Pleople can buy just pillow cases or only two towels. If several people do that, we will end up with full sets of really nice things that will last for a long time. I hate buying cheap things that need to be replaced often because it ends up costing more money.

Post # 7
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles

This is a great post– we didn’t live together before marriage and neither of us really cooked so much, so we just sort of guessed what to put on the registry.  I might do things differently if I was registering now.  Things I wish I had registered for:

– big LeCreuset dutch oven (I registered for the small one, but it’s so small that I don’t use it very often)

– really big saute pan (again I only have a medium sized one)

– more every day platters to serve food from

I registered for way too many fancy serving pieces which are beautiful but we *never* use them!

Post # 8
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I am really struggling with our registry right now.   Though we live together and thought we had everything, you’d be surprised at the stuff you can find that you "need!"

The thought of china and crystal is not terribly exciting to me, but we registered for it anyways.  Our parents like to give this stuff as gifts and I know that we will eventually want it (like in 10 years when we have kids and are having thanksgiving at our house).  Another factor in favor of registering for this crap is that I know we won’t purchase this stuff on our own.  Also, we want to buy a house and could really use the cashola.  So I keep thinking, do we really need a 150 china teapot?? 

We are also registering for every day dishes – we’ve had ours for like 6 years and its chipped, cracked, we are missing pieces etc.  Unfortunately I can’t really find any ones that I like that are reasonably priced (champagne taste on a budlight budget as one of the bees likes to say!)  So, now I wonder if we should just register for some dishes that are fine, but that I am not in love with.  I want to be excited about the gifts and not regisering for the sake of registering.

Another problem is hoping that we have enough stuff on our registry that is "cheap" – we don’t want our guests to feel pressured into buying us expensive gifts.  We have about 175 coming (likely) and most are going to have to stay overnight, which is a big expense.

So I guess I am not offering any advice but just sharing my woes!

Post # 9
Member
10 posts
Newbee

One of the best pieces of advice I was given about registering is that you should register for the people you are today, not the people you hope to someday be.

For example, if you don’t drink, why are you registering for wine glasses? Because someday you might maybe have people over who might want a glass of wine? Don’t bother registering for crystal if you wouldn’t use it now… in the hopes that when you have kids you would use it.  Will you really use crystal when you have kids? (I just picture it being knocked over!) Also, most people dont have space to be storing a bunch of stuff they’re not even using.

The other piece of advice is to only register for things you can afford to replace. If one of your crystal glasses or lovely plates breaks, can you afford to replace it? ‘Cause otherwise, what is the point?

Post # 10
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Let me correct my post – we will not register for china/crystal FOR the kids.  I just mean, I can picture wanting/needing it when we are 35-40 and all growed up.  I know that my FI’s profession will ultimately involve us entertaining and I can envision needing/wanting this stuff in like 5-10 years.  But, we don’t need it now.

I do like your theory though – register for who you are NOW.  That still allows me to register for my over priced every day dishes : )

Post # 11
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Erindesmar – I didn’t think you were registering for china/crystal for the kids, but just that when you have kids, you might not want to risk one of them running into the table or something and one of the pieces falling on the floor. All hypotheticals. 🙂

And, hey, as long as you can afford to replace one of the over priced every day dishes if one breaks, then go for it!!

 Apparently I have a fear of my dishes breaking. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

I sort of agree, but on the other hand I registered for china and crystal because although my generation isn’t hosting holidays yet, in the next 10 years we will be.  In the mean time I want to host our friends over for dinner and I’d love to use our fine dished for the occasion.  I *love* when my parents say something like " Honey, can you grab the stockpot" Which stockpot" "the one we got at our wedding", there is just something so romantic, sweet and communal to me about your family and friends helping you to start a home. I know my parents wedding gifts still mean so much to them even after 35+ years.  I doubt my mom was planning on using her china all the time at 24, but excited for creating the occasion with her husband to use them.  On the other hand, if you don’t ever picture you and your FH having dinner parties then serving ware and china might not be as practical. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Let me rewind about 30 years ago. My mom was pressured into registering for fine china/crystal/silver. She not only got the 8 place settings she registered for but got twelve  + many serving pieces.  At the time they were living in a tiny apt, had no kids, and were struggling to get by. China at the time did not seem very prudent.

Fast forward to now. Any where between 5-8 times a year for probably the last 15 years she throws parties for young ladies in the community getting married (usually a very beautiful bridal luncheon :), baby showers, a huge Christmas party, usually a party for my dad’s work, nice dinner parties etc. 

Yes all of this could be done without fine china etc. but it truly makes things so much more special when she does bring it out.

So I say that you need to think long and hard before you decide not to register for the nicer things because you don’t need them today. I am glad that I put those things on the registry and that I took a long time to think about the style and long term availability of these items. 

Post # 14
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I wish I had picked different dinnerware! We went with the ivory Fiestaware, and now I’m beginning to covet the white. Don’t know why I was so against the stark white from the get-go??

I’ve had 2 showers, and the wedding is only 15 days away…so changing my registry isn’t an option. =(

Post # 15
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’m not wild about my formal china.  It was a compromise with my husband since he hated the pattern I liked best.

Post # 16
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Fancy dishes talk, fun!  We didn’t register for any fancy china.  To me it doesn’t make sense if you don’t have the space to store it (other than in a box in the attic), or are planning on moving in the near future — something always gets broken.  I can just picture a box of barely-used china getting dropped in a move. 

China’s one of the things my mom made me promise I wouldn’t register for.  She never uses hers and said I could have it.  I don’t know if I would use it either.  My Fiance and I have people over for dinner all the time, we love to cook.  But breaking out the wedding china to serve dinner with just isn’t our style. 

Now the steam vac that we registered for, that’s what party throwing people really need.  That’s right.  Spill that red wine.  No problem!

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