(Closed) Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

its exciting that your mom is getting married. especially to a man you obviously approve of.

what i don’t understand is why her wedding needs to be so close to yours. especially when she has offered financial assistance.

has she actually specifically said she won’t be helping you out anymore?

Post # 5
Member
46331 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Green Day -Basket Case

Did your Mom specifically say she wasn’t going to help out financially now that her own plans have changed?

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

oh honey im sorry – i cant for the life of me imagine what it would be like to be disappointed like this, why do people do this???   you have 9mths, can you do something to sock away money per month??

Post # 6
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That sucks. I mean it sucks in such a sucky way because you don’t begrudge your mother her own happiness but you can’t help but feel like you’re getting screwed after you were banking on the funds from your mother. Has she officially told you that she’s not helping you with the wedding? Have you talked to her about how the only reason you changed your original plans was based on her suggestion and offer to help financially? Perhaps you can both find a happy medium as far as money goes?

Is it too late to go back to your original plans? I know you’ve already got the $350 deposit down but if you’re not getting help would it be better to give up the $350 and save by going back to your original plans?  Sucks for sure but maybe your mom can give you the $350 deposit back and you can go back to point A. Obviously, not ideal but perhaps the situation is not as bleak as it feels right now.

Post # 7
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That just plain sucks!  I was doing the same thing, bbq reception, keeping it affordable and then about a month or so later my mom offered to help pay for a real caterer.  I was ecstatic and if she would have backed out, I would not have been able to do it.

Your mom is definitely stealing your thunder.  It’s nice that she is gonna get married and all, but c’mon, this is too much!  Plans should be about your wedding, not hers!

I feel bad for you.  I would sit down with her and tell her not just financially but emotionally it isn’t fair to you.  Ugh, I’d be pissed!

Post # 8
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Why couldnt she wait to get engaged until after you?  I’m sorry and I am by no means a diva but if my mom did that *ish or her bf though that was appropriate I would be pissed!

 

Anywho, if you say you are going to contribute you need to!  Sorry you’re going through this!

Post # 9
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Your mom is definitely stealing your thunder….. Why couldnt she wait to get engaged until after you?  I’m sorry and I am by no means a diva but if my mom did that *ish or her bf though that was appropriate I would be pissed!

why are people having a problem with the mom getting married THREE MONTHS after the daughter?  i mean usually if a bride said woe is me someone is getting married 12 weeks after me people will say she had her day and she cant own the year

unless im missing something the problem is financial. OP changed her original plans on on a financial promise made to her by her mom and the situation has changed and she is now being let down while backed into a corner and committed to a more expensive venue

Post # 12
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee

I think that if someone close to you is planning their wedding, you should space it out more. It’s a little frustrating because it just takes a lot of money at one time if she’s going to still help you out, but it doesn’t sound like she’s saving a bunch of money for your wedding. But who knows, maybe she is. Especially if her Fiance is helping out too! 

I think you could definitely cut costs on the reception dinner and save some money there. It sounds like you have a sort of back-up plan, which is good. It’s hard when you’re counting on help that doesn’t show up, and I’m really glad it isn’t harming your relationship with your mom. It’s annoying for sure, but you sound like you have some good ideas 🙂

Post # 13
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Pinksapphire:

Sounds like a really difficult situation – it is hard to be promised money and then plan something based on that. I would discuss it with her and explain that you made changes based on her promise, and see what she can come back with. Money complicates everything but I hope it works out for you.

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