(Closed) Do you have to give a gift at a wedding if…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Aquaria:  A nice card and $100 is plenty.

Post # 4
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I think what you’ve already given is plenty.  

Post # 5
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

When I give a gift at the bridal shower that is my wedding gift to the couple.  If you want to add in a card and $100, you are super generous!

Post # 7
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think if you give a gift at the shower, you do NOT need to give a gift at the wedding.

Post # 8
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with your husband.  You have to give a gift, and I think you should give what you normally would give, even if you are in the bridal party.  If you would normally give more than $100, you should here as well.

The shower is a separate gift from the wedding gift.  Same goes for engagement party gifts.

Post # 9
12003 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

shower and wedding gifts are seperate.  I would give what you normally give.  In my case, that would be a place setting (or other $60ish item) for the shower and $100 and a card for the wedding.  How much more does your husband thing you should give?

Post # 10
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you ever HAVE to give a gift, but in your situation I agree with your husband.  If I go to a shower, or even multiple showers for the same person, I always bring my typical $75-100 gift and always give my typical $200-300 check for the wedding even if I am part of the bridal party. 

That being said, some of our wedding party memebers did not give us anything and we don’t care at all that they didn’t.  It’s just not what we would do.

Post # 11
124 posts
Blushing bee

Other than the shower, which is a gift giving event, I don’t think you are obligated as a guest to give a gift at the wedding.  However, I think the majority of people do in order to be polite.

I think your suggestion is just fine, especially since you are in the bridal party, and I think the couple would appreciate it.

Post # 13
1431 posts
Bumble bee

I would still give a wedding gift but think $100 is very generous, don’t see the need to go higher.

Post # 14
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes you should definitely still give a gift. Enough to cover both your plate and your SO’s plate and a tad bit extra.


Post # 15
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

$100 is plenty, I know lots of people say if you’re in the party not to give a gift…. but I always do.

Post # 16
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Aquaria:  I was told that if you’re in the bridal party and pay for all of your things then that is considered your “wedding gift” to the couple. I think that it’s the same as if you have already given a gift at the bridal shower. The one wedding that I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in I did give a small gift too, but only because it was a small amount spent on our Bridesmaid or Best Man things. If you end up giving another gift, or on top of the $500 you’ve already spent, then I see you to be very kind and generous!

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