(Closed) Do you have to have a MOH?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8570 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s your wedding, do it how you want. Typically, a Maid/Matron of Honor is the closest female [friend, relative or otherwise], to you – and i understand that mother’s don’t quite fit the bill. I would say in your situation it would be perfectly fine.


For my wedding, we are going to have a small bridal party, 1 Maid/Matron of Honor, 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man, 1 BM and 1 Groomsmen. And i’m perfectly okay with it!

Post # 4
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think you have to have one if you’re not particularly close to one Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I have a Maid/Matron of Honor, but the only thing she’s doing differently from my Bridesmaid or Best Man is just holding my bouquet during the ceremony.  We aren’t doing a traditional bachelor/bachelorette thing or formal toasts (doing an open mic kind of thing), so designating a Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t essential for me, but I am way closer to one of my girls so she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 6
4111 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor at all. I have 3 bridesmaids but they are all really important to me for various reasons. There would be no way I could pick one to be Maid/Matron of Honor and not the others. So they are all bridesmaids and equal “status”. The more calm traditional one is planning the shower; the crazier, fun one is doing the bachelorette. The only thing that will separate one from the others is which stands next to me during the ceremony and holds my bouquet – and that will likely be determined by height and which girl looks best with which guy 🙂

Post # 7
1425 posts
Bumble bee

You don’t “have” to do anything.  Your wedding, therefore you have what you want!  

DH had his sister as yhe one and only person standing up with him, definitely not the norm!

Post # 8
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Don’t do it if you think it will cause hurt feelings!

Post # 9
23585 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Nope, you don’t need to have a MOH! Like people are saying, it’s your wedding and you should go with your gut! 😀

Post # 10
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s your wedding…do whatever you want! 

Post # 11
11259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@cerulean_dreams:  i had my adult son stand up with me.  he walked me down the aisle, presented me to my dh and then took his spot as my ‘man of honour’.  we are very close so i couldn’t imagine having anyone else beside me.

if you are so close to your mother, there is no rule that says she can’t be your moh.

Post # 12
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

It always seemed like a popularity contest to me where someone is bound to get hurt. I’m not having bridesmaids because I hated the idea of making some of my friends feel more special than other friends. I am equally happy that everyone I know and love will be at my wedding. My bridal party consists of my FSD and FSS, and that’s it.

Post # 13
4042 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nope, you don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor. If one person was clearly a standout over the others as far as helping or a close relative (like only one is a sister or family member) you might consider it. Otherwise it will just lead to hard feelings.

Post # 14
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, but you do need to choose one person to hold your flowers during the ceremony, fix your train, and sign the marraige licence, which are all duties of the Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 15
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m going to disagree slightly with people here.  You don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor per se, but I think you do have to have a witness.  In the church where I’m getting married, a “MOH” is required, but that’s just to be a witness.  I’d look into seeing if a witness is required for marriage in your state, and pick a person (it could be your mom!) to sign.

Post # 16
6390 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

You also might think about who’s going to plan your bridal shower and bachelorette parties. If you think they’re close enough to plan them together, you’re good. But, if you think the bulk of it will be put on one girl, you might want to make her Maid/Matron of Honor to give her some recognition. Just something to think about!

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