(Closed) Do you HAVE to have a proposal?

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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caselicious:  First of all, congrats on the engagement! Official proposal or not, it still sounds like an engagement to me. If YOU think it is necessary and really want a moment for the two of you to talk and have him “officially ask you” then mention it to him. He sounds like he would be really understanding from the little of him you described. And if you dont need the special moment and what you have is already special and real enough for you, then I say that’s perfect! 

Post # 3
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t think you need a proposal but can understand where you worrying that you screwed up his plan. It sounds likes he’s not bothered though and is happy with how it panned out. If you’re both happy then perfect. An actual proposal might be contrived now? 

Post # 4
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think the time for a proposal has passed. You wear the ring, maybe you did steal his thunder a bit but can’t go back now. Just focus on the future.

 

Post # 5
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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bubbycakes:  +1

I think it would be a little bit silly now, particularly when you’ve had it on and keep giving it back..

I do love the story of it happening in the car though! that isnt any less special than a ‘proper’ proposal. 

I would let it go now and focus on being engaged and planning your wedding. Congrats bee! 

Post # 6
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I didn’t get a “proposal” we just agreed like you did and now I wear a ring and are getting married. I am not overly romantic so it didn’t really matter, I also didn’t want to be the center of attention like a proposal at a restaurant (ring in a champagne glass etc…) I would not feel comfortable with that. But that is me. 

but since you are wearing the ring and keep giving it back to him, there is no reason for him to formally propose. I would just wear the ring from now on and focus on wedding planning together.

Post # 7
Member
1836 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think some fancy officiol proposal is necessary at all! Congratulations on your engagement and lovely ring! I picked out my own diamond and my boyfriend bought it and when it came I took it to a local jewelers to have it set and when the ring was done and I picked it up and the salesperson asked me “Do you get to wear it or does he have to do something with it?” I said “I get to wear it!” and I was glad! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You don’t need a proposal to be engaged. It will be contrived if he does anything now so I think that ship has sailed. Congratulations on your engagement all the same!

Post # 9
Member
6237 posts
Bee Keeper

“He even came into the room while I was getting ready, and gave me the ring with a little speech and lots of loves lol”

theres your proposal right there 🙂

if you’d like the bended knee ‘will you marry me?’, just tell him. Have a little joke and hopefully he’ll ham it up and it will be cute and funny but no need to make anything more of it as he’s made it clear he wants you to be his wife and you’re wearing his ring. Yay! 

Post # 10
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I don’t think you need to give it back. I think this is a great story in its own right – one which you both might laugh about in the future! 

Post # 11
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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caselicious:  No, you do not need a proposal. My DH is very romantic but even he just handed me the ring at a restaurant in a very romantic setting. He didn’t get down on one knee, he didn’t make a speech, he didn’t even ask “will you marry me”  The downside of this was that we had never discussed marriage and I was a little confused for about a minute. I guess some bees wouldn’t have considered us officially engaged.

Post # 12
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

In my opinion, it depends on the person.  Because my SO and I have been designing the ring together, coupled with the fact that I am a bit of a theatrical person…….okay a VERY theatrical person…..I wanted a surprise proposal with some thought.  He knows this about me and I know he’s planning something lovely.  On the other hand, if you have been together, have kids, and don’t feel like that is something important to YOU, then it is not necessary.   But if it bothers you, OP, I would bring it up to him that you wanted a formal proposal.  

Post # 13
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think the little speech was his proposal right there. 🙂  It doesn’t sound like he’s upset that it happened that way, so I wouldn’t worry.  If he wants the chance to do something special and romantic and surprise you, put him in charge of planning parts of the honeymoon. Or he can plan your date for your next dating anniversary or your date for your first wedding anniversary.  There are plenty of chances in a relationship to create a romantic surprise for your partner. 

We didn’t have a proposal either. We’ve been talking about marriage for a few years, and one day in the living room I just asked him if he wanted to get married this summer and he said yes. 

Post # 14
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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UK-bee:  +1

Him coming into the room and making a speech and lotsa love -> that was it!

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