Post # 1
When my fiance and I got engaged, it wasnt with a ring or him even really.. asking. We’ve been together for almost 6 years, it felt right, and we just.. agreed.. that we should get married. It happened in the car, with our kids, on our way to target lol. Literally no actual proposal involved. A while later, we bought rings. The jeweler asked if my fiance wanted to be the one picking them up, and was asking if he had planned a way to give me the ring, etc etc. My fiance said he had something in mind, then that was it.
He held onto my ring for a few weeks, and nothing happened. I thought for sure he was going to do something one night when we went out, and went to the beach after a dinner date, but nope. I had plans to go with my aunts, cousins, and grandma to the bridal bazaar the following weekend, and I wanted to be able to show them the ring. So the morning of the bazaar, I asked if he would mind me wearing the ring yet, and he was cool with it. He even came into the room while I was getting ready, and gave me the ring with a little speech and lots of loves lol.
After that, I took the ring off and gave it back to him so he could do whatever he said he had planned. But it never happened. He asked me to wear the ring again a few days later when we went out on another date night, and just told me to keep wearing it.
I keep feeling like I screwed up his plans on an actual proposal though, and I even ask him every once in a while if he wants the ring back so he can do whatever he had planned. He says there’s no point in doing it now because there’s no surprise anymore, but.. I dunno. How do I fix it so he still has that special moment? Or is it even really necessary? I think I might be over thinking things again, but I’m just not sure :/
Post # 2
First of all, congrats on the engagement! Official proposal or not, it still sounds like an engagement to me. If YOU
think it is necessary and really want a moment for the two of you to talk and have him “officially ask you” then mention it to him. He sounds like he would be really understanding from the little of him you described. And if you dont need the special moment and what you have is already special and real enough for you, then I say that’s perfect!
Post # 3
I don’t think you need a proposal but can understand where you worrying that you screwed up his plan. It sounds likes he’s not bothered though and is happy with how it panned out. If you’re both happy then perfect. An actual proposal might be contrived now?
Post # 4
I think the time for a proposal has passed. You wear the ring, maybe you did steal his thunder a bit but can’t go back now. Just focus on the future.
Post # 5
I think it would be a little bit silly now, particularly when you’ve had it on and keep giving it back..
I do love the story of it happening in the car though! that isnt any less special than a ‘proper’ proposal.
I would let it go now and focus on being engaged and planning your wedding. Congrats bee!
Post # 6
I didn’t get a “proposal” we just agreed like you did and now I wear a ring and are getting married. I am not overly romantic so it didn’t really matter, I also didn’t want to be the center of attention like a proposal at a restaurant (ring in a champagne glass etc…) I would not feel comfortable with that. But that is me.
but since you are wearing the ring and keep giving it back to him, there is no reason for him to formally propose. I would just wear the ring from now on and focus on wedding planning together.
Post # 7
I don’t think some fancy officiol proposal is necessary at all! Congratulations on your engagement and lovely ring! I picked out my own diamond and my boyfriend bought it and when it came I took it to a local jewelers to have it set and when the ring was done and I picked it up and the salesperson asked me “Do you get to wear it or does he have to do something with it?” I said “I get to wear it!” and I was glad! 🙂
Post # 8
You don’t need a proposal to be engaged. It will be contrived if he does anything now so I think that ship has sailed. Congratulations on your engagement all the same!
Post # 9
“He even came into the room while I was getting ready, and gave me the ring with a little speech and lots of loves lol”
theres your proposal right there 🙂
if you’d like the bended knee ‘will you marry me?’, just tell him. Have a little joke and hopefully he’ll ham it up and it will be cute and funny but no need to make anything more of it as he’s made it clear he wants you to be his wife and you’re wearing his ring. Yay!
Post # 10
I don’t think you need to give it back. I think this is a great story in its own right – one which you both might laugh about in the future!
Post # 11
No, you do not need a proposal. My DH is very romantic but even he just handed me the ring at a restaurant in a very romantic setting. He didn’t get down on one knee, he didn’t make a speech, he didn’t even ask “will you marry me” The downside of this was that we had never discussed marriage and I was a little confused for about a minute. I guess some bees wouldn’t have considered us officially engaged.
Post # 12
In my opinion, it depends on the person. Because my SO and I have been designing the ring together, coupled with the fact that I am a bit of a theatrical person…….okay a VERY theatrical person…..I wanted a surprise proposal with some thought. He knows this about me and I know he’s planning something lovely. On the other hand, if you have been together, have kids, and don’t feel like that is something important to YOU, then it is not necessary. But if it bothers you, OP, I would bring it up to him that you wanted a formal proposal.
Post # 13
I think the little speech was his proposal right there. 🙂 It doesn’t sound like he’s upset that it happened that way, so I wouldn’t worry. If he wants the chance to do something special and romantic and surprise you, put him in charge of planning parts of the honeymoon. Or he can plan your date for your next dating anniversary or your date for your first wedding anniversary. There are plenty of chances in a relationship to create a romantic surprise for your partner.
We didn’t have a proposal either. We’ve been talking about marriage for a few years, and one day in the living room I just asked him if he wanted to get married this summer and he said yes.
Post # 14
Him coming into the room and making a speech and lotsa love -> that was it!
Post # 15
Thanks ladies! Having the typical proposal isn’t a big deal to me at all. I just feel like I stole his thunder, like it was mentioned before lol. The only reason it even sparked any concern, is cuz several people we know just recently got engaged, and were all gushing about the proposals and how their SOs did this or did that, and I think it made my fiance feel a little insecure since we didn’t even really have anything like that. He’s said he’s a little bummed that he wasn’t able to do a full on proposal, but in the same breath he tells me he has no idea how he would’ve done it either lmao. I do think his little speach was really sweet, but I feel like it had been a little forced since I had asked to wear the ring.. :/ Honestly, I think the biggest problem, is that he’s having a hard time cuz he feels that since this is how things are “supposed to be done”, he feels he has to follow those “rules”. He’s the same with planning the wedding lol.