Do you help your SO De Stress from work?

posted 3 weeks ago in Career
Post # 31
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

No. If my husband is really stressed with work I cut him some slack with helping with chores and I don’t push him as much to go out and do things with me because he’ll probably need extra rest. 

Post # 32
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

My husband had the worst job imaginable when we got married last year. It wasn’t just work stress, but mobbing of all kinds etc. They didn’t even allow him to go home sometimes more than 24+h. Anyway, pure hell!

I tried my absolute best to show my appreciation to pull through, and also supported if he wanted to quit. We would take long walks and there was this song called “Vacation” that I played on my phone while walking and dancing. The lyrics read something like:

🎶Eh, eh, eh I’m on vacation, cos I love my occupation. 

Eh eh eh, if you don’t love it, you should make a change. 🎶

This was amazing support for him, anddd he changed his job. We moved to another city. Now his stress is waaaay less.

Sometimes I give him a massage and cuddle. But yea, all in all, definitely distract and rechannel energy to something positive. 

Post # 33
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - Concord, Ontario

My fiancée enjoys having her feet massaged. She also enjoys getting her head rubbed and my fingers running through her hair 

Post # 34
Member
10425 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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@desertgypsy:  I’m here! 

But also my first response was “tell him to man tf up we all got stress it’s the goddamn apocalypse” but blowjobs would have been my second piece of advice. 

Post # 35
Member
486 posts
Helper bee

My bf hates his current job (luckily in talks for another job with better pay and an environment that encourages new ideas), and we had a discussion where he said he just needed to unwind quietly after work.  Normally I’m off before him, so I usually have it set up so he can come in and sit on the couch and zone out to shark tank or something while I finish up dinner.  Usually in 30 minutes time he is back to being in a good mood, but he works in a super super super toxic environment and it takes a bit to shed that negativity off him.

Post # 36
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m the one with the high stress job, but for me it helps so much when he does housework. Something as simple as doing the dishes or laundry when I am exhausted helps, and I love coming home to a clean house.

There was a point when he had a stressful commute, and he preferred to be left alone for a bit when he came home. He would sit in his car for 10 minutes or so unwinding from the horrible drive, and then come in and need time alone to decompress (smoke a bowl, maybe pop open a beer). The days where I would ask him if he was okay or try to talk about something regarding the house, the dog, or ask him how I could help would honestly be worse. 

Post # 37
Member
1906 posts
Buzzing bee

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@NKR:  Same. My DH’s love language is definitely physical touch. Sometimes that means he just needs to lay his head in my lap for a little bit and I rub his forehead or play with his hair. 

Post # 38
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

We both have high stress jobs. I work 40-45 hours at the office and then in call the rest of the time. I had to answer my phone 6 times last night between the hours of 10:30 pm -6:30 Am. All issues that could be resolved in the morning but people are stupid and selfish… he works 80-100 hours outside of the home. The one day he is home he just wants to sleep all day. 

I am stressed beyond belief due to house issues but that’s my problem to deal with. Neither of us can destress the other.

Post # 39
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

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@slomotion:  what’s it mean when blowjobs cause stress? I previously broke my jaw and only good for 10-15 minutes and he doesn’t get off that quick. They always end in me crying in pain and him not happy. I avoid them at this point…

Post # 40
Member
10425 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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@penny1403:  I would do a combo of hand action and mouth. Take frequent breaks with your mouth and make sure your hands are very wet.

But also, you totally don’t have to do anything you don’t enjoy. If it causes you pain you can always do other things! 

Post # 41
Member
10425 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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@penny1403:  Also google or YouTube the Grapefruit method. 

Post # 42
Member
4681 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My husband needs some time alone when he comes home upset or stressed out – he’ll usually shoot pool for awhile or do some simple tasks on his woodworking projects (sanding, finishing, etc.). The best thing I can do is let him be until he’s ready to be around people again and try to ensure there’s nothing to worry about for the rest of the evening (ensure dinner is made, housework handled, etc.). 

Post # 43
Member
3922 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@futuremrscat:  DH works outside in the heat for up to twelve hours a day. So, as Mrs. Cleaver as this sounds, when he gets home (I am working remote), I try to make sure that he has a meal ready and doesn’t have to think about that. He will shower and eat and then he likes to go on our back porch and relax with our cats. We have a hammock and all three cats will pile onto him while he listens to music. I will sometimes join him. Currently, because he gets home so late, it’s hotter than the Devil’s dick, and I am newly pregnant, I am exhausted and will be in bed. From my position in bed, I can see him on the porch and we can talk to each other. He says the only things he needs after a stressful day is his wife, his cats, and some good music. 

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