(Closed) Do you include “& Guest” on STD envelopes??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Put "& Guest" on STD envelope?
    Yay : (6 votes)
    15 %
    Nay : (32 votes)
    80 %
    Other, explain below. : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I didn’t, for a few reasons. First of all, I wanted to make sure that we would be able to let everyone have a plus one, and a year out was too soon for us to tell. Secondly, I didn’t want to just put ‘and guest’ on the envelope if it was someone I knew well, but I also didn’t want to risk them breaking up and then feeling awkward later on. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3374 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Yep I put and guest.

    The point of save the dates is so that your guests can buy plane tickets. How will they know if their girlfriends and fiancees aren’t invited too?

    We gave everyone a plus one (except for widowed grandparents or divorced aunts)

    Post # 5
    Member
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    We only gave “and guests” to people whose names we could put on the envelopes. For example, we invited my cousin and her very longtime boyfriend. Some of my cousins would look for the nearest available girl and use it as a date. If space allows, we’ll allow our single guests to bring +1’s and will list them as “Mr. Joseph Smith and Guest” on the invitation envelope.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Do you mean truly single, or single as in the IRS not yet married standard, where the person may have a Fiance, long-term SO or live-in SO?  As a guest, I beg that those partnered but IRS single where you plan to invite the partners, you put their names on the envelopes as well.  I’ve needed to make plane flights before where I had to awkwardly reach out to the bride to find out if my live-in SO of several years was invited or not.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If someone is completely single, and you want to give them a guest, they won’t be concerned about finding a guest 6 months before the wedding! (If they’re engaged or very serious with someone, it would be nice to put that other person’s name. If they’re more casually dating someone… I think same as my first sentence.)

    Post # 8
    Member
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @o0olibelulao0o:I waiting for the real invites before I added “and guest.”

     

    ETA: If I knew their guest, I’d write both names. If I didn’t, I’d let them call and ask. I didn’t want people scrounging for a guest if they saw that on the save-the-date.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    We didnt include and guest on the STD’s for our single friends. We waited until invites went out and then included that on the actual invitation of course. Idk really why we did it that way, Im not sure I had a reason. lol

    Post # 11
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I haven’t really thought about it because we are only doing +1’s for people who we know well enough to know their name. I don’t think it is totally necessary, but it might be nice. I got invited to a friend’s wedding recently and she put “and guest” on the save-the-date. It didn’t really matter, but it was nice to know my fiance was invited before the invite came!

    Post # 12
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I did not include “and guest” on my STD’s. I’ve read that it isn’t necessary because it’s an informal reminder. When you send out your actual invitation, you can include it but it’s not necessary for the STD’s.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1199 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I just asked this question a week or 2 ago here 🙂  The answer that I was thinking and made the most sense was ‘No’ – why do you send a STD to an unknown person?  If I knew the person’s SO then they were added to the envelope but if the invitation was going to say “and guest” then I just put the actual invitee’s name.

    ETA:  here is the link to my thread for some more opinions 🙂

    http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/addressing-stds-6

    Post # 14
    Member
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    You don’t put the phrase “and Guest” on anything is the etiquettely correct response.

    STD’s are not a required part of an invitation suite.  They are meant only to be sent to guests that you cannot dream of having them miss the wedding.  Like you sister or best friend from highschool.  Not every flavour of the month that your cousin is dating (even if they will be invited to the wedding).

    Post # 15
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I voted other because similar to someone else our “and guest” is for people that we actually can name who are either engaged or who have been in an extremely long term relationship.  For example, my cousin who I’m sure will bring his fling of the week will get a plus one (only because he’s family) but we’re not handing out plus ones to everyone but on his save the date it says Mrs.B’s Cousin…. ONLY….. Not Mrs. B’s Cousin and Skank of the Week.  Our rule so far has been single bridal party is getting a plus one no matter what, engaged people, and people who have been in LOOOOOONG term relationships.  I’m sure that (extremely close) family will probably get plus one (but not on STDs).

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