Post # 1
Help me out girls- I registered for my bridal shower but now want to pull it off because honestly, what we really need is money. we’ve lived on our own long enough to have the basic living necessities and are now trying to save for a house… We thought we would just register for something like HONEYMOON.COM which is a site that people can pay for things on your honeymoon. That would help out greatly.
My question is, how do I incorporate that into my invite without being tacky? Do I add a small card inside the invite, or leave it alone, wait for people to ask and explain what we really need is help with our honeymoon or saving for a house?
Im worried if I dont include any registry it will make people get us things we may not need. What should I do? What is the etiquette for this? Help!
Post # 3
It’s not really a good idea to put your registry info on your invite; it looks like you’re digging for money. It is ok to put that info on a shower invite, however.
What we did is put a little section on our invite about visiting our website for more information and we put our registry info on there – there are tons of places to get a free wedding website if you don’t have one already; we are using Momentville
Post # 4
If anything, I’d just put a little card with your invites that says, for more information visit our website at http://www.blahblahblah.com
Post # 5
Eek! I definitely wouldn’t include your registries on your invitations! Do you have a wedding website? You could list them there; there’s usually a spot for it.
Post # 6
From what I have been told, registry info with the invite is a no-no but it doesn’t mean you cannot do it. I personally wouldn’t do it though. My suggestion would be to do what Tessabella said. Put a small card with your wedding website that will contain the registry information. Your family can also spread the word, if asked.
Post # 7
DO NOT put it in your invitations. You can never really ask people for gifts, money or otherwise. We registered at some pretty traditional stores, but we included our wedding web site on a card inside the invitation (mostly to direct people to reserve their hotel room) but the web site had the stores where we were registered.
Post # 8
If what you really need/want is money, your best bet is not to register at all, anywhere. My sister did this and received 100% cash gifts (aside from her friend who is a sculptor and made her something — which rocked).
I will readily admit that if I received an invite with registry info on it, not only would I probably not go to that wedding, I might just sent a ridiculously tacky gift (sans receipt) just to tweek the hosts’ presumptuousness.
I’m a little squeemish about the web page info, too. I think all registry related stuff should be done word of mouth. I told my mom, his mom, my sister and two close friends where we were registered and left it at that. Some people straight up and asked me what I wanted (which was refreshingly honest, IMO), and others found out through the grapevine. And some probably found us with a quick google search.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2009 - Red Fish Grill
It really depends on which invitations you’re talking about. You mention having registered for your bridal shower. If that’s the case, I’ve received several shower invitations on which registry information has been included. For my shower invites, the registry information was included on a separate card.
Now if you’re talking about your wedding invitations, that’s something else entirely. I’m of the same opinion as the previous posters on that matter. We included that information on our website and made sure that the web address appeared on our save the date and direction card. Let your family and bridal party know as well so they can spread the word. As careful as we were to direct folks to our site, we still had some ask us where we were registered. Bottom line, they’ll find out somehow!
Good luck! :o)
Post # 10
You do not include any registry info on your wedding invites. Your Maid/Matron of Honor or family members can spread by word of mouth and people will ask you themselves if they need to. Also, if someone is throwing a bridal shower for you, they should put it on the invite to that, but never put it on the wedding invite.
Post # 11
no no no! You could put it on a website and send out the website address in the invitations, but save the registry information for bridal/wedding showers!
Post # 12
This isn’t such a big deal here in England – we always get registry details in with the invites and we don’t bat an eyelid…
However, I bat both eyelids when I get a note saying that as the bride and groom have all their pots and pans they don’t have a list anywhere but are saving for a new bed (as I did to a wedding we’re going to this weekend) They also listed with a honeymoon website so we put something in to that…
Post # 13
Yea, I live in Scotland and most people give their registery details in with there invites here too.
Don’t ask outright for monitory gifts, that is a bit tacky, however if you register with the honeymoon website put those details down for sure. I’m always glad when people tell me exactly what they want for their wedding (I don’t like just handing over money though, that does make me feel a bit robbed).
Post # 14
It is a pretty big etiquette no-no to include registry or gift preference information on the wedding invitation. However, it is perfectly acceptable to include this on the shower invitations, since the purpose of that party is solely for gifts.
Personally, I like it when I know the registry information so I know what to get the couple, but I still won’t be putting that on my invites. I gift cash at 90% of the weddings I go to anyway.
What I would do is set up a wedding page on a website such as theknot.com. On there you can share with your guests your story as a couple, your wedding plans in-the-making, other details and registry information. Then include a card insert in the invites that say, “For more information, please visit http://www...” Then, if guest decides to visit the site and see the registry section, you can mention that you are saving for a house/honeymoon and will know what to give. But include your registry also – some people find joy in giving a tangible gift. That is the polite, descrete way besides word of mouth.
Post # 15
You can encourage your shower hosts to select a theme, such as bedroom, bathroom, living room and all the guests purchase gifts according to that theme. Since you prefer financial gifts, your hosts can build a theme around that. They’d then include the theme in the shower invitations. It works well when your hosts have personal conversations with your guests to explain the theme if necessary.
All of my showers have themes. In fact, our hosts tactfully encouraged our guests to do group gifts to help us knock out some of the more expensive items.
Post # 16
What I do not understand is that the same brides that think it is ultra tacky to include registry info with their invites are the same ones who are also offended when they do not get a gift! I have seen this in multiple post. Brides complaining they did not get a gift from a friend or relative. I am still undecided on the registry info.