(Closed) do you include your registry info in wedding invitation???

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
15 posts
Newbee

Im from South Africa, and over here wether you put your registry info on the wedding invite/separate card, etc. it really doesnt matter! Good social etiquette entails that your guests have ease of access to information and are given a range of choices. I think that you should give your guests the option of using a registry but also include the info about honeymoon.com. At least if they mind the donation registry, they can at least go the route of purchasing a gift the old fashioned way.    

Post # 18
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

I agree.. I wouldn’t write it on the invite, but add a little card with the info…I have seen this done many times…also if you have a wedding site you can post it there and also add this info to the envelope, just not on the invite.

Post # 19
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Not to beat a dead horse here, but you should NEVER put your registry information on your wedding invites. Some countries do it, but in the US it is HIGHLY frowned upon. Recieving a gift from a guest is not a requirement, it is a courtesy, so you should NEVER EVER even MENTION gifts on something as formal as the invitation. There ARE people who do it, but the majority of people find it absolutely tacky and there is a very good chance you’ll offend many guests.

As everyone else said, the best thing to do (besides spreading the information by word of mouth) is to include your website address on your invitations. (You can find plenty of free, user-friendly wedding website builders, such as theknot.com and momentville.com.) Then, on your wedding website, create a page in the menu titled “Registry Information” or something to that extent. On that page, list your honeymoon.com website in lieu of the typical department store links, or if you’re feeling bold just explain your situation in a tactful manner.

If they go to your website and see that you aren’t registered for toasters, blenders, and crap like that, they most likely won’t get you one. Once they see the link to the honeymoon donation website, they will probably get the hint.

When I recieve wedding invitations, I always assume that the registry information will be on the couple’s website, so I know to check there. Most people are practical – they don’t want to waste their money buying you something they know you won’t use. I would much rather someone tell me flat out that they have all the appliances they need, but that donations to their honeymoon or house fund are always appreciated. It’s not wrong to tell people that, especially if they ask. You just need to know how to tell them and doing so on the wedding invitation is NOT the way.

However, it is absolutely appropriate to include registry information on your BRIDAL SHOWER invitations, since that is the purpose of a bridal shower afterall – to shower the bride with gifts.

Hope this helps, and good luck! 🙂

Post # 20
Member
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You might not want to have a bridal shower if you don’t want gifts.  Those events people usually bring presents not money.  If you are talking about bridal shower invitations, you can put registry info in there.  But for wedding invites, like everyone else has said, just put a card with your wedding website in there and let family know where you are registered but don’t put registry information in there.

Post # 21
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

never ever mention gifts in a wedding invite! spread the word to your bridesmaids/family, so they’ll be able to answer questions directed to them.  of course, if you’re asked, be honest and say “your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself, but if you’d like to bring a gift, we are saving for _____ and a monetary gift would be wonderful.” or something.  good luck!

Post # 22
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I don’t understand why having registry info in the invite is seen as such a no-no.  The vast majority of invites I have received included the registry info and I appreciated it.  Etiquette wise, I thought if you attended a wedding you were expected to bring a gift??   So why does etiquette say not to include the registry info?  Seems contridictory to me.  Simply getting an invite could be seen as the bride & groom seeking gifts, especially when they send them to people they know cannot or will not make it.   I know of quite a few friends who complained about that.  So simply, you just cant please everyone and someone is going to be offended or annoyed at your choice.  I don’t know many people who attend a wedding while purposely not planning to buy the couple a gift. 

Post # 23
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

stlucia, I feel that your guest taking the time to make a presence on your special day is presence itself. If I had a loved one who I knew couldn’t afford to buy me a gift, I would still want them to attend my wedding. Weddings are so ridiculous nowadays – it’s like Christmas – everyone is so busy worrying about the gifts they’ll receive (which are just that – a gift! you’re luck to receive ANYTHING) that they lose sight of the true meaning.

Yes, it is proper etiquette to bring a gift, but it is not something the bride and groom should ever “expect,” especially on something so formal as the invitation. You really can’t please everyone, but you’ll offend less people by simply making a note on your website or telling them your situation when they ask you. While some people don’t mind – or mind, but keep their feelings to themselves – there are people who will be offended enough to not give you anything (as many people here have already said they would do in such a situation.) Like you said, some people already equate a wedding invitation as a solicitation for a gift – do you really want to push that deduction even futher by tactlessly posting your gift registry on it too?

Post # 24
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldn’t do it.

It’s not proper etiquette imho.

But we’ll get a website and on that it will have the little registries we’ll have along with the charities (2) we wish to honor.

Post # 25
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

no. No. NO.

Post # 26
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We had guests who attended our wedding reception and did not bring gifts.  We were glad to have them!  In this economy, we know several people who have lost their jobs or who are in fear that they will lose them.  I would much rather have such people attend the reception and not bring anything than to have them avoid coming because they could not afford a gift.

I agree with the others, registry information should not be on the invitation.  We linked ours from our wedding Web site, which was in turn linked from our invitations.  (All RSVPs were via the Web site.)  Those who wanted to get us gifts could find the information, but there was less of a sense that gifts were required as an admission ticket.

Post # 27
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would talk to other couples you know in  your area and ask them, because from anything I have ever read on the subject, it depends on where you are from. Some people find it absolutely a huge no no. But where I am from, it is actually considered polite to include that info on a SEPARATE CARD for the ease of the guests. In no way does it imply that a gift is required, it is simply to inform them with their own ease in mind.

Post # 27
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think it is ridiculous people would get offended if I put registry information in with the wedding inviation. Most of our guests we don’t see on a regular basis- they don’t know what we have already and what we still need. What are they supposed to do- guess? It didn’t even occur to me that it could be considered a faux pas until I started reading these boards. Initially, I didn’t even want to register but everybody said I had to or else I’d end up with a lot of random stuff I didn’t want. This just goes to show you that you can’t please everybody. I haven’t been to too many other weddings so I don’t have much to compare it to. Actually, one wedding I attended did not include registry information with it but I thought that was just because they didn’t get around to registering (it was a very short engagement). Another wedding I attended also did not include registry information, but I was told they just wanted cash. Now which is worse – including a list of things I’m actually going to use, or just someone saying “oh they just want cash.” I think the former is better.

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