(Closed) do you invite "and guest" on save the dates?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes, if you’re inviting people with guests, it’s nice for them to know that now so they can plan.

Post # 4
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Nope. Only address the STD to the one person or married couple you are inviting. 

Technically, for a non-married couple-you only send a save the date to the person you’re inviting. Like say-if you’re friends with Kim Kardashian and you’re inviting her and Kanye-you’d only address the STD to Kim-you’re telling her to save the date for your wedding…you put Kanye’s name only the inner envelope of the invite. The rational behind this is that if Kim and Kanye broke up before you send the invite…you aren’t obligated to invite Kanye too. 🙂 

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Post # 5
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No. 

Post # 6
Member
13290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I didn’t.  We just did all of that on the invitations.

Post # 7
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think stillme had it right. It’s nice for them to know.

Post # 8
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Nope. Will do on invites but not Save-The-Date Cards. If there’s a question, my friends (who are the primary single folk we invited) can always ask me.

If they’re bringing a long term boyfriend/girlfriend we know by name, those names went on the Save-The-Date Cards.

Post # 10
Member
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I didn’t.  I figured that as people start to tell me whether or not they can come, we can be sure to mention that they can bring a date if they want.  We are 30 and 32 though, so most of our friends are in relationships and this didn’t apply too much.

Post # 11
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I read up a lot about this, and technically, etiquette dictates that you never write “and guest”.  You need to find out the name of the significant other and include it on any type of invitation.  If the person does not have a significant enough significant other to have it be a clear person, you are not supposed to invite them.

Post # 12
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes. I know etiquette says you are not suppose to invite “& guest” but I sent Save the Dates to my friends who were in a new relationship or were single with an “& guest” because I didn’t know who they would be dating 9 months from now. That way they could make travel/hotel arrangements appropriately.

Post # 13
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sundaymonkey:  Technically, you are suppose to call each single guest and ask if there is someone they would like to accompagny them to your wedding. Then you send that person directly an invitation.  There is no an obligation to do so, but it is considered polite and being a good hostess.

Post # 14
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@LizzyR Thanks—I know I wouldn’t Kanye showing up at my wedding if Kim K was my friend and they broke up! 

@CityBearBride That rule is for the actual invites…Save-The-Date Cards are only sent/addressed to the person or married couple you are inviting. See my Kim and Kanye example above for reasoning and clarification. 

Post # 15
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I did a combination of both..I thought it worked with our particular situation. For couples, I listed both names on the Save-The-Date Cards. We don’t have a lot of single friends-the ones who are invited to our wedding just had their name on the STD but I verbally told them when I saw them they can bring a date. When it comes time to address the invitation for our single friends, I will write “and guest” or preferably the name of the guest if I know who he/she is. We do have ONE guest who would have to fly in for our wedding-he is single so I did write “and guest” on his STD since I figured it would be nice to know asap if he is facing 2 airfares vs. 1.

Post # 16
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Nope.  STD’s are meant for your nearest and dearest, people you want to make sure really make it.

I doubt you care that much about someone you don’t even know the name of.

You can verbally let people know that you will be extending an invitation to an escort.

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