Do you invite mother of the groom to get ready with you?

posted 5 days ago in Wedding Related
Post # 2
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee

If you don’t want her there, she doesnt need to be there. I don’t think its super common to have Future Mother-In-Law there, but some people who have a close relationship may choose to include them. 

Post # 3
Member
878 posts
Busy bee

I think the reason a lot of people include their future mother in law is because they are also having their hair and makeup done.

If you were all getting ready at the hotel it might be nice to invite her for your reveal to your bridesmaids or a glass of champagne while you are leisurely getting ready. But since you will be off-site, I think you can skip the invitation altogether. It would probably be more of a hassle for her to have to bring her dress, accessories, etc. over to your place and then have to store the clothes she wore over (something that happened with one of my briedesmaids who opted to stay at our alternate hotel) than it would be for her to get ready wherever she is staying the night — at home or the hotel.

Post # 4
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

There’s no need to have her there! It’s completely your choice. Some people who are close to their MIL’s might invite them to join in getting ready, but it’s totally personal preference. You should surround yourself with people who will help you feel calm and relaxed. 

Post # 7
Member
878 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@summerbride21:  Getting ready in your own space sounds amazing — no worrying about forgetting anything! Getting her to your place and back would be a lot of logistics, I think you’re fine to not extend an invitation. (You would be anyway, it’s your wedding, but the circumstances of this make it even more clear.)

If the hotel has a salon you could always give her the number and let her know they have hair and makeup services (my cousin did this for her fmil while the rest of us got ready in her suite), but you also don’t even need to go there.

Post # 8
Member
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

we had a different situation but i invited my Mother-In-Law. 

she was sick when i met DH and i didn’t really know her or interact with her. but i wanted the day to be special for her too. i offered her hair and makeup and she only wanted the makeup done.  her caretaker brought her into the getting ready room towards the end.  i knew the order of when everyone was getting hair and makeup, so she pretty much just got there in time for her turn for makeup.

 

Post # 9
Member
381 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@summerbride21:  I am, but it’s definitely not necessary, I’ve been in plenty of weddings where this was not the case. My fiance’s family does not live here, so they are traveling here day of; I thought it was a nice gesture rather than having her just sit aorund in a hotel room.  She also is opting to get her makeup done. And her daughter (fiance’s sister) is a bridesmaid.

Post # 10
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee

I won’t be. My Future Mother-In-Law is lovely, but it isn’t the same vibe as being with my mum and sisters.

My sister did have her Future Mother-In-Law getting ready briefly, but I don’t think they even saw each other! In a twist of fate our parents, and her future in laws only live a five minute drive from each other. We were getting our hair done at our parents and Future Mother-In-Law came over to get her hair done. She left immediately after. My sister’s makeup artist had cancelled last minute, so she ended up having to go somewhere to do the makeup and missed Future Mother-In-Law altogether.

Post # 11
Member
3925 posts
Honey bee

I invited mine out of pressure, and wish I hadn’t. Her and my bratty SIL sat in a corner talking to each other and ignored me the whole time. Couldn’t even give me a kind compliment when I put my dress on. If you aren’t close with her, you don’t have to include her, and I don’t think it’s something that is customary anyway. 

Post # 12
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

My mother and Mother-In-Law have had issues in the past so we did our best to keep them apart. We purposefully planned that my husband would get ready with his family so my Mother-In-Law had her time with him and didn’t feel left out when I got ready. Luckily, she isn’t the get her hair and makeup done kind of person so it didn’t matter. Doing it this way was really helpful to keep everyone happy and feeling involved but also made us comfortable. 

Post # 13
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I invited my Mother-In-Law to get ready with me, my Maid/Matron of Honor (sister), and my mom but I do not think there is a set rule if you should or not. Completely up to you. I have seen alot of brides not invite their Mother-In-Law. 

Post # 14
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2002

It is up to you what you do, I don’t think it is something that is expected for you to do. Have you talked to your fiance about it and what does he say? My now daughter in law invited me to get ready with the girls and it was very nice and I was happy to be included.

Post # 15
Member
4106 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
@summerbride21:  This is one of those things that is totally dependent on your relationship. There is no hard and fast rule. If you are not comfortable with her being there, she doesn’t need to be there. 

Against my better judgement, I invited my Mother-In-Law to be in the room while we got our hair and makeup done. She showed up and hour and a half past her appointment time and pitched a fit when there was no time for her to get anything done. I honestly wish I just hadn’t invited her and let her fend for herself. 

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