(Closed) Do you judge moms who choose not to breastfeed?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 136
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have not read the entire thread, so maybe someone else has expressed this same sentiment.. I  find it funny that most of the people who judge others for formula feeding believe that formula feeding moms are somehow uneducated on the topic.  I had read a lot of the research before having my daughter. The research convinced me that the negatives of breast feeding outweighed the positives in my case and formula was the way to go.  I say to each her own!

Post # 137
Member
6442 posts
Bee Keeper

I would never judge. Why? I myself had to stop breastfeeding at one month. Why? My supply dried up and I had to supplement from the beginning. Little miss refused to breastfeed at the hospital and had to be given a bottle and my supply didn’t come in until 4 days after birth (so she barely breastfeed in the hospital) and then I had to pump because she refused to eat at the breast after having bottles. So my supply dried up, little miss ate formula and we’re all a happy family. Because than my husband could get up and feed her (when we started solely using formula) and I could catch up on sleep.

Post # 138
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What about the people that breastfeed but then do other terrible, unhealthy things with their children later on? Like smoke around them, or feed them unhealthy foods when they’re older because that’s how the adults in the house eat (aka Here Comes Honey Boo Boo). 

I am not pregnant, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. My mom didn’t breastfeed my sister or I, and I don’t really know what her reasoning was and frankly I don’t care. She is no longer around so I can’t ask, but frankly it was her choice. My sister and I turned out fine.

Either way, there are going to be people who judge you for everything no matter what, but I think it’s crazy to judge women for their personal choices with their own kids. If their kid ends up with some of the repercussions of bottle feeding later on, that’s their problem, not yours. I realize that it’s natural to want the best for any child, but the fact is that breastfeeding is way low on my list of a mother’s choice with their children. There are mothers who drink, smoke, and do drugs while their baby is still in the womb. I’m way more concerned about that than someone who chooses not to breastfeed whatever their reasoning is. It’s completely their choice.

Post # 139
Member
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

mrs.joiner:  Out of curiosity, why did they give her a bottle in the hospital?  Did they do it for you or did you ask for it?  I’m just curious because it is completely normal for milk to come in 3-5 days after birth (mine came in 3 days after) and my hospital policy was to not give any bottles unless you made it clear from the beginning you wanted them started on formula.   

I’m only asking because I’ve heard some hospitals ruining breastfeeding (or making it very problematic) by giving bottles without asking the parents.  Not trying to direct blame at you, I’m just curious if that was your experience or if you asked them to do it (which is completely okay).

Post # 140
Member
11746 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

kes18:  I’m actually shocked by how often I hear hospitals forcing bottles on babies in the hospital because they are too sleepy to eat and are losing weight, which is typical!  I think that just being a doc or nurse in the OB field doesn’t make you educated on breastfeeding, which is why this happens at times. Or, they freak the mom out into thinking she has to give formula.

My daughter was sleepy like every baby is after birth and the nurses were freaking me out about it by saying that if she didn’t eat every two hours that night, they would have to give her formula!  Thankfully, I was educated about breastfeeding beforehand and insisted that they test her blood sugar before they dare attempt to give her a bottle. They did and she was fine and we breastfed away when she would stay awake long enough to eat!  My daughter never ate every 2 hours at night – she was always every 4 hours at night, so I think it’s ridiculous they were trying to follow some “standard” when every baby is different. 

Post # 141
Member
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

MrsWBS:  Yeah, my baby was very sleepy in the hospital!  I tried to wake her every 2-3 hours to eat but it was a real struggle to get her awake to eat so sometimes she went 4 hours by the time I got her awake.  I had the nurse with ice cold hands come in and handle Dear Daughter to wake her up long enough to eat…poor thing lol.  Of course she’s going to be sleepy after that type of traumatic event and then only getting teaspoons of colostrum.

I think supplementing right away is definitely going to harm your milk supply (unless of course baby truly needs supplementation, obviously you have to put baby first).  3-4 days for milk to come in is normal so supplementing just because the milk takes days to come in is pretty much setting breastfeeding up to fail…so I think it’s crazy hospitals aren’t better informed about that stuff.  My baby was born Thursday night and I think Sunday night my milk started to come in, Monday morning is when I was engorged.  Baby lost 7-8% of her birthweight that Monday morning (our first Dr. appt) and had regained it later that week at her weight check.

Post # 142
Member
601 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s disgusting to see women implying that new mothers don’t give a shit about their babies because they choose not to breastfeed. You know what I think is appalling? The babies that die because their mothers are so dead set on the idea that “breast is best” so they’d rather starve their child instead of give them perfectly acceptable formula.

Jesus Christ, mind your own fucking business people. It’s not your kid. They’re not your tits. It’s not your business.

Post # 143
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m currently expecting our first baby, and while I hope that I’ll be able to Boyfriend or Best Friend I’m not going to kill myself if I can’t. With no family close to hand to help out when I’m tired, my main priority will be to keep my baby feed and as happy as possible. If formula is required for that, so be it.

So in short, no – I don’t judge and I think it’s sad that breastfeeding is associated with so much pressure.

 

Post # 144
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

MrsWBS:  

kes18:  Yeah my hospital was very pro breastfeeding and they said every 3 hours and 6 sucks counted. if she didnt suck then i had to try an hour later. At least once a day a breastfeeding consultant met with me and one night nurse helped me tremendously (literally took my boob, took baby and latched). My supply came in after 4 days and everything has been working out well. 

 

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