(Closed) Do you judge people with small e-rings?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Do you ladies with large e-rings pre-judge women with smaller e-rings?

    All the time!

    Never!

    Only if it's a gemstone!

    If it looks fake, I'm all over it!

    On occasion... sad but true.

  • Post # 137
    Member
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I would never judge, or make assumptions about, someone because of the size of their ring.

    For example, my friend & her husband got engaged at 21. My friend & I do the same sort of job; her husband, like my fiancé, is also a professional but they got engaged 3 years before us. Naturally, my friend’s ring is a little bit smaller than mine because she got engaged at a time when they were both students and on low incomes. Socioeconomically, there’s nothing in it between us now but, as we got engaged 3 years later at a time when our disposable income is greater, we were able to afford something a bit bigger. My friends who get engaged 3 years on from us will likely have a bigger ring than me because they will be more stable financially.

    I have quite a small ring to some Bees (0.42 ct) but it’s exactly what I wanted. We could have spent more on a bigger diamond but that is just not where our priorities lie. I have something gorgeous that I’m really proud to wear and I’m comfortable with how much we spent. We made a conscious decision not to spend any more than we did because we want to save towards our first home, the wedding, a honeymoon, etc.

    Some people have smaller rings because they chose to, because they can’t afford any bigger or because they want to put the money towards something else. You don’t know their reasons and therefore how can you possibly judge them in any way? To me, marriage is the most important thing; not a piece of jewellery. A 0.1 ct diamond ring does exactly the same job as a 1 ct one, at the end of the day. As far as I’m concerned: each to their own. If you have the money and love big diamonds, that’s great but if you don’t have the money or don’t like big diamonds, that’s great too.

    I’m more interested in the setting, whether it suits the wearer, the quality of the diamond, how happy the couple is, etc. than the size!

    Post # 138
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @LilRhodyGem:  I don’t judge size at all. If I were given a small diamond I’d be happy because of what the ring symbolises. Big doesn’t mean better 🙂

    Post # 139
    Member
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

    @MrsPanda99:  I beg to differ 🙂

    Come to europe!! My ring is well under a carat although a carat total weight and its been bashed for being too much. Europeans talk about class and understated look and walking around with an ice rink on your finger will be seen as tacky in many peoples eyes.

    Post # 140
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @joya_aspera:  I guess this makes me a flippant, unimaginative, head in the clouds conservative. 

    Post # 141
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think it’s ignorant to assume anything based on a person’s engagement ring choice. 

    Post # 142
    Member
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

    I will admit to judging people though who have a large rock on their finger and have done nothing else with their lives. I really shouldnt, its up to people what they do with their money … but if your rocking 10 carats and never even left you country… its hard for me to understand. 

    Post # 143
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @ImagineDragon24:  +1 ….i totally agree…ignorant.  Some of the most selfish, unpleasant, unhappy, close minded women I’ve met have worn small stones, and some of the most intelligent, giving, creative, passionate women  I’ve met have worn large stones. And vice versa on both.  The size of their center stones had absolutely nothing to do with their personality, values, morals, or financial situation.  I think that it is unfortunate that someone looks at someone’s ring and assumes these things.  If I make a judgement on someone its because of their behavior, not because of their ring.  

    Post # 144
    Hostess
    2683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    No, it’s not something I give any #$%^s about. I rarely notice someone’s ring unless it’s really unique. I just don’t really care at all. I didn’t have an engagement ring, but got my sparkly on my wedding day (hence making it a wedding ring) and have gotten a few random smug comments about that from strangers. But whatever. I didn’t marry those whackjobs for a reason. haha

    Post # 145
    Member
    2585 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i love all things that sparkle..big or small! Some people have no filter..I’ve had a few people be judgey about my ring…the lady that used to do my nails said to me” your fiancé must really love you” and there was a bee who no longer is active on this site that Said” your fiancé must do well for himself What does he do for a living?” Rude IMO If you want to judge fine…please do it behind my back though.

    Post # 146
    Member
    880 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We’re talking about random assumptions, so I usually think ‘smart’ and also happy for that person, esp as they didn’t let any hang ups on needing a large ring interfere w being engaged n happy w a beautiful ring! Of course an assumption n the little stories in my head may not apply to their lives! I do truly like both big n small rings! Also sometimes I think understated rings make the person look cool like they don’t care about all that.

    Post # 147
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I’m super into jewelry, but I’m surprised everyone here can tell how big a stone is just by looking at it in a ring.  The cut/setting/wearer can make such a difference in how big or small a stone looks.  

    I don’t judge.  If a ring is loved, it suits the wearer.  

    Post # 148
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I never cared about anyone else’s ring. at first I thought I wanted a champagne diamond! One of my friends has a green raw diamond that has a major imperfection; but her ring is stunning and it is an exact reflection of who she is. I think that’s the most important. Diff people want diff things.

    really who cares about size? The size of your ring is not what’s going to make your marriage happy or prevent divorces. judging another persons ring bc of the size just displays your own insecurity. 

    Post # 149
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee

    I don’t have my ering yet but I know exactly what I will pick out. We will get a 1 carat equivalent moissanite stone. Honestly, if we could have gotten an e ring for $2 we would have. I definitely do not judge others. Perhaps they want a smaller stone, perhaps they decided to put that money into more important things, such as their children, a house, a car, their family etc…

    Post # 151
    Member
    1229 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I don’t judge!  I remember when my mom “upgraded” from a plain band to a set that had a 1/4 carat diamond and I thought it was huge!  My set from my first marriage was 1/3 carat center stone and my current set has a stone that is 3/4 carat.  We live within our means and I’m happy with the set I have.  Smile

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