(Closed) Do you judge people with small e-rings?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Do you ladies with large e-rings pre-judge women with smaller e-rings?

    All the time!


    Only if it's a gemstone!

    If it looks fake, I'm all over it!

    On occasion... sad but true.

  • Post # 107
    4945 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I’ll notice the size, whatever it is, but I’m more likely to “judge” the shape and style than anything else. 

    Post # 108
    5397 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @MrsSnowMountain:  If they really want to express their opinions on privilege and unfair distribution of wealth, they should give a portion of their income away when they’re attorneys. Lol ๐Ÿ˜‰

    View original reply
    @echomomm:  prior to looking at rings and moving into the stage of being soon-to-be engaged, I can’t say I ever noticed women’s rings. Now that I’m more aware and interested, it’s just one of many things I notice about someone’s appearance. So overall, I agree with you!

    Post # 109
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    I voted ‘never’ because I know everyone’s style and budget is different.


    The only time I ‘kind of’ judged, it was when my SIL got engaged. I didn’t judge her, I was a little disappointed her Fiance didn’t get her a larger ring. 


    I haven’t said anything because once i thought about it i remembered he’s been married previously and has two kids to look after. Plus, I have no idea if this is exactly what she wants! It is a lovely design though, and she’s really happy with it ๐Ÿ™‚


    Post # 110
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    no i never judge girls on the size of their ring. in fact, a ring was just a ring to me before i got engaged and went on the bee… the i found out about diamonds, moissanites etc,.,..

    Post # 111
    140 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply


    I agree with this wholeheartedly !!  As much as most people like to  have a ring that is “classic” most Erings do reflect the decade or half-decade of the time in which the bride was engaged.  I love talking to friends and relatives about their rings, whatever their size, to find out the history as each tells a story. 

    My ring is a High clarity and cut radiant cut 0.8 halo in platinum.  In Australia, that is considered large and I have small hands. 

    One thing that bothers me on this thread is the assumption that quite a few people are making that in order to have a larger ring, couples have gone into debt or been unwise in their finances.  My Fiance and I are a first-time engaged older couple and he has already paid off his house and is a good saver.  He wanted to give me a “large”, top quality diamond because he’d waited so long to meet the right woman.  I don’t judge others for wearing smaller E rings and have a plain wedding ring planned to wear alone, so that when I do my community-based work each week, I won’t be judged either.

    Post # 112
    803 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t judge people for having smaller rings at all as all of my engaged/married friends at the moment have smaller rings and they’re all awesome people with beautiful rings, but it does make me look at my (quite large) ring again and feel grateful for it.

    Post # 113
    7973 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Interesting topic. I suspect that you may get different answers in different countries. For example, I’ve never known anyone where I am judge someone for having a small ring… but I’ve known then to be judged for having a large ring. I suspect that in the US, where large and expensive rings are more the norm, the reverse may be true.

    It also depends on how you define “large”. I think 0.6 carat and up is large, but I suspect that many US bees wouldn’t think that! For example, I have a RHR which is around a one carat sapphire, and everyone here thinks it is a “huge rock”!

    Post # 114
    4649 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Probably terrible but I don’t even notice other people’s rings if they don’t put them all up in my face. If they do, I react mostly to how they present it. If they’re unhappy, I might judge in response. If they’re happy and excited, the thought wouldn’t even occur to me. (My own much-beloved ring is a smallish black diamond.)

    Post # 115
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    When I see a small-ish diamond ring, I always applaud the couple for their lack of materialism and ostentatiousness.

    Post # 116
    12 posts
    • Wedding: August 2014

    No – I think that sometimes smaller sized stones suit better to petite hands anyway. I don’t judge the size of e-rings but sometimes, shamefully, I will compare mine (style-wise) to others because I am stupidly in love with mine (1920s diamond and peridot). But honestly, each to their own: e-rings symbolise the same thing anyway, whatever size/colour/cost. Yay to all of us! ๐Ÿ™‚


    Post # 117
    2552 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My ring has a smallish stone compared to others so if I was to judge then Id be judging myself!! I think ring size should not be judged because it could be preference or suitability. I’ve got quite small hands so a big ring would look out of place. 

    Post # 118
    1222 posts
    Bumble bee

    There is one person I would judge, and it’s not even her, it’s her SO. I’m a close friend of both of them, and he has told me he’s starting to save up a little for her ring after six years. He said his budget is around $250, probably less, since he’s a college kid without a job at the moment. Fine, I understand being a broke college kid, and it’s the thought that counts. I promised to help him keep an eye out for good deals on Etsy and Ebay and help him figure out what she likes. But according to her, he’s saving up for a PlayStation 4, which is double his budget for an engagement ring. I didn’t say anything to her, but I plan on talking to him. Maybe he’s telling her he’s saving for a PS4 to surprise her, but if not, I would judge him for spending more money on a game system that will probably be replaced in less than five years than on a ring that his future wife will hopefully wear for the rest of her life. Even if they plan on upgrading, that seems to me that he’s putting a game system before their relationship, since he’s been telling her for at least 3 years he wishes he had the money to propose. 

    Post # 119
    1217 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I found myself noticing rings all the freakin’ time right before I got engaged, but now I don’t really notice. I have a small ring but I wouldn’t judge anyone else’s, it’s none of my business.

    Post # 120
    7362 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    No, I judge style not size. Like that $23k ring , that was sold at a garage sale, to me looked horrible. Yet, there are other styles of 3c rings that are stunning. Same goes for smaller rings.  I don’t know what motivation is behind a ring and can’t say that I typically care.


    Post # 121
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @BlondeMissMolly:  Haha yes that is totally legit! Knowing these girls, they definitely will. ๐Ÿ™‚ As will I, once I am actually employed and not a grad student living under the poverty line myself :/ Although, I think volunteering might in many cases be more useful than donations.

    @ForeverBirds: Interesting point you bring up. Normally, I don’t buy the argument that an engagement rin should be some big financial sacrifice. In that sense, I don’t care if my Fiance buygs things for himself that our more expensive. (he does all the time, since the ring we both picked was $85 lol). But, I woulf care if he was purchasing those things all the time in a non-financially responsible way, and/or if he was using that as an excuse to put off proposing. But then I probably wouldn’t be around this hypothetical guy anyway ๐Ÿ˜‰


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