(Closed) Do you kick Non-RSVP guests outside of the reception room if there is no room?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do you do with guests who did not RSVP
    Make accommodation for all you invited regardless of RSVP number : (33 votes)
    42 %
    Do not make accommodation for those who did not - that will teach them : (21 votes)
    27 %
    Make some form of accommodation- such as such persons having to sit outside : (25 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    At that point you have to do what you can to make them comfortable, even if they were initially the rude ones by not RSVP’ing.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think I have seen that episode… and the number of guests that had to move was shocking!  I’m not sure all of the guests would have fit in that venue even if they HAD RSVP’ed… and that (to me) is a big issue – I don’t understand why someone sends out more invitations than she is able to host.  I get equally annoyed when an airline has intentionally overbooked a flight.  In both cases “they” are counting on no-shows to make something they did wrong turn out ok.

    BUT… that’s no excuse, if you’ve invited the people, they are your guests.  (Yes, they should have let you know they were coming… but you probably should have followed up when you didn’t hear one way or the other!)  Your guests deserve to be treated as though you WANT them to be at your wedding (or other event)… because presumably you do, or else why did you invite them??

    So yes, absolutely, accomodate all invited guests that show up, RSVP or not… and don’t do it by treating them like second class citizens who need to be segregated because you’re annoyed with them.

    Post # 6
    Member
    10287 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I threatened to do this to our guests who didn’t RSVP (certain family members who were just being dicks about the whole thing) but we ended up making room for them. I couldn’t imagine kicking someone out of my reception when I did invite them even if they couldn’t have the decency to reply. 

    I went to a wedding a few years ago where the couple had 70 people show up who didn’t reply. SEVENTY! The venue ended up setting up tables on the dance floor and added chairs to the opposite side of the BP’s head table so that they could cram in more people. That wedding was a complete and utter fail anyway so this was just one of the things that lead to it being the “worst wedding ever”. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    97 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @islandbabes:  Oh I know the espisode you are talking about! I couldn’t believe all those people showed up without replying.

    Honestly I don’t know what I’d do. I think it is exceptionally rude to show up to an event you have not RSVP’d for. I  plan on contacting each guest who doesn’t RSVP to get there response. I’m tempted to get my FBIL’s to man the door and “greet” the guests at the reception. Both of them would make great bouncers and would know exactly what to say to turn guests away 😉

    Post # 9
    Member
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I saw that episode!  And while it seemed really awful at the time, it was a TON of people, and I know that at our wedding we simply would not have had the extra chairs, tables or the extra meals to feed that many (our venue could hold more people, but we had rented chairs, linens, etc based on the RSVPs).  Which is why I was a crazy stickler following-up on every single RSVP, I am always surprised (a few posts today in fact) by how many people aren’t picking up their phones the day the RSVP deadline has passed!

    Post # 10
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you should try and accomidate them best you can, like squeeze in a chair or two. But if you are at capacity and cant do anything, then I guess they have to sit outside or leave! Its aweful but its happens. Some venues are super strickt about fire codes so even if your 1 or 2 people over, then will make you remove someone.

    I used to work for a catering company, and the venue held 300 people. The absolute max was 350. And since it was a small town, parties and events got checked on a lot. A couple times we had to quickly throw up a table in under a minute to accomidate non-rsvpers. We ran out of food another time because the bride told us 75 and 125 showed up, (and that was alot of tables to throw up). One wedding they were at 350 and about 10 more people who didnt rsvp showed up, we told the bride (well they were easy to notice because they were the only ones not sitting). And they got asked to leave. I felt bad for them, but rules are rules!

    Post # 12
    Member
    13067 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Rudeness should not beget rudeness.  By not accomodating them, you’re no better than they are by not responding.  You did, after all, invite them in the first place.  

    Plus, you should just call people and follow up with the missing RSVPs.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1401 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @UpstateCait:  I went to a wedding and that hapoened as well. 35 people showed up who didn’t rsvp! I rsvp’d and didn’t have a seat. (There was no seating chart) So we had to wait for the venue to set up more seats. They haappened to be on the dancefloor so when it came time fir the dances we lost our seats. My solution is to have a seating chart and if you didn’t rsvp you may not be able to attend. I know that sounds bad but that’s how it’s going to be. And I’m sure my fiance feels the same way.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @islandbabes:  I had someone at the door with a list that had those who did RSVP and those who did not RSVP. The ones who did not RSVP I actually wrote down the date and tme we tried to contact them to get answer. Those who RSVPed were seated first. Then those who didn’t were let in.

    Post # 15
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @LuvMySailor:  I like it!

    I’m going to be tracking people down, I have a feeling….

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