Post # 1
I had my bachelorette party on Saturday which was awesome. It was really low key and fun. I had told the girls I didn’t want anything super crazy like carrying around a giant inflatable penis or doing anything I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling Fiance about (scavenger hunts for phone numbers, sexy photos etc). BUT one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man (who I’ve known pretty much my whole life and knew my request) whipped out this board with names of all kinds of guys I had dated going back to high school through to flings and serious relationships. THEN she whips out these stickers with labels like “Biggest [email protected]”, “Taught Bakerella the most in bed”, etc and says I have to label each guy and then give a story about it. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor. I was so uncomfortable with it. I sort of played along but tried to schluff it off. I don’t feel comfortable talking about flings and how big they were (I can’t even remember!!!!!). Oh my god.
THEN we’re at a coffee shop later before dinner and she pulls out this baggie of questions which included “Is Bakerella loud in bed?”, “What’s Bakerella’s favourite sex toy?”, “How many partners has Bakerella had?” (complete with multiple choice), “What’s the most amount of times she’s done it in a night?”. I was mortified. Not only am I with my sister, but we’re in a VERY busy coffee shop. I’m so not okay with this!!!! Am I the only person who doesn’t kiss and tell?! Am I a total prude here or would anyone else have been embarassed?! I’m completely terrifed of her giving a speech at the wedding now. I don’t understand why she wanted to have all these raunchy conversations when I clearly said I didn’t want to, and it’s not like we’ve ever even had conversations like that before!!!!
The topper was when we went to dinner and she wanted to put her board of exes (complete with their labels) on the table. We were at a pretty nice and very busy restaurant. I made her put it away. Again, totally mortified. It sort of ruined the day for me. The whole bachelorette party situation was a complete disaster to start with, so when this happened it was…. awful. Ugh.
Post # 3
I am shuddering in embarrassment right now just thinking about this. I would have been completely mortified if this had happened to me – I guess that makes me a prude also!
I hope she has more sense than to say anything anywhere nearly that inappropriate at the wedding.
Post # 4
Yeeah I wouldn’t be comfortable with that at all. My idea of a bachelorette party is getting dressed up and hanging out with all my female friends at afternoon tea (Or something equally hyper feminine) lol. I definitely wouldn’t want it to be all about sex!
Post # 5
some people dont mind this, but she should have respected your wishes. I personally dont kiss a tell, i believe certain things should stay just between two ppl, so i dont think you’re a prude at all.
Post # 6
I don’t kiss and tell, but I don’t mind talking about sex in general and swapping stories with my girlfriends. I think it’s pretty standard to push the boundaries a little bit during a bachelorette, but what your Bridesmaid or Best Man did was way too far. Obviously if the bride is too mortified to have a good time then you’ve failed. 🙁
Post # 7
Okay so I’m not crazy. Thank you. Don’t get me wrong, I still had fun, but I had a lot of awkward moments too… Maybe in time I’ll look back on this and laugh…
Post # 8
I voted other.
The way I see it, if I want to share the down and dirty about the down and dirty with my girls, that’s one thing. I don’t, however, want to make a board game out of it.
Post # 9
First – I saw your boudoir pictures (which were GORG!) so I officially say no, you’re not a prude, you’re a brave beautiful woman!
I would not want to be discussing my past history with a bunch of people right before I was about to get married – and if I found out my Fiance had been doing this at his bachelor party, I’d have been livid. We all have history but the past is the past for a reason. It sounds to me like you handled this fairly awkward situation with a lot of grace and class considering how classless the Bridesmaid or Best Man acted.
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2010 - University of Toronto Faculty Club
Uh…gross. I also would not personally be okay with this. I don’t really have conversations with my friends or sisters about stuff like that and I definitely wouldn’t be interested in spending my bachelorette talking about all these exes. I’m so sorry it wasn’t the type of party you wanted.
Post # 11
I definitely am not comfortable with kissing and telling– I never have been. I kind of feel like, for me at least, blabbing about it later totally cheapens the intimacy of it. My FH is the same way, so it’s nice to have something that is just between us and that no one gets details about.
And I don’t even like to think about my ex’s, let alone talk about them and our sexual history. Gross.
Post # 12
@helenberrycrunch: LOL! That’s exactly it! It was like a boardgame, that’s hilarious!!!
@christalynn11: Thanks so much! I guess when you’re right, if I was brave enough to do boudoir and then post them online I’m not such a prude 😉 Fiance and I have always respected each other’s past and haven’t really talked about it since it’s inconsequential to our relationship together. I think we both agree that what happened in the past is what makes us who we are today, so what’s the point in spilling our guts and getting upset about who was with how many people, etc. There’s no changing the past and we’re each thankful for what got us to where we are today. That being said, if I don’t want to share it (or haven’t felt the need to share it) with Fiance, I don’t really want to share it with 6 other girls and a really packed coffee shop either… I think she got really caught up in “Bachelorette Party” mentality and sort of lost her marbles. I’m not going to hold it against her but I’m certainly weirded out by it…
Post # 13
@knitting: The rest of the party was fine. It just seemed like a party of things that other people wanted to do. But to explain that would require a longer and unrelated story. Sigh. In any case, it was nice to spend time with my girls despite some uncomfortable situations. Talking about the exes was semi-embarassing, but the whole extremely personal questions on the coffee shop were was seriously mortified me. I mean, I wouldn’t want to talk about most of that in my livingroom never mind in the middle of a coffee shop. And I really do the the middle, we weren’t tucked into the corner. And I was wearing a veil, we were already drawing attention to ourselves…
Post # 14
@bakerella: Exactly. Two words. Booty Shot. 🙂 As one curvy girl to another, those inspired me! Don’t let this one part of what sounds like an otherwise decent party get to you. I would have been peeved but your girl sounded like she DID kind of lose her marbles. I’m throwing a bachelorette for another bride next weekend and doing some really fun, silly favors for it (typical penis suckers and straws, mini packs of lube, etc) but those are for everyone, not just the bachelorette. And frankly, I bet most of us will use em! I also flat out asked her – how far is too far and what would honestly embarrass you in an uncomfortable (not just fun loving) way.
I really feel like it is important to respect the bride. It’s sad that she didn’t do that but also sad that no one stopped her from doing what she did before it happened in the first place. If she were my friend I would have shut her down PRONTO with that idea!
Post # 15
I have nightmares of scenarios like this. You are absolutely sensible to be mortified! I am too afraid to have a bachelorette party for this reason. I sympathize entirely and hope you are still friends with the girl who, as Christalynn put it, lost her marbles.
Post # 16
We had two bachelorette parties. One was at Dave & Buster’s (restaurant with arcade games). One was at a Korean bathhouse. Neither of them included discussions of our past sex lives. Having the main entertainment being mortifying the bride just sounds kind of immature.