(Closed) Do you know anyone who seems to be perpetually single?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, one of my BFFs has been single for the entire time I’ve known her (13 years).  We are 31.  She is beautiful, smart, funny, athletic, recently went back to school and changed careers… I don’t understand why she’s still single.  She hasn’t been in a serious relationship during the past 13 years, and had a couple of short-lived things with guys who were serious a**holes.  I think that’s part of the problem… she is attracted to these guys who are literally not good people.  She’s seemed to come out of that a little and is considering Match, but it’s so frustrating.  She’s having a hard time right now because not only is everyone married or getting married, our friends are starting to have babies.

 

 

 

Post # 48
Member
5184 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MrsTillerResq:  One of my best friends is 34 and has never had a girlfriend. He’s not exactly a looker but he’s a really nice guy. Idk what to say to him about it, but when the 3 of us hang out together we go out of our way to not make him feel like the third wheel. 

Post # 49
Member
1376 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was single until my mid-20s. I had dated a bit but no relationship where we called each other boyfriend/girlfriend. During college, it was because I didn’t want a relationship-too many options to want to settle down with just one person. After college, I did want a relationship, but I’m shy and picky and my life was in flux and I just didn’t know how to make it happen. I tried internet dating briefly but hated it because it felt so forced.

I also was never the kind of person who wanted a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. I wasn’t going to make the commitment and sacrifice of having a BF if I wasn’t able to at least envision marrying him in the future. Of course, once I met the right person, a relationship didn’t feel like a sacrifice at all, despite our logistically complicated living situation. Maybe some of your perpetually single people have some of that going on.

Post # 50
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

A friend/co-worker is 31, and the longest relationship I’ve known him to be in over the past six years lasted two months. He’s a very sweet, funny, loving guy, but I think tries to “please” too much, which is what bugged his last girlfriend. And he has to constantly talk about his relationship with everyone, so that could be part of the reason. He is also on the bigger side, which I think causes him to think he isn’t good enough at times.

I’m sure he’ll find someone someday, but he appears content for now. He’s always on the lookout though!

Post # 51
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2007

@MrsTillerResq:  Honestly, I don’t have advice. Dating is HARD, but especially once you reach a certain age and most people are coupled off already. 

 

DH met me when he was 29, and his younger brother is 25 and has yet to be in a serious relationship. I was DH’s first real relationship.

 

Just encourage them to not give up (unless they want to be single, in which case, rock on!)- love comes unexpectedly, and most men now wait until their late 20s/early 30s before seriously looking for someone to be with for the rest of their lives.

 

Post # 52
Member
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

One of my closest girlfriends (she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in our wedding) feels she’ll be single forever. She’s the only one in our group of friends without a boyfriend/husband. She was in a long term (8 yrs) relationship and when that ended I think it really crushed her and has affected her to this day. She’s had several boyfriends since, but they’re all short term and eventually fizzle out. She’s gorgeous, hilarous, has a good job, her own house.. I don’t know why she can’t find Mr. Right. I hope she does one day, she deserves it so much! I’ve even set her up with 2 of my husband’s friends.. they went out a few times, but it wasn’t meant to be. I did notice in her last relationship she was a bit on the needy/clingy side.. maybe that scares guys off.. or the fact that she wants to be married & start a family sooner rather than later, she’s approaching 30.. so I think it’s normal to feel that way! I always feel guilty when all us girls are together gabbing about our guys.. I hope one day she finds her prince charming!

Post # 53
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

@MrsTillerResq:  I was perpetually single until I was 30, when I met my husband. my aunt was single until she was about 39. 

I wouldn’t worry about your older and younger brother. if they say they’re happy, then leave it alone. it’s really annoying when people act like you’re supposed to be in a relationship if you are perfectly content single. 

as for the middle brother, well, he might find somebody someday. lots of people meet their SO late in life. but again, it’s really up to him. give him advice if he wants it, but leave him alone if he doesn’t bring it up.

Post # 54
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think, rather than thinking in terms of being “single” (as opposed to in a relationship), some people are just as they are, as opposed to being with someone else. Not everyone is meant for a relationship. I know a few people, male and female, who are really happy just doing their own thing. They get flack for it all the time, but it’s a non-issue for them.

I do feel bad for the people who want to meet someone and it doesn’t seem to happen. 🙁 I believe that God puts in our lives the people we need, when we need them – not necessarily when we *want* them, which is the difference. If you are meant to be with someone, you will be. It’s just not always on your time.

Post # 55
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A good friend of mine is like that. We met freshman year of college and immediately became friends. She is good looking, smart, hardworking, good body, intelligent, takes great care of herself. She is practically perfect for any guy…. Except for she has never dated in her life. All four years of college, she was so desperate to find a boyfriend, but was never able to find one. Now, she is in her late twenties, with a masters degree and a good stable job and yet she is single, although she was in love a few times but it was never mutual. I can’t find anything in her that would scare the guys away, but apparently there is something men don’t see or find attractive in her. I guess it must be her personality?! Who knows!

Post # 56
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sounds like you are describing me before I met my SO!  I had been in 4 more serious relationships that lasted around 6 months, otherwise shorter ones and dated here and there, but that was the extent and I was nearly 31 when I met him.  None of my friends could understand why I had such a hard time meeting a good man.

I also know it concerned my SO that I hadn’t had a long-term relationship when we started out, but it wasn’t a matter of me being a commitment phobe or not wanting a longer relationship, it just seemed to be that I would figure out that a guy was NOT for me around the 6 month mark. 

Your brothers need to keep focused on their own lives, keeping busy, improving themselves, etc.  They will meet the right woman when the time is right!

Post # 57
Member
6665 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@kmb727:  Lololol +1! My thought exactly!

Post # 58
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@housebee: 

I am in love with this story and these pictures. Oh my!

Post # 59
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If they associate happiness with being married they’re already on the wrong track.  One must be truly happy with oneself before they can really be happy in a relationship.   

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