- 5 years ago
I guess this is sort of a rant, but I’m also genuinely curious as to who else has gone through/is going through this type of thing with a friend (or possibly family member).
I’ve been best friends with “M” for almost ten years. She’s a great girl–beautiful, funny, has an awesome family. She’s also one of those girls who goes from one long term relationship instantly to the next…she dated her first Boyfriend or Best Friend from 7th grade until freshman year of college, started an ’emotional affair’ with “P”, and broke up with her Boyfriend or Best Friend to be with P. They’ve now been together for 3 years.
P is generally a good guy, but I’ve always felt just not good for M. They’re different in every way, and not in the ‘opposites attract’ type way….more like she loves lots of attention and affection and he hates affection (he self-proclaimed that he hates kissing!) so it frequently leaves her feeling needy…she’s very romantic and loves to talk about the future and they’ve had several fights now because she talks in an assuming way (WHEN we live together, WHEN we get engaged) and he always cuts her off and says he doesn’t like to talk in certainty about the future, and anyway he’s not looking to get married until he’s about 35, and that hurts her feelings…generally, he’s just a very independent spirit and will go 12 hours without texting her and she gets upset about that……the list could go on and on. Their relationship got so bad last year (he was always pulling away, not giving her any attention) that she cheated on him twice in a six month period…one make out with a guy, and one full on emotional affair with another…P never found out about these.
I know all of this kind of makes M sound like a bad person, but she’s really not…in all seriousness, I just think she needs some time alone to find herself. And it makes me nervous….Im worried that hes either going to break her heart, or they’re going to end up getting married one day and it’ll end in divorce, and she’ll have wasted all this time with him.
During their worst times when she comes to me talking about their problems I have gently tried to talk to her about this, and the weird thing is, she somewhat agrees that they aren’t the best match…yet they always make up and she’s constantly posting facebook statuses about the ‘love of her life’ and how amazing their relationship is…
I’m sure there are plenty of Bees out there who have been through something really similar. I once talked to a girl at my old job who said the wedding she had been in the previous year as the Maid/Matron of Honor, she knew that the marriage wouldn’t last, as she stood on the altar and watched them take their vows…ouch…..and 8 months later, the couple filed for divorce.