Do you let your SO know when you have PMS/your period?

posted 2 years ago in Wellness
Post # 31
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

I don’t really announce it but he knows because I don’t like having sex on my period. When he “makes an inquiry” I’ll reply “Nope, I’m on my period.”

He is also good at picking up the necessities. He has been known to show up at CVS with an empty tampon box and ask “Excuse me, where can I find these same tampons?” 😂

Post # 32
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee

My husband knows the date it’s usually due, so no surprises if he wants to get it on and I say nope!

Post # 33
Member
1918 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

Thankfully I don’t have issues with my period they are very regular and last 3 days. My husband has known when I’m on my period since we got married, before marriage that was something that we didn’t discuss.

Post # 34
Member
2185 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Your friend sounds like a misogynist. If her husband is having prostrate issues does she scold him for having “weak male problems”?

Post # 35
Member
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I can’t imagine not being able to tell my H stuff like that. Trust me, H knows when I am PMSing (starts two weeks before). But besides that I do tell him when I start just so he knows. And then we have sex anyway because period sex feels really amazing.

Post # 36
Member
3896 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

Hubby sometimes realizes I’m PMSing before I do. I think it’s silly to approach it the way your friend does, but to each their own! 

Post # 37
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee

We call it “Shark Week” in my house!  

And I’m totoally transparent about it as well as my PMS.  I appreciate my SO knowing because I can occasionally spiral into a bloated mess of self loathing when my favorite pants are too tight, and my SO can gently remind me that it’s PMS and they’ll fit in a few days.  

Post # 38
Member
2723 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t often get PMS, but when I do I usually tell my husband. I’m an unapologetic feminist killjoy, but if I’m going to be moody and snippy I want him to know it’s not because of him. I can hide it well at work etc. but he’s my husband and best friend – he can see the death glare hiding behind my attempts to remain cool. 

He actually thought that PMS was just a fake sexist thing that men made up to judge women so he was really confused the first time I told him I was PMSing (when I started crying due to bad traffic.. sealed). He’d never belittle my feelings or ask ‘are you on your period?’ in the middle of an argument, so I have no problem being open with him about it. 

Post # 39
Member
377 posts
Helper bee

I let him know just so he can be aware we can’t have sex for the next few days. We then go about life like its any other day. I feel like as a woman you have been getting your period for years and at this point there is no reason why you should be bed bound for 5 days every month in self pity. Period symptoms can be managed if one knows how to (not binge eating sweets, light exercise, lots of water all help with cramps and bloating) 

Post # 40
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

I couldn’t imagine not telling the fiance. Whining and complaining are my strong suit, so I’m not really gonna miss that oppruintunity. 

That being said I don’t get much special treatment during that time. 

View original reply
jojumore :  

Everyone’s menstruation is different. It’s best not to assume one’s experience is universal. Most symptoms for most people are manageable–and plenty aren’t for plenty of people. 

 

Post # 41
Member
7633 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
fluffhead :  great point re: periods. It really is different for everyone. I’ve always been blessed with easy periods, but one of my closest friends still has to call out for work sometimes because hers are so painful. Like writhing on the floor with cramps, literally throwing up painful. I’ve never experienced anything remotely like that but I’m certainly not gonna  sit here and tell another woman that her symptoms are “manageable” so she better buck up. How is that feminist?

Post # 42
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
jojumore :  ummmm you should just be thankful you don’t have endometriosis or some other terrible condition, rather than judging those who do. Some women literally have their uterus or ovaries removed because it’s so bad. 

Post # 43
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

Although I don’t agree with your friend, I still think she has a unique perspective. 

There’s no way that my Fiance would be able to avoid knowing about my “special” days because I suffer from regular migraines during that time. The headaches are so debilitating at times, I can’t even cry because the pain is so intense and crying will make it worse. All I can do is lay in a dark room with water and ice. So, my Fiance definitely knows what’s going on, does not think it’s gross or weird. He just lets me rest for a day or two without bothering me too much. During those days, he only bothers me to ask about food or water (which, most of the time, I feel nauseous from the pain so, I don’t really feel like eating). It’s just unavoidable for us. 

I do not feel weak though… I think men have their own issues and we have ours. Not everything has to be a battle of the sexes. 

Post # 44
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

My period is rarely bad enough to slow me down, but I still give him a heads up anyway. I feel it’s the polite thing to do, considering all the bears (and other apex predators) I could accidentally attract that week. 

Post # 45
Member
9397 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

He knows when my period is coming because that means no sex for a few days. I don’t get any PMS-y symptoms, but if I did, it’d be even more important for him to know — just like I’d want to know if he was going through a painful/difficult few days.

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