(Closed) Do you like being a bridesmaid?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

Nope… my best friend and I call being a bridesmaid being the bridesb*tch… cause thats what it really is! lol

Post # 5
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Haha, I’ve only done it once, but I honestly loved it! I loved feeling like VIP at the wedding, even though I was in a horrific hot pink dress. But honestly, it was so great planning my BF’s bachelorette party, going to the rehearsal dinner, and just generally being there for her at such an important time in her life.

Granted, she was not a bridezilla AT ALL (aside from the pink dress), so maybe my opinion would change if I were a bridesmaid for someone else . . . 

Post # 6
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m not sure how I felt. My Sister’s wedding was thrown together in 2 months, so her IL’s did everything. I just had to buy my dress, show up, and stand there. lol.

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i don’t really like it. just b/c of all the work you have to do and all the money you have to spend and all the time you have to put into it. i don’t know if i’ll ever have to do it again, other than be moh for my sister eventually, which is even more work/money/time. but worth it for her b/c she was an amazing moh for me.

Post # 8
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m a bridesmaid for the second time now, and enjoy it MUCH more this time.  First time it was for a family member who I’m not umm…the most fond of?  She was very bridezilla-ish, so it was uncomfortable, as there were many uncomfortable public situations.  (Her yelling at people, uncomfortable interactions with friends of the new family, etc).

I’m currently a bridesmaid for my best friend, and I have to say this time around I’m having a lot of fun.  It probably has to do with the fact that she is SO not a bridezilla, is totally excited and having fun with the planning rather than freaking out, and really seems to enjoy doing the planning and appreciates my input.  Plus, I’m lucky to have her bending over backwards to help me plan for my wedding. 

So I have to say, it seems like it’s fun assuming you really enjoy the person whose getting marired.  πŸ™‚  It helps though that I don’t feel taken advantage of…

Post # 9
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes and no.  I like being part of the couple’s special day, but it does take a lot of time and money to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man for my cousin’s wedding in October, and I live out of state.  Luckily she has no problem with my not going to shower or bachlorette party.  (I’m still contributing financially.)  I’m in law school and live on a fixed income, and 3 flights home just for wedding stuff was wayyyy out of budget.  She said she’d rather have me in the wedding and just show up the day of than have someone else who would show up to everything. (Aww.)  I don’t mind being a Bridesmaid or Best Man for someone so understanding and laid-back as that.  Bridezillas, um, not to so much.

Post # 10
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’ve been a bridesmaid twice.  First was fine. Second…I didn’t want to, but had no real option (brother’s wedding).  She sent out an email with extremely laid-back expectations so I figured it wouldn’t be too bad.  She told us where she was getting her hair and makeup done, but that we all had great style and she totally trusted us to do whatever we wanted for hair and makeup, and that we could wear any shoes that were “comfortable and reasonably priced.”  We had several events to travel for, but we were told her parents would reserve and pay for hotel rooms (to share) for the wedding.  I felt much better about all of it.  IF only that were true.  Three weeks before the wedding, I received a call that I hadn’t booked a hotel room.  Turns out, there are 12 bridesmaids so “we can’t afford it.” (I didn’t have a problem paying except that I was told I wouldn’t have to so I hadn’t budgeted it.) Then the week of the wedding, my brother calls me to say he heard I hadn’t made a hair appointment.  I told him that SIL said she was fine with whatever we wanted to do.  He was totally insistent that she was upset.  So I called her, and she was totally passive-aggressive about it but did say that it was up to me, and since the place she wanted wasn’t cheap, and I already had to pay $400 for the hotel I hadn’t budgeted, I did my own.  I wore cute strappy sandals that were comfortable that I already owned, and because the dresses were long, you could barely see them.  Well, despite spending three hours with her fully dressed up before the wedding, she waits until 15 minutes before the wedding to tell my mother to tell me that my shoes were unacceptable.  She didn’t think they were dressy enough (at least 2 others had similar shoes).  She had arranged transportation from her aunts house where we did pictures prior, so I didn’t have a car, and the hotel was 15 minutes away.  For pictures after the ceremony, I was forced to borrow someone’s shoes that were 2 sizes too small.  I was so irritated that despite making such a big deal out of it, my shoes didn’t show up in any of the 1300 wedding pictures.  She made several comments how we couldn’t do things because of so many bridesmaids- well, whose choice was that? Bridesmaid gifts were serving platters, because “When there are twelve bridesmaids, everything costs a lot.”  Three weeks later, I found the platters at Value city for $3.99.

I treated my bridesmaids like Virginia- I specified long dress, non-strapless (I doubt any of them would have chosen this anyway) and color.  One got her dress off ebay for $26!  After verifying that they all had appropriate silver shoes, I asked them to wear them.  I let them decide hair, makeup, and jewelry. They all looked great!  Our head table included all their dates, and I think everyone had fun.

Post # 11
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Depends on the bride…and the other bridesmaids.  Seriously…if 3 out of 4 of your bridesmaids are already married WHY would you have a head table and have their husbands sit alone with no one else they know. Dumb dumb dumb and inconsiderate.  But I don’t mind everything else.

Post # 12
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

LOL very interesting insight into the situation from the BM’s side!  I’ve only been a Bridesmaid or Best Man once, and was invited because my Fiance was the best man, even though I didn’t know the bride that well.  She wasn’t a bridezilla at all.  I wasn’t in charge of any showers or parties, so I only spent $125 for my dress and $55 for my hair.  I can see how it would get expensive for a Bridesmaid or Best Man if she needs to host showers and bacchelorette parties though, and I can just imagine the frustration of a bride who expects certain things but doesn’t communicate them to the BM’s.

Post # 13
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have been in a few weddings, and I agree that it can be fun. It is also expensive, stressful, and time consuming. I decided not to have bridesmaids for this very reason; I want my friends to have fun and not stress at my wedding!

Post # 14
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Personally, I think it’s an honor to be a bridesmaid.  But it definitely can get expensive and time-consuming.  But in the end, I love standing by my friends’ sides as they take their marriage vows… it’s so special (and I always cry).  Thankfully, I’ve never had to deal with bridezillas and the whole Bridesmaid or Best Man process has always been very drama-free and fun. 

Post # 15
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve only done it once, but it was a lot of fun. There weren’t a lot of expectations or work placed on us, though. Just the wedding and a bachelorette weekend which was neither required nor restricted to the wedding party – we sent out an invite to all our friends who weren’t going to the bachelor party the same weekend. I think the head table thing is a big deal. I haven’t ever been at a wedding where the wedding party is separated from their SO’s, but I’ve heard horror stories of people being stuck alone for the whole reception. It really depends on the bride, though… I don’t think I could do it for someone who was really intent on a lot of events, everyone looking picture-perfect, etc.

Post # 16
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I’m the maid of honor for my sisters wedding and I’ve never been a part of anyone’s wedding so going into the whole process I was SUPER stressed and had NO CLUE of what to do! But it’s been a couple of months and I’ve been planning her damask themed bridal shower, in my opinion, I’m doing a great job πŸ™‚ Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to toot my own horn but for being a 16 year old teenager planning an elegant, damask themed bridal shower I think I’m doing a hell of a job. Plus I’ve been busting my butt waitressing so I can pay for the bridal shower so I think I get bragging rights just a litttle bit πŸ˜‰

My sisters wedding is in July and she’s been planning her wedding since last August and SURPRISINGLY she has been VERY CALM and she’s been enjoying the whole process, but I know when it comes to her wedding day she’ll be freaking out and her true bridezilla will come out but it’s okay, she’s my older sister and I love her to death so I’ll take it for her with a smile on my face πŸ™‚

So in conclusion, I like being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, or in my case a Maid/Matron of Honor, but I don’t think I’d go through all of this for anyone else who wasn’t super important to me (like my best friend or older sister).

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