(Closed) Do you like children?

posted 5 years ago in No Kids
Post # 91
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee

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whitepeony :  For millennia–MILLENNIA–motherhood has been synonymous with proper womanhood.  Motherhood is still arguably the primary lens through which women are forced to justify and analyze themselves, either because they are performing the role or because they have rejected the role.

I assure you, no one decides to reject the role that thousands of years worth of structures, institutions, and culture tell her is the “correct” one without giving it a lot of f***ing thought.

And, as 

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RayKay :  so beautifully said one does not need an excuse from the universe to get out of the obligation of having children.  Children are not an assignment that a woman needs to produce by a deadline so that she can avoid an “F” in Womanhood 101.

Post # 92
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I thought I wanted children but lately I can’t stand to be around them. I don’t know if im just having a lot of bad experiences with them lately in public places (there was a kid at the movies last weekend that bounced up and down next to me chatting through the entire picture….) or if I actually all of a sudden dislike them. I wonder if it’s possible to dislike children but still love your own kids? The poop doesn’t bother me but the noise…. I don’t understand how parents can sit through the freaking noise! Anyway it’s s little disconcerting because not having them wasn’t something I considered before this year… This board has been hunter eating and I’ve enjoyed all your perspectives! 

Post # 93
Member
7571 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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Post # 94
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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Post # 95
Member
4811 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

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charlllpop :  There is also research to show the more educated a woman is, the less likely she is to have children. Childfree couples generally are also more often likely to both be more highly educated, be employed in professional/management positions, etc.

Post # 96
Member
4811 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

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j_jaye :  Or it becomes pity about how you will never know the joy of grandchildren! I truly feel bad for the children of these bingo’ers who may determine themselves to be childfree, or who may not even be given the freedom and opportunity to decide due to the pressure and judgment. I have never had such judgment from my own parents (because they see me as an independent person free to make my own life choices, and not a means to them having grandchildren) but I have seen other childfree women and men be judged and pressured by their own families, including mothers, and it becomes a very divisive in those families. 

Post # 99
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee

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mrswhitecat :  Holy shit. This^^—DEFINITELY this. Thank you!

Post # 100
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I am the youngest of my cousins by over a decade (so I’ve never been around kids in my family) and I’ve never been able to stand children for more than a few minutes. Typically, I like older children above the ages of 2 or 3 the most. Yesterday I met with a friend who was babysitting three kids all under the ages of 1.5 years old. Sticky hands, clammy skin, screaming, falling all over me – it wasn’t my cup of tea. It was a great birth control refresher and reminder of why I have an IUD 🙂

Post # 101
Member
5528 posts
Bee Keeper

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RayKay :  I never get the whole grandchildren bingo… Like, I don’t want my own children, I don’t like children, so why would people think I’m ‘missing out’ on grandchildren? If anything, definitely not ever having grandchildren is yet another bonus of us being CFBC… 

Post # 102
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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RayKay :  
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gogglefruits :  
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MarriedToMyWork :  What really confuses me is that justagirlfirst feels “just not wanting children” is a better reason than hating children. To me it sounds like not having a clear reason is better than having a definable reason – which doesn’t make sense in my mind.

Post # 103
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hate is a strong word to use when talking about children, because we were all children once. It implies you should have also hated yourself as a child. We were never dogs, cats or bunny rabbits. Not being interested in children, not enjoying spending time with them, not wanting them, etc etc, are all perfectly understandable and fine and something totally different to using the word “hate”.

CFBC bees, please don’t take this contribution to this thread as an insult to anyone. I am merely offering an opinion. 

Post # 104
Member
4811 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

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barbie86 :  Oh I agree! I actually know a few grandparents who are primary caregivers for their grandchildren or have children who expect them to want to be super-involved (meanwhile they want to be off enjoying their empty nest years), so that whole “all the joy, none of the work” does not seem to bear true, either!

Given that the older I get, the less I have liked being around children, I don’t know why anyone thinks that argument would appeal to me!

Post # 105
Member
4811 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

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amanda3334455 :  Well, no, it does not imply that. Children do not have the same self-awareness as adults do (or should). They may not feel positive about themselves, lots of children don’t, but they are likely not sitting there thinking “I hate myself because I have all these childish behaviours”. 

I would never go up to a child and say I hate them, and I can be empathetic towards them, but I sure can spout of all the reasons I dislike them as a group to open-minded adults who don’t police my word usage.

But, I did not particularly like children as a child either. Or being one. If I could time travel and run into child me, I imagine I would not much like child me either.

 

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