Post # 1
Is it important to you whether you like them or your family likes FI?
I am close to my family and it was important that they really like my future husband. It was also huge for me to like his family, probably because I am so close to mine.
Well, luck be our lady, because my fam loves him and I have been blessed with beyond wonderful Future In-Laws. His mother and I truly connect and his sisters are more like fun aunts.
So, for those of you who do not get along with FIL’s (whcih I have read a lot about!)
Does it bother you at all? Do you even care? Is he close to them?
I am just curious to know about the other side of the coin and I enjoy knowing about others and their stories.
Such a great, diverse group of Bees on here!!
Post # 3
We get along fine with each other’s families. It was very important to both of us, because we are family oriented.
Post # 4
It bothered us both when we first started dating because the FIL’s and I hated each other. We just didn’t see eye to eye. But now that they know me, and know that Fiance and I are in it forever we have become a lot closer!
Post # 5
It’s important to me that my parents like Fiance and we can be a family with them. Not as important for Future In-Laws to like me, but would be nice. One big downside of being close to both families is the competition that results over the couple. Who do you spend more time with? Who do you settle down next to? If both families live close to each other I’m sure it’s not as much of an issue, but for us, it’s definitely a looming question of where we’re going to raise a family. In that situation, it’s great that we’re closer to my parents because there’s no big conflicts over it.
Post # 6
I’m so lucky – I feel like I am a part of his family, and they treat me as such. It wasn’t always that way, though, it took about two or three years.
Post # 7
I feel like I made out like a bandit with my Future In-Laws. They’re awesome, fun to hang out with, and have welcomed me into their home and family with open arms since day one of our relationship. I mean, I’m talking like, they invited me along with Fiance to spend a week in a lavish St. Maarten resort with them less than a year into the relationship. I love my family but I feel bad about how much I prefer spending holidays with Future In-Laws, the reason being that they DRINK! I never knew how much fun Thanksgiving could be!
My family, on the other hand, was very hesitant to warm up to Fiance simply because they’re old-fashioned and felt that it wasn’t appropriate to be too friendly with him until we were married. At least I think that was the logic, it didn’t make any sense to me either. Mostly I think they were drawing on their experience from their own relationship, wherein they started dating in early high school and my mom’s parents pretty much behaved as though they were praying every night that my dad would die in a car crash. My dad was a couple years older than my mom, so his intentions were not regarded as the most honorable. So things were very formal between both sets of my grandparents and my parents up until they finally finished college and got married. I think that history helped make my parents feel that it’s appropriate to act the way they did toward Fiance. Things are better now that we are engaged of course, and Fiance spent Christmas at our house and it was just fine. Fiance and my parents are all three introverts so it is pretty easy for them to all get along by just sitting around not talking to each other. Everyone wins.
Post # 8
It’s very important to me that my family likes Fiance and his family likes me. Luckily, that is the situation at present moment. His family still holds him on a pedestal (as they should!), but they clearly care about me and like me a lot. My family really likes him a lot and are very happy we are getting married. If one of our families didn’t like me or him, I would be worried to be honest. I make a huge effort to respect his family and be open to everything that’s important to them. I hope that keeps me on their good side!
Post # 9
My FIL’s are absolutely wonderful. My family has been really great with him too. It was important to me that not only my dad and my closest uncle approve, but also my two closest cousins because they’re all important men in my life. The few people we don’t like in each other’s families are the ones that the other person doesn’t really care for anyway.
Post # 10
I stepped in poop with my FIL’s. Seriously, they’re both so awesome. I know I lucked out.
My parents are a lot older – Dad’s cool as all get out and Mom’s well… if anyone out there has ever seen the show Keeping Up Appearances on the BBC & knows who Hyacinth Bucket is… you’ve basically met my mother. She even looks like the actress in the show. LOL I’m also the only girl in my whole family (3bros, 8 cousins, all dudes) and they’re a little over protective. They’ve gotten to know Fiance a lot better and now that we’re in for the long haul together, it’s all good but it was a rocky start.
My brothers used to joke because I swear if I brought Jesus home my Mom would be like, “Doesn’t he ever shave?”
Post # 11
Yes they’re amazing! I don’t totally agree with their parenting style and wish they were a little more strict with Fiance and his education… but they are amazing great hearted people. They’ve always been more welcoming then they need to be and I’m actually really excited the house we put on offer on is only like 5 min away and the only turn is into their neighborhood 🙂
Post # 12
@GirlWithARing, you bring up good points! I went to college 2 hours away from my hometown and currently still live here. I found a job after graduation and met C a year later. He’s from around here, so it’s really nice that I was already established and my parents understood that. Plus, I am from a SUPER rural town, and I’m not sure that I can give up my sushi and awesome groceries that AREN’T Walmart, which has a monopoly over my hometown 🙁
@lilyfaith, was there any specific thing that happened that made you closer to them, or was it just time? That’s great for you though 🙂
Post # 13
Very important to both FH and me. Fh has it a bit harder than I do because I am the youngest of 5 as well as the only one not married and without children. This wedding is very bittersweet for my family as this is the last big family hurrah on our side. All of my brothers and sisters nieces and nephews adore FH, it couldn’t be better!!!
For me its easier. FH has one sister that is 10 yrs younger than him and 7 yrs younger than me. She and I are almost closer than them – its fun. I haven’t ever had a younger sibling per se. His parents are also wonderful – I can’t wait to be part of their family.
So, yes it was both important to us and yes both of our families adore each other – our parents even get along quite well, haahaahaa
Post # 14
We are all very lucky bc we love eachothers family!! I feel very blessed that we all get along so well!
Post # 15
I love my FIL’s! His mum has really looked after me since I moved here and his sis is more of a friend than a FSIL!
Post # 16
I definitely like them, but Fiance and I have our issues with his family and mine. Well, his dad and my stepdad. His mom is AWE.SOME. As are his sisters and both of their husbands. But he has always had issues with his dad, and I have the same issues, and we just aren’t close to him. So, I’m not close to Future Father-In-Law, but it’s not a problem for us because Fiance wasn’t hoping I would be, know what I mean? As for my parents, they love Fiance and he certainly loves them, though he’s not a huge fan of my stepdad, because he thinks my stepdad is not all that nice to me (arguably true…I’m not a huge fan of stepdad either). Biggest thing is that Fiance and I are a team, and it feels great to know that we feel the same about certain members of our families…because then we can deal with problems together.