(Closed) Do You Like Your FILs or Not?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

We get along fine with each other’s families. It was very important to both of us, because we are family oriented.

Post # 4
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It bothered us both when we first started dating because the FIL’s and I hated each other. We just didn’t see eye to eye. But now that they know me, and know that Fiance and I are in it forever we have become a lot closer!

Post # 5
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

It’s important to me that my parents like Fiance and we can be a family with them. Not as important for Future In-Laws to like me, but would be nice. One big downside of being close to both families is the competition that results over the couple. Who do you spend more time with? Who do you settle down next to? If both families live close to each other I’m sure it’s not as much of an issue, but for us, it’s definitely a looming question of where we’re going to raise a family. In that situation, it’s great that we’re closer to my parents because there’s no big conflicts over it. 

Post # 6
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m so lucky – I feel like I am a part of his family, and they treat me as such. It wasn’t always that way, though, it took about two or three years. 

Post # 7
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I feel like I made out like a bandit with my Future In-Laws. They’re awesome, fun to hang out with, and have welcomed me into their home and family with open arms since day one of our relationship. I mean, I’m talking like, they invited me along with Fiance to spend a week in a lavish St. Maarten resort with them less than a year into the relationship. I love my family but I feel bad about how much I prefer spending holidays with Future In-Laws, the reason being that they DRINK! I never knew how much fun Thanksgiving could be!

My family, on the other hand, was very hesitant to warm up to Fiance simply because they’re old-fashioned and felt that it wasn’t appropriate to be too friendly with him until we were married. At least I think that was the logic, it didn’t make any sense to me either. Mostly I think they were drawing on their experience from their own relationship, wherein they started dating in early high school and my mom’s parents pretty much behaved as though they were praying every night that my dad would die in a car crash. My dad was a couple years older than my mom, so his intentions were not regarded as the most honorable. So things were very formal between both sets of my grandparents and my parents up until they finally finished college and got married. I think that history helped make my parents feel that it’s appropriate to act the way they did toward Fiance. Things are better now that we are engaged of course, and Fiance spent Christmas at our house and it was just fine. Fiance and my parents are all three introverts so it is pretty easy for them to all get along by just sitting around not talking to each other. Everyone wins.

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s very important to me that my family likes Fiance and his family likes me. Luckily, that is the situation at present moment. His family still holds him on a pedestal (as they should!), but they clearly care about me and like me a lot. My family really likes him a lot and are very happy we are getting married. If one of our families didn’t like me or him, I would be worried to be honest. I make a huge effort to respect his family and be open to everything that’s important to them. I hope that keeps me on their good side!

Post # 9
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My FIL’s are absolutely wonderful. My family has been really great with him too. It was important to me that not only my dad and my closest uncle approve, but also my two closest cousins because they’re all important men in my life. The few people we don’t like in each other’s families are the ones that the other person doesn’t really care for anyway.

Post # 10
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I stepped in poop with my FIL’s. Seriously, they’re both so awesome. I know I lucked out.

My parents are a lot older – Dad’s cool as all get out and Mom’s well… if anyone out there has ever seen the show Keeping Up Appearances on the BBC & knows who Hyacinth Bucket is… you’ve basically met my mother. She even looks like the actress in the show. LOL  I’m also the only girl in my whole family (3bros, 8 cousins, all dudes) and they’re a little over protective. They’ve gotten to know Fiance a lot better and now that we’re in for the long haul together, it’s all good but it was a rocky start.

My brothers used to joke because I swear if I brought Jesus home my Mom would be like, “Doesn’t he ever shave?”

Post # 11
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes they’re amazing! I don’t totally agree with their parenting style and wish they were a little more strict with Fiance and his education… but they are amazing great hearted people. They’ve always been more welcoming then they need to be and I’m actually really excited the house we put on offer on is only like 5 min away and the only turn is into their neighborhood 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Very important to both FH and me.  Fh has it a bit harder than I do because I am the youngest of 5 as well as the only one not married and without children. This wedding is very bittersweet for my family as this is the last big family hurrah on our side. All of my brothers and sisters nieces and nephews adore FH, it couldn’t be better!!!

For me its easier.  FH has one sister that is 10 yrs younger than him and 7 yrs younger than me. She and I are almost closer than them – its fun. I haven’t ever had a younger sibling per se. His parents are also wonderful – I can’t wait to be part of their family.

So, yes it was both important to us and yes both of our families adore each other – our parents even get along quite well, haahaahaa Laughing

Post # 14
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We are all very lucky bc we love eachothers family!!  I feel very blessed that we all get along so well!

Post # 15
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I love my FIL’s! His mum has really looked after me since I moved here and his sis is more of a friend than a FSIL!

Post # 16
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I definitely like them, but Fiance and I have our issues with his family and mine.  Well, his dad and my stepdad.  His mom is AWE.SOME.  As are his sisters and both of their husbands.  But he has always had issues with his dad, and I have the same issues, and we just aren’t close to him.  So, I’m not close to Future Father-In-Law, but it’s not a problem for us because Fiance wasn’t hoping I would be, know what I mean?  As for my parents, they love Fiance and he certainly loves them, though he’s not a huge fan of my stepdad, because he thinks my stepdad is not all that nice to me (arguably true…I’m not a huge fan of stepdad either).  Biggest thing is that Fiance and I are a team, and it feels great to know that we feel the same about certain members of our families…because then we can deal with problems together.

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