(Closed) Do you look through your partner's phone?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

In the past I did, but that is because my boyfriend lost my trust. It never ended in positive results when I peeked at his phone. After 2 incidents, I agreed to never go through it again. He promised me he would change as well. So if I am curious, I will just ask and he shows me his phone. That was 2 years ago. I have not gone through his phone since, and he has never been sketchy about hiding his phone either. Just talk to them about it. Relationships will never work without trust.

Post # 62
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
jennessey85:  It’s one thing to ask if I look at my Fiance number and another if to ask if I trust my Fiance. I look through his phone (and he has a right to mine) because he sometimes forgets to respond to people or tell me information like to parties and stuff. I know he’s forgetful. But if another girl asks him to go out, I trust him 100%. He works in childhood education so he’s the only straight male in his whole department so he always has co-workers asking him to go out and it’s never been anything inappropriate.  I have no jealousy/trust issues and neither does he. 

Post # 63
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

No I find that it’s an invasion of his privacy.  I have never been so insecure to a point of phone inspection and he has never been that insecure as well.  

 

Post # 64
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Yes I do. And my friends and I must be psychos because we all do it in my circle. 🙂 Not obsessively but we have shared stories and discoveries. 

Sometimes it’s to look at his pictures (he’s a pilot so he takes pretty neat pics), sometimes it’s to use his internet because his phone is closer, sometimes I read stuff for him, sometimes it’s because I might feel insecure (pms time). 

We don’t have anything locked or whatever. Everything is out in the open (laptops, iPads, iPhones). He picks my stuff up too and he might go through mine as well, I don’t know but don’t care.

 

Post # 65
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee

Yup, regularly. And he does mine. Our phones are totally interchangable – we use whichever one is closer. If he gets a text while I’m on his phone, I’ll read it, and then yell to him “XXX just texted you and said XXX.” We both have locks on our phone, that the other one knows (mainly just a protection in case one of our phones gets lost). We have a totally open relationship and trust each other implicitly, so there’s nothing to hide.

Sometimes I’ve even read his texts out of sheer boredom. The last time this happened he was taking FOREVER getting ready to go out to dinner, so I opened his texts and started reading. He asked me what I was doing and I told him straight up “reading your text messages.” He said “oh” and laughed. It was no big deal. 

He’s the same way with my phone. 

Post # 67
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

TBH… I snoop his browser history on his phone SPECIFICALLY for engagement ring websites 😉 but conversations/emails/other history, couldn’t care less and I trust him completely.

Post # 69
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee

No. I don’t. 

would I use his phone if I needed to, yes. But I wouldn’t go snooping. 

And if I caught him going through mine I would go mad!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by DaisyBlossom.
Post # 70
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey

My SO’s phone is not some “private space” that I’m prohibited from. I read his messages out loud for him, I search for things on his phone if I want to, I have access to his passwords and accounts. There really is nothing to hide. 

Post # 71
Member
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t snoop through it but if he gets a text while I’m closer to his phone I’ll read it out for him and sometimes respond for him (either ask him what he wants me to text or if it’s a question I know the answer to I just respond). He does the same with my phone. 

I would never pick up his phone and start reading through his messages and snooping around though. There’s no need to because I trust him.

Post # 72
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

Nope. He gave me his password and he has mine. This is so we can call each other’s phones if we can’t find our own. I know he has nothing to hide. If some random girl starts texting him, I ask about it and he tells me. 

It’s called trust, and it’s an essential part of all relationships.

Post # 73
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I have done in the past and it is never good. I will never do it with my current love. I think what it comes down to is: What is he doing to make you feel like you need to check? (it can be very subtle but very detructive)

You deserve be with someone who makes you feel like you can trust him. I hated the fact my exes made me feel all suspicious and snoopy, I forgot that I am actually not like that at all and it was their behaviour (my gut was right, they were cheating)

I feel terrible for snooping and am not trying to justify my behaviour but I do believe in a healthy relationship you wont even feel the inkling. 🙂

Post # 74
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Never had a reason to feel like I needed to. We trust each other, his phone is there and available if I ever wanted to but I have no desire.

Post # 75
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

Nope. I know all his passwords too because he voluntarily told me. I don’t even consider it. I trust him entirely.

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