(Closed) Do you look through your partner's phone?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 91
Member
401 posts
Helper bee

No, we don’t. We have each other’s passwords and have worked out of each other’s emails and phones before. I figure as long as we both know how to get into each other’s stuff, there’s no reason to suspect each other. 

Post # 92
Member
15 posts
Newbee

no, i don’t, and i do not want him to have my password and i would be really disappointes if he would go through my phone.

i want him to respect my privacy,as i respect his. for example, i have very personal text messages from my best friend about some of her problems and i wouldnt want that my Fiance knows about them, unless my best friend wants to.

i would never ever cheat on him but i really need my privacy and some boundaries,even in a relationship/marriage.

Post # 93
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Only if I need to get something off his 1Password app (e.g. his Kaiser Medical Record Number) or look up contacts that only he has (e.g. his family’s addresses for baby shower invites). I would never think to snoop through his emails or text messages or anything. 

Post # 94
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

with every other man, I did. With my fiance, I have had his phone for hours on end while he was in surgery and was not even tempted to look, though I have his password (we both know each other’s passwords in case something ever happens)

It is so refreshing being with someone who gives me no reason to doubt him.I am at peace with him. 

Post # 95
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I go on his phone all the time. Usually for apps or to play games cause he has a 6 plus and my phone (the 6) is just so much smaller. It’s no big deal. He goes on my phone when I’m on his and looks around in there, reads texts and emails. Neither of us cares and neither of us is hiding anything. 

Post # 96
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

No, we know each other’s passwords for things and passcodes on the phones and there is no reason for me to not trust him (and vice versa.) In two previous relationships I did, then again both of those relationships did not work out for various reasons. 

Post # 97
Member
3058 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Sometimes.  I like to try his game apps. If I happen to see his text messages on accident, so be it!  😉

Post # 98
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee

No, my ex was very controlling and refused to let me use a password on mine, and would go through my text when I was asleep. So my current BF knows this and we agreed from Day 1, no shared passwords or accounts, and we’d not look at each other’s phones. If he’s on his phone and I accidentally look at the screen, I’ll let him know. If he wants to look over at my computer while I’m using it, he asks first. And the other way around. We trust each other, and feel that having boundaries important. I do have a sealed “To be opened in emergency” envelope with my password information in my personal safe at home, in case something happens to me.

For what it’s worth, we’ve been together a while, and I’ve actually relaxed my privacy settings on my phone and computer A LOT. I was really freaked out about it when I moved in, but he was super understanding.

Post # 99
Member
912 posts
Busy bee

He forgets to text/call people back ALL the time, so yes I look on his phone every few days to see if he needs to reply to someone haha- I would say 7/10 times there is someone he forgot to respond to. He doesn’t care, and its not “snooping”- he can be on my phone all he wants, sometimes he does when his phone is dead and vice versa. We have nothing to hide, and nothing private that we don’t already know about each other.

Post # 100
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

Definitely not. It’s an invasion of privacy and I trust him to not be hiding anything. We know each other’s passwords in case there’s some sort of emergency but we’ve never used them. 

Post # 101
Member
743 posts
Busy bee

I consider it a huge invasion of privacy. We don’t have any of each other’s passwords and we don’t use each other’s accounts (computer/phone/email). I’ve made it very clear to him that if he ever went through my phone (or any other account of mine) I would consider it grounds for divorce, and I would expect him to react the same way. I have zero tolerance for violations of trust. Our personal lives are our own.

Post # 102
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I have never looked threw FI’s phone and have never felt the need.  I learned the lesson a long time ago if I feel the need to snoop then I better start a conversation with the SO instead.  Communication will get you so much farther the sneaking around and bottling up your feelings. 

Post # 103
Member
274 posts
Helper bee

Yes I do because he has nothing to hide and it’s not like  i am inspecting him. I just like reading his messages. He is free to do the same but he hasn’t so far. Maybe he doesn’t find my phone interesting. 

Post # 104
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
jennessey85:  yeah. We both are comfortable with each other looking through phones, we have nothing to hide. 

Post # 105
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Miami

View original reply
jennessey85:  No I don’t. And I wouldn’t want him looking through mine either. Not that I have anyhting to hide regarding talking to other people. But sometimes I Google weird things that I don’t want to explain lol I believe you’re still entilted to some privacy in a relationship.

Plus we both have fingerprint locks on our phones.

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