Do you make your fiancé/husband's lunch?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you make your spouse'a lunch?
    Yes, all the time. : (94 votes)
    26 %
    No way! This is the 21st century. : (83 votes)
    23 %
    Sometimes, if I have time or it is a special day. : (84 votes)
    23 %
    They make mine. : (30 votes)
    8 %
    They buy their lunch. : (39 votes)
    11 %
    Other : (29 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 166
    Member
    2813 posts
    Sugar bee

    rosydelight :   But if he makes money, why impose your own penny-pinching ways on him? Why can’t a grown working adult buy lunch if he wants to?

    Post # 167
    Member
    14925 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    rosydelight :  I with you.  He is more than happy to buy lunch, ,and sometimes moans and groans at leftovers, but I “make him” take it cause it’s cheaper than buying lunch everyday!  We can more than afford to buy lunch, but why “waste” money buying lunch when there’s a cheaper super easy alternative.

    solnishko1186 :  I was someone that said I do it to save money too.  To me, yes, he could buy lunch everyday if he really wanted to.  I maybe pack us a lunch about 50% of the time and if he’s not fighting my penny pinching ways, then why waste the money.  Yes he makes money too, but it’s not “his” money in our household.  It’s *our* money.  Him being wasteful is *us* being wasteful and, *I* dont like to be wasteful.  Maybe if we had seprate accounts, this would be different and he could spend “his” money on lunch if that’s what he wanted to do, but we don’t work like that.  

    Post # 168
    Member
    2813 posts
    Sugar bee

    pinkshoes :  

    You seem to be a little sensitive on the subject. And bringing past irrelevant posts with personal information to the table is just petty. It’s your household, you can pack an adult man lunches all you want so he has self restraint not to spend it. In your post you said you “make” him take leftovers through his moaning about it- sounds very mothering to me.

    Post # 169
    Member
    2398 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    steny03 :  I didn’t realize this was some sort of traditional “task”. Any more than performing sex acts. That whole thing is really weird to me. Go for it. Obviously doesn’t impact me. But if you think it makes you some sort of “better” wife, you may be a bit delusional. (My husband would be appalled to learn our sex life was a “task” to be performed.)

    Post # 170
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee

    I make my bf breakfast every morning (nothing special, just fried eggs on bread) and I also make his weekly lunches for work. Usually he has either meatloaf or mashed potatoes or lately a salad. It takes a little bit of time on Sunday or Monday, but then he’s all set for the week. He buys all the groceries and rarely cooks, but I don’t mind. He’s not picky so I’m basically the kitchen boss. I also make dinner every night for the two of us.

    Post # 171
    Member
    793 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Wedgewood Las Vegas

    jannigirl :  Not really sure where you’re coming from or what your issue is.  Making a lunch, or cooking a meal is a task by the very definition of the word. Why is that a bad thing?. What else would you call it? I simply enjoy cooking and baking. On the Bee, cooking/baking is considered a ‘traditional’ women’s chore, and is looked down upon by many.

    I’m also not sure where you thought I implied that my comment of ‘servicing my husband’ was considered a ‘task’ to perform. I simply stated it because I enjoy a good roll in the hay, even after spending the time to cook a large meal. Nothing more. My husband does not expect me to just ‘service’ him as a dutiful ‘task’.

    Sheesh. Apparently my attempt at humor fell VERY flat.

    Post # 172
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee

    One thing that drives me crazy about the bee is the way people throw around “adult” and “grown adult” (or lack of being one) as an insult. I am an “adult” but I am far from fucking perfect, and I doubt any “adult” on this planet is. My partner does our laundry because I am lazy about it and just generally suck at doing it. This does not mean I am not capable of doing my own laundry, I survived many years just fine doing it on my own. So why does it matter if he helps out where I am deficient? That’s the great thing about having a partner — they help balance you out and you can work together as a team to take on the world (or household chores).

    Yes, an adult man can make his own lunch. But if his partner wants to make his lunch because it’s a sweet gesture OR because they know it’ll help him eat a little healther or save them both a little money — who cares?! 

    For the record, in my relationship we each make our own lunches. 

     

    Post # 173
    Member
    14925 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    solnishko1186 :  I’m really not sure how you got to the conclusion that I was super senstive on the topic based on what I said.  I can assure you I couldn’t care less and was simply offering another view point since you still seemed to be fighting it with your last post.   I also think you’re thinking way too much into it and being a little sensitive about your situation if you thought I was bringing up any personal past posts.  I assure you, I was absolutely not doing that.  I was, once again, just explaining my  reasoning for “making him” bring lunch based on your statement here alone. My response was quite generalized as many people do have separate accounts, and I was simply saying that’s now how we are and why your statement here of “if he makes money” doesnt quite apply the same way to me.  My husband also doens’t need any self restraint to not spend money so that statement is pretty funny to me.  He’s actually tried to convince me to making a seprate spending account for him so that he can try to force himself to it cause otherwise, he jsut doens’t really want anything or buy anything.

    Post # 174
    Member
    14925 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I also don’t get all this “mothering” business.  I do the laundry in the household too.  He’s a grown adult that is fully capable, but it’s a task I happen to do, is that mothering him too?   Is making us dinner mothering him?  Should I stop cooking dinner for him and just cook for myself cause he’s a grown man that should be able to make his own dinner?  What is it considered when he mows the lawn or clears the driveway of snow cause I dont want to?  Is that “fathering” me?  This “mothering” thing is so weird to me.  Why is it so one sided that when we do something for them, it’s “mothering”?  Does your partner do nothing for you that you are fully capable of doing?

    Post # 175
    Member
    2813 posts
    Sugar bee

    pinkshoes :  OF course we each do chores other one is fully capable of doing. Making lunch is one thing, but you said you “make him take leftovers as he moans and groans about it” to save money and he wants to buy lunch. That sounds a bit different than simply performing a chore

    Post # 176
    Member
    14925 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    solnishko1186 :  Yeah, he moans and groans about dinner too cause sometimes he doenst like what I make… so of course when he has to take it for lunch, he’s not gonna be happy about it either.  Really, just read it all with a more light hearted chuckle.  If you want to see it as mothering or whatever judgemental way you want, that’s fine.  I’m not really going to be able to or care to describe every aspect of how our relationship works and how “making” him do things isn’t as literal as it sounds.

    Post # 177
    Member
    4237 posts
    Honey bee

    pinkshoes :  Re: the “mothering” business, I think it’s moreso the attitude on here I see from some people who say that they “have to” make their husband’s lunch, do his laundry, make his doctors appointments because if they don’t do it, he won’t- he’ll starve, or have dirty clothes, or never go to the doctor. Makes me want to roll my eyes until they fall out, to be honest. Like, he’s a grown up- I’m pretty sure he would figure it out. I just can’t understand people who think this type of thing is cute or funny. Completely different from doing the cooking because it’s more convenient, or you like it, or it works better for your family or whatever other reasons, IMO.

    (And for the record- I usually cook the dinners and make the lunches although lately he has been taking care of me while I’m sick and tired and pregnant).

    Post # 178
    Member
    493 posts
    Helper bee

    Wow this conversation about lunch got heated fast hahahaha 

    my husband is home earlier from work than me most of the week so he makes dinner. I usaully clean the dishes and pack the leftovers in Tupperware for the next day.  If I am home earlier, usually the reverse happens… although he is the better cook and cleaner… and handy man, basically I’m not good at much around the house hahahahah

    When I was in my earlier 20s I dated a loser for 5 years who was totally babied by his mom growing up and I fell into the trap of making him lunch daily…. usually while he watched sports.  I can’t believe how lame I was! 

    Post # 179
    Member
    1381 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’m pretty into minimizing food waste and getting the most out of each meal. I also like variety in my meals but get annoyed with cooking everyday so batch cooking, portioning our leftovers for lunch, portioning leftovers for freezing etc is how I can achieve that. Hubby would eat and he wouldn’t eat terribly but he cares less, he’s also more ok with eating the same damn thing every day for a week. Getting the most out of every meal is something I did before we lived to together and something I did when he was away for two months for job training so it’s like, well I’m going to do it anyway…if he didn’t like leftovers I wouldn’t push them on him, he’d fend for himself and there would be more for me.

    To add: he comes from a big family where everything gets scarfed up the minute it’s served. I come from a small family and my mom usually cooks waaaaay more than we need. So leftovers are a pretty new concept to him where I grew up and every dinner was a discussion about how to use up the leftovers.

    Post # 180
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2018 - Mexico

    I like to pack my fiancee his lunches because otherwise he will inadvertently work through lunch time and not eat anything at all. Seeing as his favorite lunches are either a salad or what I call “adult lunchables” with gouda, crackers and some salami, it’s really not difficult and he thinks it’s cute and looks forward to it. It’s the least I can do especially since he does most of the legwork with our dinners!

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