Do you make your fiancé/husband's lunch?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you make your spouse'a lunch?
    Yes, all the time. : (94 votes)
    26 %
    No way! This is the 21st century. : (83 votes)
    23 %
    Sometimes, if I have time or it is a special day. : (84 votes)
    23 %
    They make mine. : (30 votes)
    8 %
    They buy their lunch. : (39 votes)
    11 %
    Other : (29 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 181
    Member
    1013 posts
    Bumble bee

    solnishko1186 :  We’re in a relationship….we both “impose” our “endearing” traits on one anothre all the time! That’s what being in a relationship is about. Sometimes we impose on each other and sometimes the other person is open to compromise (like accepting a homemade lunch instead of buying lunch). We are not living completely seperate lives after all.

    Post # 182
    Member
    2813 posts
    Sugar bee

    pinkshoes :  I can only go by what’s info provided here but it sounds that at times he doesn’t like the food you make and moans about that (which I think is rude to criticize someone’s cooking)…and you make him eat what he doesn’t like for dinner and than take it as leftovers for lunch and he moans and groans about both. Why is an adult forced to eat something they don’t like? Why can’t he just buy lunch for himself and have an enjoyable meal? 

    Post # 183
    Member
    166 posts
    Blushing bee

    We alternate. Sometimes I will make his lunch and sometimes he will make mine. Sometimes we each make or buy our own. It all depends. I do most of the cooking when it comes to dinner, but he usually is the one who does the grocery shopping. It really depends on who has the time to do it!

    Post # 184
    Member
    512 posts
    Busy bee

    canhorsegal :  

    Wow, some of these comments are disappointing about gender norms or being an adult…

    To answer your question, yes, I make my husband lunch EVERYDAY because I want to. 

    I am an independent woman who makes twice what my Darling Husband makes and he doesn’t expect me to make him lunch, but I don’t mind and it’s a nice thing to do. It’s usually just packing up leftovers or a PB&J. 

    My Darling Husband does plenty of things for me too. We don’t keep count or tally, but being in a relationship means you help each other out. That is part of sharing a life together. If you don’t help each other with things, what is the point of being in a relationship? You don’t have to make lunch for another, it could be other things…but if you are going to get worked up about the idea of doing something so simple for each other…I just wonder how you approach much bigger tasks or obstacles.

    Post # 185
    Member
    14926 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    solnishko1186 :  Are you just trying to split hairs and be argumentative?  Cause I made it, that’s why.  If I make it, he eats it.   I take care of the food/meals in our house,hold if I make it and pack it, it’s eaten.  If I don’t, he’s free to fend for himself.  He doesnt cook, he could eat cereal breakfast lunch and dinner if it were up to him, it’s actually like his favorite food.  I cannot.  I like a hot meal, I cook enough for the both of us, sometimes with leftovers.  I don’t make him eat a crappy every meal of every day, and *sometimes* he “moans and groans”…. not in a truely complaining way, but a “ah darn, do I have to eat that” in joking kind of way.  Do you really NEVER let out a little complaint in an endearing fashion and then go along with something your husband wants that you dont *really* want to do, but dont really mind either? 

    Post # 186
    Member
    2093 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    We usually make our own breakfast/lunch and make dinner together. 

    Post # 187
    Member
    763 posts
    Busy bee

    Yep – I’m in charge of all food related chores. Cooking, meal planning/grocery shopping, cleaning up after dinner – it’s more important to me and I’m better at it (he’d be happy with takeout or mac and cheese every day). He’s in charge of vacuuming, general cleaning, bathrooms, and laundry. It works for us

    Post # 188
    Member
    995 posts
    Busy bee

    Well I work from home a few days a week and have time to cook breakfast and lunch while I am working. Ill fry eggs in 5 minutes….I will pop a chicken breast in the oven and we split that on a bed of lettuce. Or I heat up leftovers. I would pack his if I needed to when I am not home since I pack mine too but… rarely have to pack his lunch. He fends for himself because he still goes home on my non work at home days. 

     

    I love cooking… especially for him so… why not? There is no old school tradition or meaning behind it otherwise. Like someone else said its my “love language”. Plus he makes TERRIBLE choices without my intervention. 

    And last but not least. I think paying $5 a person for lunch… OR breakfast is plain stupid. I can eat breakfast for 9 cents somedays. Literally. I boil 3 eggs and sometimes we can get them 45cents a dozen at places like aldi. Whereas my cafe at work is minimal $5 a meal (and its not even good)… So I would rather pack his lunch than him go eat fast food or something for $5+ twice a day. 

    Post # 189
    Member
    5951 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’m honestly baffled by the way people seem to view packing lunches differently than making any other meal? As in, it’s okay to make dinner or breakfast- but if you pack your husband a lunch it’s either mothering him or being oppressed or outdated? What am I missing here? 

    Post # 190
    Member
    1366 posts
    Bumble bee

    RobbieAndJuliahaha :  For me the difference is if I make dinner, it’s a meal for both of us to eat together. Packing a lunch is soley for the other persons benefit. I’m not knocking people who make their husband’s lunch, but I think that is where the distinction is coming from.

    Post # 191
    Member
    1569 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I’d say half the time he buys lunch (because he likes the cafe in his office), and half the time I’ll make enough dinner so that he can take leftovers for lunch the next day. I never get up early to make him lunch, however, right now I am unemployed, so if I find a job where I get up at the same time as him then I’d be happy to make his lunch while I am making mine 🙂

    Post # 192
    Member
    7851 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I don’t, but I probably should! I work from home and have a lot more flexbility, while Darling Husband is running around like a madman most days. It would help him out a lot if I took the time to do this. Although he doesn’t really have access to a fridge or anything at work so I dunno how exactly it would work.

    Post # 193
    Member
    2508 posts
    Sugar bee

    RobbieAndJuliahaha :  For me, at least, it’s not so much that packing a lunch is different from making dinner. It’s the mindset that if you don’t pack or make the lunch, your SO will go without or make poor choices.

    I would happily make Fiance lunch if that made sense for us. Because he has a track record of making his own lunch and/or eating nutritiously. So if it was just more convenient for me to do it, or I actually enjoyed doing it, I certainly would.

    But if Fiance was bad about eating junk or spending a bunch of money because he can’t be bothered to take care of himself properly and frugally, I wouldn’t then step in and start making him lunches because I didn’t think he was doing it “correctly” when left to his own devices.

    He cooks dinner for us because he enjoys cooking. And he knows that if he didn’t cook dinner for me, I would make something very healthy for myself. He’s not doing something for me that I wouldn’t otherwise do for myself. 

    And this is just what works best for us. We are both wary of developing that dynamic because we have both fallen into it in previous relationships. So while we are incredibly supportive of each other in every way, we also are careful to maintain a certain level of independence in our respective lives.

    And lunch falls into that category. Usually dinner does not, because you’re eating it together. 

    But obviously, Fiance and I both bring our own pasts and experiences to subjects like this. Other couples, who have different experiences, are likely to come up with different arrangements, and that’s fine too. 

    Post # 194
    Member
    5951 posts
    Bee Keeper

    HoneysHoney :  But I’m making my lunch at the same  time so we’re both eating the lunch- just not together. Haven’t you and your husband eaten dinner at different times/ set some aside for the other person? I just don’t see how this is different. 

    But even if it’s a day I have off and I’m just making his- why does it matter if it’s solely for the other person? Darling Husband and I both do things that are solely for the other person, isn’t that part of the essence of a relationship? 

    duchessgummybunns :  Yes, definitely agree different dynamics work for different couples. And agree with keeping a certain amount of independence in a relationship- lol I just do this in a different way, I like to pack his lunches for him but neither of us bats an eye about hopping on a plane without the other when we have different vaca time 🙂

    Post # 195
    Member
    1285 posts
    Bumble bee

    If I’m putting my lunch in the box then I might put his at the same time. Same thing other way around. Other than that, no way. We are fully functioning adults and I’m not his mother.

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