Do you make your fiancé/husband's lunch?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you make your spouse'a lunch?
    Yes, all the time. : (94 votes)
    26 %
    No way! This is the 21st century. : (83 votes)
    23 %
    Sometimes, if I have time or it is a special day. : (84 votes)
    23 %
    They make mine. : (30 votes)
    8 %
    They buy their lunch. : (39 votes)
    11 %
    Other : (29 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 211
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee

    I ask him if he would like some lunch packed, but he always declines because he has an unpredictable schedule and doesn’t even know if he will have a chance to eat lunch. Anything I pack might just have to be carried around all day and would spoil.

    If he does get a lunch break, he buys something from the hospital or they sometimes give him some for free.

    Less work for me! Also, I’m no cook so whatever he buys is probably better than what I can make for him.

    But I wouldn’t see it as a chore or as some “19th/20th century” thing either. It’s just caring about each other, unless one person demands it.

    Post # 212
    Member
    3036 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    When I was working full time I made all of the meals, including lunches, which were usually two one-pot meals divided into alternating day lunches for us. Like doria M/W/F/Su and curry rice Tu/Th/Su. I enjoy cooking and don’t see it as a chore, though. 

    When I was unemployed/underemployed without a baby during the recession I would cook daily elaborate meals that made all of DH’s coworkers jealous to feel like I was accomplishing something while being rejected during what felt like a never ending job search. 

    Post # 213
    Member
    9159 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    my husband does all the cooking. and he cooks for the week.

    usually he’ll put my lunch in a container for me to take to work. otherwise, i throw it together in the morning.

    Post # 214
    Member
    2171 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I only do if he asks because he’s had a long day and needs to go to sleep before he can get it done. I also will do it if it takes away from his time to spend with our daughter in the evenings because he deserves to spend time with her. I’d say probably 1 day a week I do it for him, otherwise he does it because he knows I have way too much to do every single day when I get home from work too. 

    Post # 215
    Member
    689 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I get free lunch at work, so I don’t pack myself anything. If we have leftovers, I put them in a tupperware for him to have the next day. I also purchase things specifically for him to have at work, snack or lunch type things. String cheese, meat, protein shakes, veggies, etc. If I don’t pack leftovers and he doesn’t want what he has at work, he buys something.

    I do this because I want to, and also because he wanted to eat healthier and asked me for my advice on what he should eat. I do all of the cooking, grocery shopping, and meal planning, so it kind of all goes together. I don’t feel oppressed or disrespected because I’m better at cooking than him, just like he doesn’t feel oppressed or disrespected because I’ve never mowed a lawn in my life so he does that, along with the outside chores. Like others have said, it just works for us, there’s no feminist adjenda or crazy shit reason why, it’s just the way our house works. 

    Post # 216
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Pinkshoes comment is quite striking. If you made your husband dinner & he didn’t like it, but ate it anyway (as he should), WHY are you forcing him to then take said food to lunch for the next day?? Are you also checking your bank account daily to make sure he didn’t in fact grab a $6 lunch and waste *our* money? Knowing he just didn’t care for the meal? Yikes, controlling. Not everyone likes the same food, doesn’t reflect on your cooking. If he ate it the night before, that should be enough.

    With that being said, if I was making lunches for kids then maybe I’d also make my husband lunch. If I was dishing leftovers for myself for lunch, I’d probably dish his too. But on a daily basis when he’s perfectly capable, I don’t find it necessary

    Post # 217
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee

    when he is working I make his lunch every night before bed. I like doing this for him and it gives us more time together when he works long hours since I can make it while he showers. And when he is on days off he makes mine for me and my breakfast and coffee while I get ready in the morning. So I’d say it’s pretty even and I like that we can do that for each other.

    Post # 218
    Member
    4523 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Wow who knew so much could be made of peoples relationships and gender views by such a simple thing as who makes who a sandwich for lunch!!??

    Feminism is about equality and having the choice to decide how one wants to live their life without having to contrive to parameters set by culture and society. The problem these days is that as women we have the choice but we still get judged if we choose a more traditional role or task.

    For example, my sister was very career orientated but had difficulty with conceiving and ended up with her leaving work earlier than planned because of an at risk pregnancy. Her first born had health issues as a baby so she did not return back to work with him. She and her husband went on to have two more children in quick succession so she did not go back to work. They are lucky as my Brother-In-Law earns enough to make this possible. My sister did think of going back but childcare for three kids honestly costs almost the same as what she would earn. The judgement and comments from other women is pretty sad and actually gets her quite upset behind closed doors. She loves her kids and is a great mother…people seem to think she sits in front of the TV watching Dr Phil all day. I’ve been at her house and I’m exhausted just watching it all. She never gets five minutes  alone with three kids under four.

    It actually makes me sad that we have gone from fighting for something so important to fighting  and judging over staying at home or making sandwiches… Feminism is about having choice and supporting others in their choices. I hope that as women we can instill the true meaning of feminism in the next generation of girls because the majority of our generation seem to have forgotten what it really means. 😞

    Post # 219
    Member
    122 posts
    Blushing bee

    I make my fiancé’s lunch in the morning (leftovers or something else) and very much enjoy it. I love taking care of him in that way, and it gives me the chance to stick a cute note in there once in a while. wink

    Sometimes he goes out with the guys and will keep the lunch I made in the office fridge and have it the next day.

    Post # 220
    Member
    2279 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    He brings lettuce, cold cuts, wraps, etc. and makes it at work so there isn’t much for me to do. I buy him the goods to put in the wrap. Does that count? He sometimes buys his lunch too so he is easy. 

    Post # 221
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee

    If I make dinner, I’ll ask if he wants me to put leftovers in a small lunch gladware to bring to work (and then i put a cute note on it). I make dinner at least 1-2x a week and work full time, I don’t even make myself lunch normally so it doesn’t even occur to me to make his. If he ate the same lunches as me, I’d probably offer. Sometimes on a trying to save money kick, he’ll make his own lunches but his office has moved so close to our house that he prefers to go home for lunch usually. 

    Post # 222
    Member
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Well, first of all – I never make him a sandwich. 😉 Hahaha. We’re low-carb in general. So lettuce wraps for us!

    Anyways, yes, I will make him lunches, but it’s more that I feel like I need to have a homemade lunch for work because I gain weight if I eat out every day. Prepping lunch for two is the same as prepping for one.

    Half the time it’s leftovers, so that’s no work at all. The other half of the time it’s a salad with chicken or egg salad over greens, or other simple items like that. 1-2x per week he eats out and about 1x per week I eat out.

    Post # 223
    Member
    863 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2019

    My fiance works from home so he can just grab lunch from the fridge. :-). But even when we both worked outside the home we generally just make dinners and have leftovers for lunch and are each responsible for packing up what we want.

    Post # 224
    Member
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria

    We work together and we make lunch together each evening – either put together some bento boxes or leftovers (or bento boxes with leftovers in them).

    Post # 225
    Member
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2006

    For the most part, i do make him lunch. Well, more like packing left overs for the both of us to take to work. There has been times that i do get up extra early to make us both lunches.  There are many days that he has to just buy lunch, and it makes me feel bad. he gets sick of fast food, and i enjoy cooking and feeding my family much healthier meals. I work full time and i cook dinners from Mon-Fri. the weekends he is our chef.

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