(Closed) Do you need your SO?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you say that you need your SO in your life?
    Yes : (142 votes)
    62 %
    No : (86 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I didn’t get married until my 40s, so I was single for many long years. I know how to do “single.” I’ve done the Thanksgiving dinners with friends, the hobbies and outside interests, traveling with single pals, the clubs and the volunteering. I’ve done it very well, thank you. In fact I would give myself an A+. So no, technically I don’t need my husband to survive from a financial or social standpoint.

    But I voted “yes, I do need him” because my husband is now the center of my world and I wouldn’t want to think about going through life without him.  Now that I know what it’s like to have a loving, secure marriage with a devoted husband, I honestly wouldn’t want to live any other way. I absolutely need him from an emotional standpoint. Like one PP said, just surviving and getting by is not the same as living a real life. I feel that with Darling Husband, I have a real home life now. No more coming home to an empty apartment and the sound of the clock ticking. The thought of losing him — say, due to accident or illness — is scary. 

    I know one of us will eventually end up without the other. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    983 posts
    Busy bee

    @winstonchurchill:  I’m with you 100%.

    I’ve worked way too hard to become content with who I am to just throw that away for a guy. Not that my SO is “just a guy” lol! I love him of course but I make an active choice to be with him. I choose him and I want him but realistically I would be fine without him. I feel like making that choice is more romantic that relying on him completely and defining myself through our relationship.

    Post # 19
    Member
    7430 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Yes, I need him. I don’t think it means we’re somehow weak if we need each other.

    Post # 20
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee

    I absolutely need him.  I agree with what another poster said, I could physically survive without him but that’s not the same as living

    Post # 21
    Member
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I do NOT NEED my FH, but I WANT him in my life. I have finally reached the point in my life where I can take care of myself finacially and it took an awful long time to get to this point. I am also very self-confident and enjoy my own company. So really, I could fuction quite well without FH and have a happy life. But I love him so I WANT to share my life with him.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2250 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I feel like I need him. Our lives are so wrapped up in each other that I cannot imagine not having him with me. Deep down I know that I could go on without him… I’m generally very independent, and I absolutely could survive on my own. I’d still say I need him though, if I had the choice.

     

    Post # 23
    Member
    2515 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yes, I need him. He’s my heart and soul.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1410 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’ve come to the point where I feel like I need my SO. He makes me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I miss him  when one of us is so busy we don’t have a chance to spend any time together. I’ve missed him like crazy the couple of times he’s gone off on business for a week or two. He makes me feel so loved and whole. If something happened to him, I’d be a wreck. I might have to move back home, and I don’t know if I’d ever come back to work in my dream industry. With time, I’d learn how to not need him, but I would always miss him. I’m a pretty logical person, I believe there are a number of people in the world whom, if the timing was right, could make me happy for the rest of our lives together, but it’s hard to imagine life without Fiance. If he were to pass away in 60 years I’d manage okay I think, but right now, I need him, and I don’t know how I’d handle utter heartbreak.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yes, I absolutely do need my husband in my life. Can I survive without him? Yes, I can. I can provide for myself. But life is so much better with him by my side. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I’ve always been independent so it doesnt seem weird to me to not need a SO. I think of marriage as choosing someone that you want to share your life with. You don’t need the person but you both have a more enriched life with eachother.

    Post # 27
    Member
    5006 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I do. And I’m perfectly okay with that. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    475 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    No. I love him of course, he means the world to me. My life is certainly better because of him. But to say I need him as in couldn’t survive without him, no.

    Post # 29
    Member
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

    Yes, I need him. He completes me. I thought I was happy, independant and confident before meeting him, but it wasn’t the case, at least not as much as I thought I was, because I’ve blossomed ever since I’ve been with him, and everybody noticed it in my family and friends. My mom told my best friend how she loved my SO because he helped her daughter becoming the woman (I) wanted to be. I have litterally nothing bad I could say about my SO, even after a year living together and 1.5 years together seeing each other almost 24/7. We never fight. We never get angry at each other. We are a strong team and we help each other. 

     

    He’s my everything, and the most important thing is that I’m his everything, too. We knew right from the start, it felt as if  we were meant to be with each other. What we have is extremely powerful and I wouldn’t change it. Yes, I would survive  and be independant and find my way without SO. But I doubt anyone could make me as happy. The poor man would have to live with being constantly compared to how wonderful my SO is. Before I met him, I had a list in mind of all the criterias I wanted in order to find the perfect man for me. Well, I he fills them all ! I found the man that would make me happy, so in that perspective, yes I need him, to be happy in my life, period. I don’t enjoy nor miss being single. This relationship only brings me good, I really can’t tell anything bad … I try but I can’t. So who would say ”no thanks” to that ? I found him, I keep him !

    Post # 30
    Member
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I need my husband, because he’s the love of my life and the father of my child, not because I’m incapable of being alone. I need him because he’s the man I want to be with. I need him because I want to need him?

    I don’t NEED him in the sense that I will physically perish if I don’t have him. But he’s my guy, my best friend, and my favourite person.. And I need that in my life.

    Post # 31
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I love everyone’s answers.  I agree.  I don’t “need” him to survive.  I can breath on my own, thank you.  I was happy single, but you know what ?  I am happier with my Darling Husband.  After being in a horrible marriage, I now get the meaning of soulmate and having someone complete me, and Darling Husband is it.  I have independence, I do things, he does things.  We miss each other while doing those other things, and are both very happy to come home to each other and just be with each other.  Yes, we are THAT couple, and in no way do I feel bad for saying that.  I am not relying on him for happiness, however, he does enhance and increase the happiness that I do have. 

     

    I don’t get how anyone can say that they can go days without talking to their SO, Darling Husband, Fiance …whomever it may be…for days and be ok with that.  I guess everyone is different, but if you can go days without seeing/communicating with each other (outside of reasons that you cannot talk everyday ie.military), why be in a commited relationship with that person ??  Isn’t that what a relationship/marriage is all about ??  Feeling completed by the other person ?  Having someone to share their day with ?  being your SO sound board ?  best friend ?  ::shrugging my shoulders::

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