(Closed) Do you need your SO?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you say that you need your SO in your life?
    Yes : (142 votes)
    62 %
    No : (86 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    3028 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I am surprised by the responses- and how so few “no” votes are responding…

     

    No, I do not need my husband- I love him and my life would be both difficult and unfufilled without him in it…but I also think that would be temporary.  I don’t believe in soul mates or “one person in the whole universe” thinking, so I do feel like I would probably find someone else over time and if not I would be happy on my own.  I don’t think my happiness soley rests on him and without him I would be some kind of spinster.  The adjustment would be very difficult, but he’s not necessay for my well-being.

    In short he increases my level of happiness, but without him I would still be a happy fulfiled person. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    5373 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Yes. I need him and want him. He’s my best friend and we’re always with each other. I can’t pretend that I would be fine if he wasn’t here anymore. I would definitely feel like a piece of me was gone. I don’t rely on him for happiness, but I wouldn’t be as happy if he wasn’t in my life anymore if that makes sense. I’m okay with needing him.

     

    Post # 49
    Member
    6741 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I need him bc I want him so bad.

    Not to say that if we broke up, I would die without him or that I wouldn’t move on or find someone else. That’s just realistic. But still..

    I want him so hard, my heart hurts even when he’s around because it’s not enough. That’s how badly I need him.

    Post # 50
    Member
    1724 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    This is a difficult question to answer, in that I think it’s often approached from two extremes. I don’t “need” my husband in the sense that I would stay with him no matter what, or that I don’t have boundaries. I don’t “need” him to the extent that I would just stay with him to pay the bills even though he made me miserable. If he left me tomorrow, I truly think I’d survive and thrive and I’d be happy again in the long-run. 

    I want him – because he does meet several of my needs. He’s a great companion and a great helpmate. I’ve little doubt he’ll be an excellent father; he’s already a great husband. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    @winstonchurchill:  No one is indispensible.  Water, air, nutrients= necessity.  So no, I do not need my husband.  Do I love him dearly?  yes.  Is it hard to imagine my life without him?  Yes.  But saying that I need him is a lie, and I cannot believe anyone needs their SO because if you need him, then there is no life without him, and that’s just scary to me.  

    I hope to spend the rest of my days with my husband, and I would do almost anything for him, but because he is not air, water, or nutriets, I do not need him.  I got a bit too technical, I know. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @This Time Round:  Love is much sweeter the second time around, or when you are older and can truly appreciate what it means to go without it in your life.

     

    Thank you! And I couldn’t agree with this more. 

     

    When I was in my 20s, I would have rolled my eyes at the thought of “needing” a man. My perspective is oh, so very different now. And I wouldn’t have had this perspective if it hadn’t taken so long to find the right one.

     

    But the wait was worth it!! 

     

    🙂

     

    Post # 53
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Yes, I need my husband. 

    When I was single, I didn’t feel like I needed a man, and I didn’t feel incomplete. But after falling in love with him, building a life together, becoming a family, we need each other. We don’t believe in soul mates; we believe that love is a choice, and we have chosen to intertwine ourselves together irrevocably. We have chosen to need each other.

    Post # 54
    Member
    925 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MsMeow:  I read only up until your comment and thought that I had to read no further. You’ve summed it up perfectly!

    OP, I also did not know how to answer, because I am a completely functioning, responsible person on my own, but I am such a better version of “me” when he’s around. He brings the best out of me (and I’d like to think the opposite is true, too) 🙂

    Post # 55
    Member
    9752 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I could physically survive without him, I would still be breathing without him, I wouldn’t physically die without him. But I still stick by my answer, I need him. I depend on him emotionally, physically, financially, and he depends on me. We know we can fully depend on each other, for anything, and that has come over nearly 5 years together. But we did know early on.

    Post # 56
    Member
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    @dv3849:  +100!

    Post # 57
    Member
    1379 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @aliciapdx:  +1000

    I do think that people underestimate how they will react if a tragic situation like divorce or widowhood happens. Thinking about it is scary as shit, but if it happens, you put one foot in front of the other and get on with your life because that’s what you have to do. There’s no other choice. You survive and move on. How many young widows and widowers end up eventually remarrying? A large number of them. How many breakups has this board seen where the Bee was completely disraught-and came back a few months or a year later posting about their fabulous new life? More than I can count. 

    At least I hope that’s what’s going on here. I would find it really sad if any young person with a lot to offer never found love and happiness after after a breakup or death of their partner.

     

    Post # 58
    Member
    8038 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I have survived on my own, but yeah… I would say I need my Fiance. It goes beyond just wanting him around. Life would be a hell of a lot harder without him.

    Post # 59
    Member
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No, I want him, but I don’t need him.

    Post # 60
    Member
    1114 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I do and I don’t. Being DINK’s, especially with Fiance being a high income earner, I think it would be very tough for me to be completely independent, at least right away, if Fiance were to leave me or pass away. I for sure would have to move back in with my parents and figure some things out, at least temporarily.

    And I’ve started to rely on the emotional support he provides every day, which I’m not sure I could get to the same extent from anyone else in my life.

    It would devestate me if something were to happen to Fiance or our relationship, overall I’d survive. It would just be really really tough.

    The topic ‘Do you need your SO?’ is closed to new replies.

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