(Closed) Do you participate in the bouquet toss if you’re engaged?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Hm, I’m not sure what the etiquette is, but I stopped going for the bouquet. I feel like it would be a bit odd….like I’m still looking!

Post # 4
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I stopped trying as well- which was good because I attended my first wedding where the garter was put on to the woman who caught the bouquet.  Talk about uncomfortable, I would have been mortified if that was me!

Post # 5
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

haha oooh yes! I totally rip my shoes off & play! 🙂

I’ve been to 4 weddings since I got engaged & 3 of the 4 played a game instead of the traditional bouquet toss! I figure this is my last chance & I’d better join the fun while I can. What’s really kind of silly is that I love the bouquet toss, but I’m not having one at my wedding.

Post # 6
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

you don’t have to even if you weren’t engaged. if i wasn’t feeling the toss, i didn’t join in. simple as that. remember, no one can make you do what you don’t want to.

Post # 7
22 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

The last wedding I was at (and I was already engaged), people “pushed” me towards the bouquet toss, so I felt like I had to participate, but I also felt weird.  I kinda just stood in the back and pretended like I was participating.  🙂

Post # 8
7408 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Optional I think.

Post # 9
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

nobody remembers it, it’s just fun for a minute, and it’s not “saying” anything, plus you will help to fill out the field, and keep the whole thing from looking sparse… you don’t have to go for it either, but if it comes right at you, don’t just let it fall on the ground… go with the flow.

Post # 10
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I thought this was a weird thing too! I went to FI’s coworker’s wedding a couple of months ago and when it was time for the toss the DJ called all of the single ladies out to the floor. So, being engaged, I remained seated. But then he said “even the ladies that are with boyfriends or are engaged! You’re technically still single!” I thought it was weird but I had some people urging me, so I just kind of stood to the side but went up with the crowd.

Post # 11
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t participate anymore…if people insist (as they always do) I just say that I heard it was bad luck for someone whowas already engaged to catch the bouquet & they leave me alone…

Post # 12
19 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

I never participate in the bouquet toss (I just hate it) and no one has ever been offended or said anything. You can always run to the loo if you sense it’s coming and you don’t want to do it. That’s usually what I do because even though I hate it/don’t want to do it, there’s always someone trying to cajole me into participating (as someone else said above).

Post # 13
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I won’t, but I also tried not to participate before I got engaged. The second I felt it coming, I conveniently needed to go use the bathroom. Now when I am harassed about participating, I laugh and say “psh, I already know when I’m getting married” and then I’m left alone. I do think it would feel awkward to participate.

Post # 14
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Not gonna lie…I love the bouquet toss. I’ll stand up for it until the day I’m married (less than 5 months!).

BUT, I’ve missed more than one toss because I was in the washroom or outside for a breather.

Do what you want. If it’s natural, go for it. If not, sit it out. No one will notice or, if they do, no one will remember. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Post # 15
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it’s totally up to you whether you want to participate or not.  I was engaged when I went to a friends wedding last summer, and I felt awkward going up to try and catch the bouquet, just because anyone that I knew at that wedding knew I was engaged already.

Post # 16
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I play for fun…I stand in the back with my single friends (who all lament about how awkward it is, so I go, “no no i’ll go with you!!!”) and tell them I’ll bat it their way.

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