Post # 31
“but it made me feel like he is trying to get their attention or telling them he is interested”
If we was commenting on their photos or sending them direct messages, I think he’s tyring to get their attention. People get like 1,000 likes on their instagram photos, the women probably don’t even notice that he’s liked their photo, and there are a lot more effective ways for him to get their attention.
I definitely think that you are overthinking this, and I would encourage you to not monitor his likes if it is going to make your mind wander all of over the place like this. It’s not healthy for you or him, and it doesn’t appear like he is doing anything sketchy.
Post # 32
I guess I’m going to be the only uncool woman on this site.. My bf does not have Instagram, but if he did and was liking some of the filth that was on there, yes I would be annoyed.
I’m not talking pictures of his female friends or coworkers or the like, I’m talking the scantily clad “IG models” and even more provocative images that are all over IG.
Sure, it has something to do with deep-seated insecurity on my part, but it also has to do with what you are putting out into the world. If I can see what you are liking, so can anyone else. I just don’t really find it appropriate to be outwardly displaying that you “like” the woman in the thong shaking it.
Post # 33
I never look at my “following feed” so this is a definite no. I trust my fiancé and don’t feel the need to see what he’s doing on social media – probably because I know he’s usually scrolling through memes haha.
Post # 34
morethanyesterday : I agree. I don’t get why wives find it ok their husbands are using their spare time to stare at half naked chicks on their phones. KINDA weird… and like you said… disrespectful.
Find something else to do, man…
Post # 35
I have entirely too much business of my own to mind to be worrying about what he likes on social media.
You need more fullness and excitement and satisfaction in your life so your partner is a wonderful addition to something that is already delicious not a central focus where you’re worried about what he’s doing or liking when you aren’t around to police his behavior.
Post # 36
saratiara2 : Ha your Bradley comment made me laugh. To be honest, I wouldn’t care if it’s a celebrity. It’s more people in our friend circle or community where I feel slightly embarassed that everyone knows my boyfriend likes all these other girl’s photos. Trust me, I know my controlling behavior is a turn off. Trust issues from an ex cheating + therapy but still it’s easy to resort to these insecurities. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Post # 37
No, I honestly don’t care what my partner likes on Instagram because I trust her 100% and know she would never be trying to “creep” on anyone or get their attention. My partner and I follow celebrities and various other people we’ve never met who we find attractive, and she will often like another woman’s photo and show me and be like “wow look how hot she looks!”. I don’t mind this at all.
Tbh I don’t really see just liking a photo as creeping, I like a lot of photos of people who I don’t fancy at all just to show that I think it’s a nice photo or I agree with their caption etc. This includes selfies and all sorts. If she was commenting being flirtatious I think that’s the only time I would have a problem.
Post # 38
I answered “no” in your poll because for my own case, I know my fiance and trust him completely. Also, he’s not really active on those types of social media (he’s more of a reddit kind of guy).
However, I am going to go against the grain apparently here and say that if I had just started dating someone and saw this behaviour, I would consider it a major turn-off. It’s one thing if it’s a celebrity and equally male/female, or if they simply “liked” everything on their feed/from their friends. But if I saw mostly “likes” for female friends, especially ones in bikinis and such? I would be uneasy and question their apparent wandering eyes. I guess I just wouldn’t want to be with someone like that if it felt icky.
Post # 39
morethanyesterday : Thank you. All the comments suggesting I find a hobby are making me laugh. I mean, it literally is a two second scan where it shows every photo and it’s in the following feed. I don’t go picture by picture. I’m not saying it’s cool to monitor. I’m just saying it’s very tempting not to look but obviously I agree the healthier choice is not to. I don’t want to wreck something good over something so stupid.
Post # 40
surftown89 : If I am honest, I did at the beginning of the relationship and was bothered that he liked photos of the suicide girls on Facebook. What I realise now is that that was my own insecurities about myself and it is unfair to compare myself to models when I am fantastic within my own skin. He loves me for me and how I look and I am, that is worth more than him liking a couple of photos on Facebook. As for other girls on his Facebook and Instagram I’m not bothered, he has a lot of friends that are female and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just because he liked a photo doesn’t mean anything much. A good chunk of the time he likes the art or just some insignificant detail about it.
I would leave it alone, there is most likely nothing about it. It is a bit controlling to be monitoring your partner social media so much and I wouldn’t like it if he did that to me, two way street. As far as I’m concerned my partner allowed to look and like whatever he likes as long as he stays in the Boundr like it if he did that to me, two way street. As far as I’m concerned my partner allowed to look and like whatever he likes as long as he stays in the boundaries.
Post # 41
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
I dunno, you can’t control what someone else does on the internet. That being said we don’t use social media so I don’t actually know what it would feel like if my SO did this.
Go with your gut.
Post # 42
My husband would never like bikini pics of anyone on Instagram, let alone women we know. That’s just weird. He’s not using social media to oggle other people. I’d be grossed out if he were that kind of person & our relationship would not have lasted long if he were that kind of person. I’ve never considered tracking what he views or likes. I just know what kind of person he is & it’s just not something he’d do.
Post # 43
surftown89 : Is he liking a way higher proportion of these women’s photos than of his male friends’ or yours? Because at some point that could cross a line. Some people just like most of the things their friends post though; that shouldn’t make you feel bad.
Post # 44
I think it’s more tasteful for him to quietly appreciate the photo without having to “like” it. Pretty sure that’s what my Fiance does with pics of bikini models lol xox
Post # 45
My husband mainly only follows guys he admires in his industry and musicians and things like that so it’s never really been an issue. I follow wayyy more sexually provocative females than he does. Liking random hot girl accounts wouldn’t really bother me either, I’d more just roll my eyes at him.
When I’ve seen it become an issue in other people’s relationships it’s usually part of a bigger issue. Often where the girl is insecure and/or the guy is a flirty sleezebag (or vice versa) and one partner sees the other as being shitty in real life, but the only thing they can really quantify is instagram.. I’ve never seen an otherwise perfectly happy couple dig into each other’s social media and create an issue out of it.