(Closed) Do you really believe that guys really "are too busy" to text you?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I think it’s only a valid reason for the course of a few hours. I know that sometimes when I text Mr. H, if he’s at work or school then it will be 4-5 hours before he replies. That I totally get. If I texted him on a Monday and heard from him Wednesday because “it wasn’t the first thing on his mind because he’s too busy,” then yeah I call BS. I know that I’m a priority to him, and I think most guys in relationships or even who are just starting to date a girl they really like will MAKE time to text if it’s important to them. How long does it really take to send a text?

 

Also, on a side note but text-related: I’m always wary of people who never text me back (“too busy?”) but who are always on their phones when they’re with me. Sketchy.

Post # 18
Member
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I think if a guy is interested he’ll make the effort. I don’t think the effort needs to be texting all the time.  Some guys (and girls) just arne’t into texting (shocking to believe in this day and age I know) However, I also am not the type of girl to sit by my phone waiting for it to vibrate and don’t think any woman should.  She should read between the lines. If he’s not making an effort to reach out to her or if she is reaching out to him with little to no response, he’s just not that into you and she should move it along.

Post # 19
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

abbie017I can understand that some people might not have access to cell phones during work, but I know guys who have found ways to get around it. They just get a Google voice account or use some other service on their work computers and can send and receive (free) texts from a computer (texts also gets sent to their cell phones as well). 

Post # 20
Member
7851 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, my Darling Husband works in a high security complex as a contractor for the government where he is not even allowed to take his cell phone into the building.  So if I had judged him by his lack of text response when we were first dating I would have been out of luck and out of a great relationship.  Not everyone is tied to a phone.

Post # 21
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I think that if someone is really interested, they will make the time for you no matter how busy they are.

And I can honestly say that in the past, I have rarely texted people and said it was because I was busy, but I really just wasn’t that interested.

Post # 22
Member
9818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If a guy is truly interested he WILL make the effort.  I can understand a job where you are not allowed to use your phone but I would expect for him to text at night.  Doesn’t have to be tons of texting though.  Calling every/every other night or repeatedly asking you out would be the same thing to me.

If someone doesn’t have time to respond to your text or be bothered to talk to you they are not really that interested in you.  If he’s interested, you will know.  If you’re questioning, then he’s probably not interested.

Post # 23
Member
9951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Completely agree… especially so in the beginning of a relationship…

A man who wants you in his life WILL GO OUT OF HIS WAY to do things to make it so

Like Phoneing, Texting etc.

He wants to put himself ON YOUR MIND… because he doesn’t want to lose you to some other guy who may come along in the meantime

(That is why, when you hear a guy say he was too busy to call, when you first met him and gave him your phone number… is a BS excuse)

Greg Behrendt has a whole chapter about this in “He’s Just Not That Into You” entitled… “IF He’s Not Calling You” (Chapter 1)

— — —

Now post Honeymoon Stage… and the relationship is more settled…

Then ya the “I am sorry, but I was really busy today… too busy to call” is a viable excuse… but certainly not every.single.day

I was married for over 20 Years the first time, and we would talk at least once pretty much every single day of our marriage no matter what we were doing, or where in the world we were.  It would be rare to go a whole day and not talk.

 

Post # 24
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

We make time for what’s important to us, so no, I don’t believe you can be too busy to text someone you’re into.

Post # 25
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee

If a guy is really into you, he will never make you wait or wonder.

Post # 26
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsHalpert:  + 1.

I do think sometimes people are too busy to text. If I’m in a work groove I’m not going to respond to a text unless it seems urgent. Lord knows, Darling Husband is pretty awful at answering his phone or texting back. Even if I’m like “I’M LITERALLY AT THE STORE NOW, WHAT IS THAT THING YOU SAID YOU WOULD DIE WITHOUT?” haha. Truth is, he falls into work binges and the whole world might as well not exist then. (Believe me, it’s frustrating at times!) 

But this isn’t valid for more than a few hours, particularly after work hours. It takes 2 seconds to reach out with a text. If a guy really likes you, he’ll squeeze in time somewhere. 

However, I do totally believe that men (and women!) can be “too busy” to constantly text back and forth. That’s can get super annoying quickly, and just because Darling Husband loves me doesn’t mean he wants to drop what he’s doing and text me back every 4 minutes ALL day. 

Post # 27
Member
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I strongly believe that when a man is into you, he’ll WANT to text you all the time. Not like maybe once a week.

I disagree with this.  Darling Husband and I rarely text each other, it has nothing to do with how much we’re into each other.

As for being too busy, yes, I think it’s possible for someone to be too busy too text.  Darling Husband can’t be driving around looking for cell service when he’s working in the field.

 

Post # 28
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I agree. Especially in early stages of a relationship. My Darling Husband has always been quick to text/respond to me, from day 1. He actually (still to this day) gets agitated if I don’t respond to him in a timely manner, like within an hour or so, because he knows I am attached to my phone. Last week I was busier at work than usual, and he text me I Love you, and good morning. Then something about what to do that night. Then another thing about what to do that night, in the span of about 3 hours. I didn;t respond, and just as I saw his messages and wsa going to respond, I got a ‘HELLOOOOOOO’. LOL.

IMO, if he’s not texting you at least once a day, he’s not as interested as he claims.

Post # 29
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

*sigh* I wish I were on Weddingbee last year and that this thread already existed!  Last year I was dating a guy who seemed like the whole package – handsome, fit, a cardiologist (well, a cardiology fellow at the time), only 4 years older than me, had a provider instinct, the works…but one thing that would really drive me crazy was that it always took him 6-72 hours to respond to a text. 

That drove my CRAZY.  I didn’t know if he liked me.  There were a few other issues but this one thing really got to me.  When I said perhaps he was honestly extremely busy, my coworker said, “I don’t believe it takes Barack Obama 6-72 hours to reply to one of Michelle’s texts.”  That was my Aha-OMG-That’s-So-True Moment.

I ended that relationship after 2 months, when I met my now SO.  It was such a stark contrast!  My SO texted me more in a day than the other guy did in two weeks.  Maybe even a month.  My SO doesn’t deal with people dying in front of him, but he’s an engineer and an entrepreneur so he’s a busy guy too.  The difference was just so dramatic – it was as if the cosmos were hitting me with a 2 X 4 – here’s the difference between someone who’s wrong for you and someone who’s right for you, who gives you what you need.

Post # 30
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I agree that men will make the effort for women they’re interested in.  I think some of the PP’s have been taking the “texting” part of this too literally.  It’s not about whether a man will pick up a phone to send a text — it’s about whether he’s reaching out at ALL, whether it’s calling, texting, emailing, etc.  

If there’s a man who’s texting you once a WEEK because he’s “too busy” and if you aren’t having ANY other contact with him during that time, he’s not interested.  But if you’re talking on the phone, emailing, meeting up, etc, I’d be inclined to say he’s interested but just isn’t a texter.  

Post # 31
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

While I think that a guy who is interested will definitely respond in a timely manner – no matter how busy, even if just to say, “Hey – hope you’re having a good day; I’m super busy today so will catch up with you later” — I still think texting can be such a cop-out in the early stages of a relationship (even if he is interested)!  A guy who is TRULY interested will CALL, and not have full-out conversations via text.  Just my opinion, and I guess it’s the day and age we live in, but blah — have a real convo!

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