(Closed) Do you really believe that guys really "are too busy" to text you?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Sometimes I don’t reply to texts very quickly. I don’t actually like to look at my phone that much, and even when I do, I don’t feel like i necessarily need to OMG rush to respond immediately. I don’t see texts as necessarily super-urgent. Obviously if I see that the content IS urgent, I will respond right away. Or if I just feel in the mood to.

I haven’t noticed any diffeence in males or females responding to texts faster than the other gender, except of course Fiance tends to text me back especially quickly, because we’re close, and also because he’s a big phone person. He really does use his phone a lot.

Post # 33
Bee
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@chicagoworkinggirl:  I think it depends on the person! I’m not a big texter (I really often forget to respond or just don’t check my phone all day, I leave it at home a lot) so I probably gave off those “not interested” signals just from not being a texter, when I was dating around before I met my Darling Husband. He’s not a big texter either, so even though we were really into each other and fell in love, I don’t think we texted more than, maybe, once a day or every other day. We’re just not that type!

BUT if someone is glued to their phone normally, I’d be concerned about not hearing from them if I was dating them. 

@joya_aspera:  +1 about not seeing texts as important/urgent – if it’s important, call!

Post # 34
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

No one is ever “too busy” to do anything. “Too busy” is really code for “it’s not a priority.”

This is more acceptable if he is overseas in the military, in med school, or on a plane or something. But if he is a normal guy, with normal-ish working hours, he isn’t texting because he has found something or someone more interesting to occupy his time.

While dating, I gave so many guys the slip because they waited too long to call me after a date, or they had other things to do when I called them. But I have no regrets–any guy who won’t call after a date probably won’t call to let you know he is coming home late after work, and any guy who gets off the phone quickly would probably not be a very attentive husband. Mostly I got no resistance when I told them why I wasn’t going to continue dating them once they did finally call (confirming my gut feeling that if he isn’t in touch, he really isn’t into you), but a few guys were surprised and sounded let down.

Oh, well. It’s not my job to teach someone how to be a boyfriend. Hopefully they learned their lesson in time to teach the next girl right, and pursue her like a man who gives a damn. (I know some women are fine with guys who don’t pursue, but that was a non-negotiable for me.)

Post # 35
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

A man who is interested in a woman (early stages of relationship) will NEVER be too busy to text.  It’s like an entire chapter in the book “He’s Just Not That Into You.”

It’s most definitely an excuse.

Post # 36
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Anyone who is interested will make at least a small effort. My husband is in skilled trades and can’t be texting all day – he literally is too busy. But he does message me when he takes a break and calls me when he has lunch. He did the same when we were dating. 

I would never jeopardize my job to text someone so if that is really the case, then I’d understand. However, I’m sure I could find 2 minutes to text after work. We make time for what is important to us. If not during work hours than at least at some point in the day.

If I just started dating someone, chances are they are not on the top of my priority list. It would be an “as I have time” effort rather than going out of my way. I make an effort for people I am invested in but not necessarily for randoms.

Post # 37
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think if a guy is into you he’ll be in contact fairly reguarly. But I also think some people might be cautious to give their new BF/GF too much too early. For nearly the first year I knew my S/O, we weren’t always in contact everyday. In the very beginning before we became exclusive, we usually only had contact a few time a week. I preferred that and never felt neglected. Now that we’re much more serious, we generally talk twice a day and send FB messages throughout the day.

Also, some people aren’t always by their phones. I know on super busy days it’s possible to not check my phone all day. And really, I dislike feeling that I have to be chained to my phone all the time.

Post # 38
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If they haven’t pre-warned you that they are in a line of work where they don’t have access to a phone, then no. 

I work 10 hours a day, and my job never stops from the minute I get there to the minute I leave…but even I find time to reply to a text.  Most of the time, when I’m in the restroom.  I probably check my phone about 3 times during the whole day. 

I expect the same from Fiance.  We went through a stage (when I wasn’t working) where I could see that he’d been posting on social media for hours…when I’d sent him a text which required a reply.   Giving him a taste of his own medicine soon stopped that. 

Post # 39
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Some people can’t have their phones with them at work and don’t use a computer, so no, I don’t believe that men are never too busy to text. FH can’t have his phone on him at work and he doesn’t have a computer so I easily go 6 hours without talking to him. He will text or call on his lunch break. 

Plus, not everyone is glued to their phones all the time. When FH gets home, the phone goes on the bedside table and he doesn’t look at it unless it rings. 

There’s a difference in them not texting at work and then not hearing back from somone for a week. 

Post # 40
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

My Darling Husband HATES texting. But he made sure to call me every night!

Post # 41
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

If a guy is really into you in the beginning of a relationship I think he would drop pretty much anything to respond to a text from you! He’s trying to impress you and everything, so it makes sense. I’ve been with my SO for five years, and sometimes he pulls the “I was busy” card for the most random things. It doesn’t bother me because I know if he’s at home he’s probably playing video games. The only thing I can say is if he does some kind of retail job or works with customers it may be difficult for him to find time to text back. I know there are hours when my SO doesn’t respond to a text because he is swamped with customers. It would look pretty bad if he just whipped out his cell phone to text me.

Post # 42
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

before we lived together he would email me a lot during the day (his cell doesn’t work in his office). He is always very busy at work but would make the time. He would also call me at 5:01 everyday as soon as he walked out of the building and had reception again.

Now we don’t really need to email everyday so if he is busy then he won’t..he also obviously doesn’t call me right when he leaves work unless he needs to pick something up, etc. but it doesn’t matter because we know we are coming home to each other and we can make nightly plans then.

Post # 43
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I agree with you. No one is ever that busy. If they are into you, they will make time to contact you. Phone calls are a good sign too 🙂

Post # 44
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I think it really depends on the guy.  I text him randomly throughout the day.  He, however, almost never texts me.  Part of the reason is he works in healthcare and isn’t supposed to have his cell phone on him for HIPPA compliance.  And he’s really big about doing everything by the book.  Which I completely understand because I’m in the same boat.

But even when he’s off work he still doesn’t text.  His phone’s always in another room or he just doesn’t see the point.  It doesn’t really bother me because he’s like that to everybody.  

Post # 45
Member
437 posts
Helper bee

@chicagoworkinggirl:  To a certain extent I agree. Although when Fiance and I first started dating it was more, I miss you, can I come get you? Than texting throughout the day, neither of us are big texters. 

Post # 46
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee

@chicagoworkinggirl:  Darling Husband is not a big texter, but he always text me 🙂  When we first started dating he actually had to change his phone plan so he’d have unlimited text because we texted each other so often (I didn’t know that until months later!) 

I feel like if he’s into you he’d text.  With others I dated, the ones who were more into me texted more frequently the ones who weren’t didn’t :-/

I know everyone is different, but if *you* liked someone wouldn’t you text them often/respond to their text?

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