(Closed) Do you remember any funny confessions you made as a child?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
2156 posts
Buzzing bee

iarebridezilla:  I tripped up the steps to take my first Communion in front of the whole church, but I don’t remember what I confessed haha

I stopped going to church when I was around the same age as you and have only gone a handful of times since then. 

Post # 3
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I hated confession!! It was so awkard. I would say I fought with my brother and sister, didn’t listen to my parents, the priest would be like “and…. and…” and I’d just make stuff up to make him happy. It’s just so wrong!!

Post # 5
9675 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Haha…I was raised Catholic (went through all that hoopla as a child anyway) but I can’t remember any of my confessions.  Probably just fighting with my brothers or not listing to my parents.  It’s so weird they have you do that as a 7 year old.  Yours are pretty funny.  I’m agnostic now so I certainly haven’t been in a looong long time.

Post # 6
2223 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

The only time I ever went to confession was when I had my 1st Reconciliation, or whatever they called it. I remember freezing and only being able to come up with “I didn’t eat my broccoli last week.” Later, I remembered being mean to my sisters, lying, etc., and was convinced for weeks that the priest knew I was a liar and that I would never get into heaven. Luckily, my parents never made me go back!

Post # 7
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

iarebridezilla:  I don’t know if this counts but I went to a nursery school in our presbyterian church. I was either 3 or 4 and told them that I would play with knives in the kitchen while my mom watched soap operas lmao!! My mom NEVER in her life watched soaps and I had no access to the knives. wtf!? 

Post # 8
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

iarebridezilla:  I was raised Catholic.  Confession was terrifying.  I made up fake sins to confess, no way was I telling that priest my real ones.

Post # 12
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

iarebridezilla:  LOL! That’s pretty bad when a priest is practically making up sins to gain a confession, & from a child no less. He must have been so pleased with himself.

By The Way, I’ve been in & out of church my whole life, & while I’m a Christian, I’ll still confess that sometimes church IS boring. That’s why there are so many jokes & references about falling asleep during sermons… Zzz… I’d rather watch it on TV so I can at least pick the speaker & topic, but anyways.. Moving on.

Confessions confessions…? Why can’t I think of anything? I’ll get back to you on this..

Post # 13
8 posts

iarebridezilla:  Your Mousetrap story is hilarious! I can relate to this, as I was also raised Catholic. I remember fretting about confession and planning in advance what I would say to the priest.

The very first time I confessed (before First Communion), I told the priest that sometimes I would fall asleep during mass. He gave me the usual, “10 Hail Marys, yadayada” then ended with, “…and try to stay awake.”

Post # 14
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

iarebridezilla:  haha thats great! ive got a really weird one. i confessed to witch craft when i was like 11. this was after sandra bullucks practical magic came out. i liked a boy and put a spell he would brake up with so and so…. wonder what the priest thought of that… i def had some prayers to do and not to ever do it again… by the way they broke up haha. i am still catholic and not a witch in case you were wondering.

Post # 15
1411 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I was raised Orthodox,  and I think there’s not as much of an emphasis on Confession, but it’s still a sacrament. I confessed once or twice as a relatively young teenager, and all I remember is that it was awkward as hell. I went to church almost every Sunday until I was 18, and the last few years I knew it was sooo not for me, but it was easier to go than resist my mom. I’m kind of happy I fell in love with a nice Jewish boy because I didn’t really have to explain to my mom why I don’t want to get married in a Greek Orthodox church. She knows that I don’t really identify as Christian, but I don’t think she realizes just how completely I disagree with all 3 Abrahamic religions.

Anyways, I do try to respect religions, and yesterday I emailed a Priest to make sure incorporating a certain thing from the Greek Orthodox ceremony into my secular one wouldn’t be blasphemous, and his response was kind of of course not silly girl, so woohoo.

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