(Closed) Do you send an invitation to people who verbally tell you they cannot attend?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Trinity Lutheran Church & Idlewild Country Club

I heard that you’re supposed to send invites regardless. That way, at least the folks know you’re thinking about them 🙂 and if their plans change in the next few months,then they’ll still be able to come.

Post # 4
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly, it depends. I think the etiquette is to still send them, but I’m only sending them to the people I know will enjoy getting them. For FI’s college buddies, we’re not going to bother. For my female cousins who can’t attend but still want all the updates, they are getting all of the invites (bacholerette, shower, wedding) because they enjoy them.

If there is any doubt, err on the side of sending. Things could change.

Post # 5
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yes, still send the invite even if you *know* they can’t attend. its just polite and in case their plans change and can come 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If they received a STD – – They receive an invitation….I am riding in a similar boat Wink

Post # 8
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I sent them. Actually, at least 2 invitees changed their mind and decided to come (due to schedule changes). As for some of the guests on my H’s side who said that they cannot come, he made the decision himself not to send ‘cuz he does not want to come off as wanting gifts. I was fine with that decision ‘cuz those are his guests (whom he’s closer to so he made the call). As for the guests I’m closer to, I was confident they wouldn’t think of me this way and it would still be a nice gesture to send them an invitation. I also enclosed a small note card stating that “I’m sorry that you cannot make it. Hope to catch up soon..” or something to that nature.

Post # 9
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Good question, I was wondering that myself! I think @monitajb gave the best advice so far, you never know if peoples situations are going to change! And yes the college buddies probably don’t really get all giddy about it like the female cousins do!

Post # 10
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Though it could ruin the “look” of your invites, you could always enclose a personal note telling them that yes, you know they cannot join you, but you are thinking of them and they will be missed.  I have found that people still like to be included! 

Post # 11
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

There were a few people that I knew couldn’t come but I still sent an invitation to.  My family generally knows not to send something if they can’t afford it and I told my non-attending friends not to worry about it.

Post # 12
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Definitely do that  because even though they cannot attend they still want to be thought about. I made that mistake and really hurt someone’s feelings.

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