(Closed) Do you share passwords, look at his phone, etc?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is your DH/FI fine with you knowing his passwords, checking his phone/laptop, etc (and vice versa)?
    No, we do not share passwords or look at each others laptops or phones : (29 votes)
    16 %
    No, but I've snooped on him in the past : (22 votes)
    12 %
    Yes, but I rarely/never actually look : (89 votes)
    50 %
    Yes, and we check each other's phones/laptops : (28 votes)
    16 %
    Other (please explain) : (9 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 30
    82 posts
    Worker bee

    @GirlWithARing: Just curious and not looking to stir the pot, but if your in a relationship of any sort, what ya doing on Ashley Madison ? 😉

    Post # 31
    13095 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We know each others passwords so that we can access things if the other is away and needs something or forgets to send out an email or whatever.  But I have never felt any need or desire to “snoop” on Darling Husband.  If I ever do – it is a sign that something needs fixing in our relationship.

    Post # 32
    865 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @mwitter80: Im the exact same way..Fiance never tells me the whole story! So I always have to look at his phone to get what really happen! 🙂

    Post # 33
    2360 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

    @Doubtful:There is another active thread about an article written by a woman who went undercover on Ashley Madison.  I think that is where the OP is coming from.

    Post # 35
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Nope. We don’t even know eachother’s passwords for things like Facebook or Email. He knows the code to get into my phone and I know his, but it would be like me handing him my phone and saying “can you google _____?” while I’m driving or something or using it for calls/directions.

    We are sharing his laptop right now because mine died, but normally we don’t even do that. I don’t get the whole “need to know everything he says to everyone” idea. If he gets a text at a weird hour, I’ll ask who it is or something, but he’ll just show me it’s his Dad or whatever. Same goes for if I do.

    I don’t get why people choose to further complicate their lives with the whole “snooping” thing. Seriously. If he’s cheating, you’ll figure it out one way or another. No reason to go out and SEARCH for it.

    Post # 36
    5283 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We also know each others passwords for mostly everything (I think the only thing we don’t know are each other FB passwords, but who needs to know that?) – its only out of convenience if for whatever reason one of us asks the other to look something up/ send something for us.

    I never have snooped & never will. Same with him.

    Post # 37
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee

    We don’t know each others passwords, but we’ve never asked each other for them either. I don’t know if I’d want to give him mine anyway, just for the reason of its mine. I guess if he asked I would but, i don’t want to. lol. I’m good at sharing things and I’m not hiding anything but, its mine. No idea why i feel that way and I know its weird, but someone else reading my messages, i just don’t like that.

    Post # 38
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Running Elley: We also have combined finances, so it makes sense to know each other’s passwords. If one of us is at work or something and forgot to pay a bill, we can call each other and take care of it.

    I feel like we trust each other and neither of us has any secrets, so we’re totally open with passwords. I don’t really feel like I have anything to hide.

    Post # 39
    123 posts
    Blushing bee

    In my last relationship, I checked my ex’s phone regularly because he was regularly up to no good. I know now that I should have packed up and left but I stayed and tried to work it out. 

    With the giant, I trust his love completely and since we’ve both been cheated on before, he knows how much it hurts to be cheated on and I know he would never do that. 

    So, I don’t check his stuff because I don’t want to have the same feelings as I did in my past bad relationships. And I don’t feel the need to do so because I trust him.

    Post # 40
    11324 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    We know all of each others’ passwords and are free to use each others phones/laptops without the others’ consent (although we have our own so we don’t that often). Neither of us is snoopy though… but like if he’s upstairs and he gets a text message I’ll often just look to see who it is so I can yell up “x just texted you, want your phone?” or something. 

    Post # 41
    1087 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    we share passwords and firefox saves them anyhow. There are times he doesnt feel like emailing or replying to a person so he asks me to do it for him. I log onto his profile and email/ reply like Im him lol its kind of funny

    Post # 43
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    We share passwords but do not look at eachother’s phones.  Both are because we trust eachother.  I don’t have his passwords to check up on him, just because he has only 2 passwords for everything (stupidly) and I need them to access certain accounts.  I think trust is super important and checking up on eachother undermines it.

    Post # 44
    1536 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We know each others passwords and have a completely open policy with one another. The only email he doesn’t have access to is my work account because that’s against company policy and I don’t have anything personal in there anyway. It’s kind of annoying if I know he’s been on my facebook just because he really has nothing to worry about, but at the same time it doesn’t bother me that much because I know it will give him peace of mind. We were both cheated on in the past and both had SOs who did a lot of that through the internet, so from the very start we said we would be 100% open about all of that so we could learn to trust again. I hardly ever go on FI’s accounts unless he asks me to or I need someone’s number or something. We have nothing to hide so it works for us. Leaves no room for a grey area which is nice when you are going to be husband and wife.

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