Post # 1
I do and I never really found it strange but my SIL does. She’s actually told me that she finds it weird that I hug and kiss our IL’s (she’s DH’s brothers wife). In the 7+ years that I’ve known her, I’ve only witnessed her show any kind of affection towards them maybe half a dozen times and even then we’re talking like Christmas and when they had their daughter. I, on the other hand, hug my Father-In-Law almost every time we leave and kiss my Mother-In-Law (on the cheek) both when we arrive and depart.
I think a lot of this has to do do with my family and how much affection I was given growing up. I was constantly hugged and kissed by not only my parents but also my extended family. Even now as an adult, I kiss my mom whenever I leave her and the same goes for my grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins. I guess we’re just an affectionate bunch. I picture my SIL’s family being the complete opposite so I wonder if that has something to do with how she feels about the subject.
What about you? Do you show affection towards your inlaws?
ETA: I will add that I don’t really show any kind of affection towards my BIL/SIL. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve hugged either of them and even then, it’s only special occasions like weddings and births.
Post # 3
I hug them every time I see them and say goodbye to them. I think that’s pretty normal!
Post # 4
We only see each other like twice a year, so we greet and say good bye with a hug. Which is odd, cause I never even really hug my own parents.
Post # 6
Whenever I see my father-in-law to be, he insists on giving me a hug when I arrive and when I leave. He’s sweet, so I feel okay doing it. My future mother-in-law lives in another state, so it’s kind of awkward when I see her. She usually initiates it. No kisses for either of them. I’m not an overly affectionate person so I usually don’t go for an embrace unless someone starts it.
Post # 8
We always hug each other hello and goodbye. My Future Father-In-Law has kissed me on the cheek a few times (he’s Italian). I’m not a cheek kisser because we don’t do that in my culture, but I will just touch cheeks and air kiss instead if I know someone’s a cheek kisser 🙂
Fiance has one brother and we hug all the time, too.
Post # 7
I always get hugs/kisses from my Future In-Laws (including bro and sis and any extended family) and my SO does the same w my fam (including extended family) so I’m with you on this haha
Post # 9
I’m one of those huggy people who makes non huggy people uncomfortable. I hug my SO’s parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles… neighbors…. ya know.
Post # 10
I don’t hug my own parents, so it’s really weird and uncomfortable that my future in laws hug me.
Post # 12
Just hugs!!! I love my ILs!!!
Post # 11
I hug all of my in-laws (parents, siblings, grandparents). I do tend to be a pretty affectionate person in general–it would be weird to me if after 5 years, I wasn’t comfortable with it!
Post # 13
MissBoPeep Now every time I see your fluffy sheep avatar, I’m going to think of you hugging me and cringe. Even at my wedding, when I was totally elated over being married, I really just wanted to tell people to stop hugging me!
To answer the OP, I see my IL’s quite frequently, and it’s pretty common that I’ll hug my Mother-In-Law. I think I’ve only hugged my similarly un-huggy Father-In-Law on major events (engagement, wedding). I tend to hug women more than men (with the exception of Darling Husband, who gets lots of hugs daily ).
Post # 14
Future Father-In-Law does not show any affection towards me (if he doesn’t show it towards his own son, why would he extend anything to me). I could be a random neighbor he sees while mowing the lawn. I think he’s hugged me twice in the five years Fiance have been together and they were the most uncomfortable hugs ever. I’d prefer to hug a random stranger! FI’s late Mom was somewhat affectionate towards me, hugging me when we arrived for a weekend visit and upon leaving. But, it seemed more out of “arrival” and “departure” obligation.
But, they’re not at all an affectionate family (FBIL is the same – we barely exchange words of greeting/goodbye, FI’s grandpa is nice, but not affectionate, and aunts and uncles are cordial, but nothing more). I didn’t and don’t expect any affection and I think if I ever showed any, it would not be received well (FFIL, I’m sure, would come back with a rude, humiliating remark).
My family, on the otherhand, is affectionate and exchange words that show caring. It really took Fiance by surprise. Something as simple as a handshake from my Dad threw him off! Now Fiance has to get used to my parents saying, “Love you guys,” when we leave. “I love you” is not a phrase uttered within FI’s family. My Aunts and Uncles send their love, inquire about him, send him birthday cards, etc. and they’ve never even met in person. It’s just how my family is. Once you join the family, you’re family and you are extended all the perks of being within, including affection.
Edited to add: With the poll, I chose the last option.
Post # 15
@risingsun: Lol! I have the best of intentions, honest! That’s just how we do things in my family!
Post # 16
My IL’s aren’t very touchy-feely people, and neither am I so when we get together there’s no hugging or kissing. I can’t even imagine dong that!! They are the same way towards my SO; it’s just what is normal in their family.