(Closed) Do you show affection towards your IL's?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do you show affection towards your in laws?
    Sure, we hug and/or kiss whenever we see each other. : (68 votes)
    60 %
    Depends on the circumstances but we do show some level of affection. : (27 votes)
    24 %
    Nope, that's too close for my comfort. : (12 votes)
    11 %
    The only way that I'd get close enough to kiss them would be if I were stabbing them. : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3000 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I hug them every time I see them and say goodbye to them. I think that’s pretty normal!

    Post # 4
    Member
    14485 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We only see each other like twice a year, so we greet and say good bye with a hug.  Which is odd, cause I never even really hug my own parents.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3770 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    Only hug, not kiss…

    Post # 6
    Member
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Whenever I see my father-in-law to be, he insists on giving me a hug when I arrive and when I leave.  He’s sweet, so I feel okay doing it.  My future mother-in-law lives in another state, so it’s kind of awkward when I see her.  She usually initiates it.  No kisses for either of them.  I’m not an overly affectionate person so I usually don’t go for an embrace unless someone starts it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    879 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We always hug each other hello and goodbye. My Future Father-In-Law has kissed me on the cheek a few times (he’s Italian). I’m not a cheek kisser because we don’t do that in my culture, but I will just touch cheeks and air kiss instead if I know someone’s a cheek kisser 🙂

    Fiance has one brother and we hug all the time, too.

    Post # 7
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I always get hugs/kisses from my Future In-Laws (including bro and sis and any extended family) and my SO does the same w my fam (including extended family) so I’m with you on this haha 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’m one of those huggy people who makes non huggy people uncomfortable. I hug my SO’s parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles… neighbors…. ya know.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t hug my own parents, so it’s really weird and uncomfortable that my future in laws hug me.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2951 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Just hugs!!! I love my ILs!!!

    Post # 11
    Member
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I hug all of my in-laws (parents, siblings, grandparents). I do tend to be a pretty affectionate person in general–it would be weird to me if after 5 years, I wasn’t comfortable with it!

    Post # 13
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    MissBoPeep Now every time I see your fluffy sheep avatar, I’m going to think of you hugging me and cringe. Even at my wedding, when I was totally elated over being married, I really just wanted to tell people to stop hugging me!

    To answer the OP, I see my IL’s quite frequently, and it’s pretty common that I’ll hug my Mother-In-Law. I think I’ve only hugged my similarly un-huggy Father-In-Law on major events (engagement, wedding). I tend to hug women more than men (with the exception of Darling Husband, who gets lots of hugs daily Smile).

    Post # 14
    Member
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Future Father-In-Law does not show any affection towards me (if he doesn’t show it towards his own son, why would he extend anything to me). I could be a random neighbor he sees while mowing the lawn. I think he’s hugged me twice in the five years Fiance have been together and they were the most uncomfortable hugs ever. I’d prefer to hug a random stranger! FI’s late Mom was somewhat affectionate towards me, hugging me when we arrived for a weekend visit and upon leaving. But, it seemed more out of “arrival” and “departure” obligation.

    But, they’re not at all an affectionate family (FBIL is the same – we barely exchange words of greeting/goodbye, FI’s grandpa is nice, but not affectionate, and aunts and uncles are cordial, but nothing more). I didn’t and don’t expect any affection and I think if I ever showed any, it would not be received well (FFIL, I’m sure, would come back with a rude, humiliating remark).

    My family, on the otherhand, is affectionate and exchange words that show caring. It really took Fiance by surprise. Something as simple as a handshake from my Dad threw him off! Now Fiance has to get used to my parents saying, “Love you guys,” when we leave. “I love you” is not a phrase uttered within FI’s family. My Aunts and Uncles send their love, inquire about him, send him birthday cards, etc. and they’ve never even met in person. It’s just how my family is. Once you join the family, you’re family and you are extended all the perks of being within, including affection.

    Edited to add: With the poll, I chose the last option.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @risingsun:   Lol! I have the best of intentions, honest! That’s just how we do things in my family!

    Post # 16
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee

    My IL’s aren’t very touchy-feely people, and neither am I so when we get together there’s no hugging or kissing. I can’t even imagine dong that!! They are the same way towards my SO; it’s just what is normal in their family.

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