(Closed) Do You Snoop?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Please pick as many #1-4 that apply AND Pick one from #5 -7!

    I have read their e-mail account

    I have checked their internet history

    I have listened to their voicemails

    I have looked at their text messages

    I feel guilty about snooping!

    No shame - I don't feel guilty at all!

    I don't snoop!

  • Post # 17
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I don’t snoop, but I do check his email and missed calls pretty frequently (with his knowledge).

    With the e-mail, it’s usually just a matter of my needing to find a message I sent him with a recipe or a phone number (he saves, I delete), or to check to see if he’s received something I sent.

    On his cell, I look to see if his family has called to remind him to call back.  His family is so large, it can be difficult to keep track of all of them and who needs a call now, who can wait, etc. 

    Post # 18
    14492 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Nope don’t snoop, but I don’t have to.  FH can’t even turn on a computer, and I read him all kinds of Facebooks and emails.  He even reads the Bee when I log on for him.  And our place has so little storage he couldn’t hide anything even if he tried.  He is the one person I have ever trusted implicitly.

    Post # 19
    7691 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    View original reply
    @troubled: This happens to me too and actually I wont go INTO his email but if it is up I will read something from a friend/mom that is about plans because he ALWAYS forgets to tell me about people coming to visit, people coming over for dinner, him going to friends houses, etc and the only way I find out this information is through things like that. I will be totally honest with him about it though so I dont know if I consider that snooping!

    Post # 20
    299 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t really consider it snooping.. I know he isn’t getting emails, texts, calls etc from any ex’s or anything, but I do check his emails occasionally.  I used to check them all the time because our realtor used to send our house hunting list only to his email, but now he sends it to mine too so I don’t have much of an excuse anymore.  Sometimes I check because his sister will email out pictures of her kids or his mom will send him an email pertaining to our wedding and if I don’t check and respond to it he never will.

    So I think my snooping isn’t really snooping and is totally justified… 🙂

    Post # 21
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I guess I don’t snoop, after your clarification.  My husband and I keep an “open phone policy”.  I’ve told him that he can look through my phone anytime he wants to, and he’s told me I can look through his anytime he wants to.  Knowing that your spouse can go through your phone at anytime definitely keeps accountability in your relationship.  (Not that either of us would do anything we shouldn’t if that wasn’t there… just more inforces that.)

    Post # 22
    1029 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    This issue has never even surfaced in my relationship.. I don’t even have my Fiance email password, nor does he have mine, not for lack of openness but for lack of desire. It’s never occured to me to snoop.

    Post # 23
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Years ago, I snooped once (read FH’s email), and regretted it because I found out something he had lied about (how much of the homework he had done for this class he was failing, which was going to lead to him getting kicked out of school).  It was AWFUL, because I was furious with him for what he did and for lying about it, but I couldn’t tell him that I had looked in his email.  It bothered me for the longest time, and I never snooped again after that.  

    Post # 24
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I don’t snoop, but if DH gets a text message and he’s in the other room, i’ll pick up his phone and let him know who texted/called. But i don’t read his email. Hell, i don’t even have the password.

    Never, never, never, never…if DH snooped on me, I’d never trust him again.

    Post # 25
    442 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I don’t snoop. If I or my SO want to know something all we have to do is ask. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I do believe I’m a GREAT catch, and feel threatened by no one. If the SO wanted to do things behind my back, than she must be a BAD MAMAJAMMA. 🙂

    Post # 26
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I wouldn’t marry someone if I felt I had to snoop.  That’s a red flag to me. 

    Post # 27
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    My Fiance and I are really open and if we get a text and one is closer to the phone they will read it aloud or answer eachothes phones.

    I will say though that I do google translate stuff from my FI’s facebook page because he is Swedish and I do not know Swedish. I sometimes feel bad but it is stuff that I would be able to read anyways if it was in English so I guess it is not really snooping just being nosy. It has actually made me happy a few times because instead of using my name to people that do know me/have never met me he will say my wife.

    Post # 28
    7429 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I used to snoop, but have no reason to now.  If someone calls him, most of the time I answer cuz we have many mutual friends and I’m really close with his family.  no reason to check his email, or texts. I have no reason not to trust him.  But, i do know all his passwords to stuff, while he doesnt’ know any of mine.  He never really cared to know mine, and I know his so I can check to make sure bills are paid, and sometimes to get something out of an email or off his facebook

    Post # 29
    1221 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I used to snoop. I was not very trusting of DH (back then he was just my boyfriend), but this was a long time ago.

    Now, I could care less. I know him too well & know that he would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. There is absolutely no reason to snoop, he tells me everything as it is.

    Post # 30
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    In the beginning of our relationship I’ll admit I snooped a little.  I had fairly recently gotten my heart broken and was left with SERIOUS trust issues as collateral damage. It didn’t take too long, however, to get over those issues and realize my Fiance is a good guy who wasn’t going to sneak around on me.  I haven’t had the urge to snoop in a really long time.

    It’s hard, though, when your last two serious partners ended up being cheaters.

    Post # 31
    648 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I’ve snooped in previous relationships and found some pretty hurtful things. I did it once to Fiance (back when he was BF) and I let him know about it. I don’t do it now. If he uses my computer I close all his stuff out before I use it and I don’t mess with his phone. He works for a construction company that does government projects and his phone is a work issued phone and I’ve been standing there talking to him while he has his e-mail up and he’s (jokingly) said if you read this I’ll have to have you arrested. If I wanted to check his history on my computer that would be easy, but I don’t really care about jeep or dirtbike parts 😛

    I trust him, I have to or I would go crazy. We do LDR when he goes out to projects and I would go insane if I thought he was misbehaving. On the other hand, he knows if I found out he did something like cheating I would be gone before he got a chance to say anything and vice versa.

    I’m pretty open about my stuff and he could check if he wanted, but he doesn’t. I leave my phone laying around and my e-mail password is saved so he’d just have to click login.

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